Lessons in patience…and pausing.

One of the biggest things I noticed during my LASEK recovery and what felt like the never-ending recovery was how little patience and ability to slow the hell down I really have in me. For as much as I talk about it, for as much as I try to do it, to slow down, to be more patient, to just BE, I felt like I was ramming my head against a brick wall every single day.

(BTW I’m at 20/40, folks!! Should be 20/20 by my next appointment in less than two weeks, if not already. Can I get a big woohoo on that?! 20/40 *feels* like 20/20 right now, since I don’t think I have ever seen crisply even with a prescription, so 20/20 should blow my ever-living mind…side note).

It was a huge shock – why, I am not sure, I kind of knew I was semi-impatient before (LOL) – at just how much I railed against allowing the process, embracing un-routine and just going with the flow. I know that I just generally am not that good at going with the flow and while I am working on that area, I know I will never be one of those people that truly *is* a go with the flow-er (yes, I just made up a word…), and just want to get better at it, than trying for ‘my way or the highway’ all the time.

So, I’ve vowed to take a step back. To pause, think, reset, and let patience settle in, which then, does help me roll with things a little bit more than I have in the past.

An example? My in-laws – who are fantastic, by the way, and just the nicest, most caring, giving people I have ever met – are the type that ‘just stop by’ unannounced. I am completely and utterly unprepared for the ‘drop in’ visit. I like to plan. I like to be prepared. I like to be a good hostess. So when a ‘drop by’ happens, I tend to freak out. Like, a lot. And M doesn’t understand why. He doesn’t consider them ‘company’ as they are his parents, of course, but to me, anyone that comes over is ‘company’ in the sense that I want to be prepared, presentable, and ready for anyone that may stop by.

But it is something I realize I need to roll with more. Because it is their nature. And quite frankly, it is a good quality, and a caring one.

So when this past Monday, they came by, three hours ahead of our planned visit and dinner, I started to freak out. I was about to get frustrated. I was about to run around in a tizzy ‘preparing.’ But instead, I took a step back, I took a breath, and calmed down. Like, seriously, is it really the worst thing in the world that my in-laws, who care for me and me for them, came by early? No. Not in the slightest. So, I used it as a chance to learn to ‘host’ while preparing for dinner. Chatting and multi-tasking. And you know what? It turned out to be a really good visit and dinner and I am glad I didn’t ruin it for myself, for M, or for my in-laws by stewing in frustration inside.

All I can do is try to keep making subtle changes, and choose to react differently. Choose to not react instantly, but to pause first, then think/act/speak.

And along with this goal? This sentiment…don’t try to be perfect, just try to be better than yesterday. Yes, a million times yes. 


10 thoughts on “Lessons in patience…and pausing.

  1. I’m so glad you tried to roll with it. Stressing yourself out means you’re not going to be able to enjoy the company at all. Who cares if the house isn’t perfect or you have to throw together something on the fly, sometimes it’s moments like that that end up better than anything you plan and prep for.

    1. Well, exactly. Why get all anxious and stressed about it and NOT enjoy any of it?! It ended up being a really good time and I am glad I didn’t run it for myself or anyone else.

  2. So I think you should come stay with us for a week. For instance, we had plans changed not once not twice but about four times in four days. I prepared for athletes or vegan to stay with us, but then plans changed of course. So we ate the vegan food I had bought for them. Then last minute weather delayed them, and they ended up having to come over and stay with us. I only had gf toast and hummus left. Yep that’s what they got. But they were happy. True story

    1. Ya know, I think that would do me a WORLD of good!! You two are the king and queen of rolling with it!! I NEED more of that in my life. off to go look at flights 😉 kidding, but not really hehe. wow, what a story, that is awesome. thank you for sharing friend xoxo.

  3. Oh I can totally relate to this. I *think* that I’m all go-with-the-flow/hey-I-teach-yoga but ha! total opposite (which also reminds me that I need to email you back!!). It’s definitely something that I need and want to work on. I agree with Heather that stressing about company means it’s harder to enjoy the company. PS – so freaking happy to hear about your vision!!! Yahoo!

    1. hahahha right?! the easy-does-it-yoga-instructor who’s reallllly actually type A! GASP!!! 😉 And now I really hope I didn’t stress YOU out for your visit! I promise I won’t be all anxious for your visit 😉

  4. Brilliant! I love to read when my friends are learning about themselves and adjusting to what life hands them. Very proud of you for taking care of yourself!

    (And 20/40?! I couldn’t imagine! I’m blind as a bat!)

    1. It’s really been so eye-opening, no pun intended 😉 HOW deep seated some of these habits I have!! 20/40 is amazing!! crazy, right? us blind as a bats are the only ones that ‘get’ it 😉

    1. it REALLY is. you KNOW me and how hard this is, so I will take that pat on the back…can I turn it into an asslap though? 😉 XO

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