Tag Archives: humor

Random conversations with M: part III

As I mentioned in last week’s quirks post, M is downright hilarious. And sometimes, he just comes out with the funniest things, so I try to collect them and share them (as I linked to a few in my quirks post back to as well!), because they are (at least to me!) that funny and it sheds a little light into him and of the many reasons I love him so much (insert *gag* mushville here, I know!)

Remarking when I was playing Sunshine in Words with Friends (when he saw how badly she was crushing me!!)Are you even trying to play? Dude, she is kicking your ass. (um, no shit, Sherlock!)

When stuck behind a school bus stopping every 2 minutes: Ya know, this is why we have a child obesity problem. Kids don’t have to walk to school anymore. The buses stop at every Goddamn house and pick them up. They don’t even have to congregate at a bus stop. Kids should be walking to school, in the rain and the snow, carrying their book bags and pulling a donkey. Then we’d have no child obesity and no traffic! (end rant)

When discussing dinner options for tonight (since we’ll eat separately as I am teaching at barre n9ne): Me: I’ll probably just make a quick veggie stir fry with chicken sausage. I’ll leave the rest for you to make however you want, since I know you won’t want nearly as many veggies as me. M: Yes, I do. I’ll make mine with potatoes and beans! Me: those aren’t even vegetables. Those are starches. M: Beans are vegetables! So are potatoes. *shakes head*

Seeing a child fall at the grocery store and bump his head on a shelf: Kids bump their heads all the time. It’s not like it’s edged with saws and flames and rimmed with cocaine. (he always knows how to take something, make it funny…and then go one more step leap to make it inappropriate!)

On Facebook: Facebook is so boring now. I don’t care what you did today or that you are having a good day. (yet he comes out with the funniest stuff on Facebook sometimes, like this one: “Hi, can I have a trenta iced americano?” “sorry, we can’t make that.” “Ok, how about I order a iced venti americano and you just add a few shots to it?” “No, its against corporate’s policy?” Oh no, has starbucks grown a conscience or am I just being racially profiled?) <–hahaha.

On the phone with his parents (this is basically the same convo he has with them everysinglenight): Hi mom. How’s it going? (pause) What did you guys do today? (pause) Oh, the exciting times of the retired. Wild and crazy kids. (pause, laughs). How are you feeling? (I always giggle at this one – even polite with the fam!). Okay, let me talk to dad. (repeat same convo).

 Over dinner with me: What did you do at work today? Anything fun and/or exciting? How are you feeling? How was work today? (me: I just told you what I did today, you just asked me. M: No, I didn’t. I asked WHAT you did at work today and then HOW was your day. Me: shakes head.)

😉

Hope you enjoyed this little installment of random conversations with M. These always make me giggle. I just need to write down his priceless comments when he says them more often. It could be a weekly post 😉

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M’s quirks.

I’ve had a collection of quirks and funny things I love about M swirling in my mind and I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorites, as little snippets into who he is and the little things he does that makes me love him just so very much. (some other of my favorites about M can be found here and here!)

He tries so hard to be helpful in the kitchen. He offers to chop up veggies for dinner but then either a) chops up like, half an onion and two brussels sprouts (which, as a veggie hoarder, we know that will not be NEARLY enough for just *me* for dinner, let alone him!) or b) chops them up and half of it falls on the floor. Hello, messes and me don’t mix 😉 OR, he will unload the dishwasher and forget he’s doing it and leave half the stuff on the counter (or still IN the dishwasher), or put everything in weird spots. cups where plates go, bowls where cups go, etc.  (and he also loves to leave random cabinet doors open, which is a ‘new’ one for him. I swear I told him that Scott does it, my brother in law, and ever since, he’s started doing it!)

He is full of random information. Like, did you know if 1 wasp was in a fight with 8 bees, the wasp would wind? No? Me either. Apparently wasps have ‘armour’ that they can suffocate bees with. AND they don’t die when they sting! (note to self: stay away from wasps!!)

He can be very ‘formal’ with people. 9 times out of 10, when we hang with my sister Jess and Scott, he shakes Scott’s hand and says ‘hi Scott, how are you doing? it’s nice to see you again!’ and then goes to Jess and I swear, ALMOST shakes her hand too. Um, really? We hang out, like EVERY weekend together. This isn’t a hand-shaking, how-have-you-been kind of group. But it’s an endearing and polite quality that I also LOVE about him. It was probably actually one of the biggest things I fell in love with him for, actually…when he met my grandparents, he was so respectful, engaging and conversational, yet also very polite. *swoon*. I just crack up when he goes into that ‘mode’ in situations where he doesn’t need to (Samantha knows all about this one heehee!)

His ratio of meat and potatoes to vegetables is highly off. If it were up to him, he’d eat potatoes (and call them a vegetable, even though I call them a starch! technically a veggie, but not REALLY IMHO!) and meat or fish. Anytime he cooks dinner (and he’s a GOOD cook, mind you), he will (to my point above about chopping veggies!) literally saute a few mushrooms and onions and call that ‘enough.’ (he clearly still doesn’t realize my love affair with mounds of veggies – at least 2/3 of my plate, to meat and potato ratio!).

His love of peanut butter rivals mine AND Jess’ combined. Seriously. We go through at LEAST one jar per week of peanut butter (with the amount of oatmeal I make for both of us, plus the amount he dumps into his protein shakes, it’s alarming!).

He loves the History Channel. Dude. G-e-e-k. Really? 😉

He can’t sit still. He honestly does not know what to do with himself now that his dissertation is over. He used to not be able to sleep because he’d be thinking of his paper, or his patients’ from the work day, but now, he beats himself up silently for not ‘doing’ anything after work. (it’s been all of what, a week?!) His next projects in mind? Writing a book (swoon, love that he writes!), blogging more, and working on his semi-defunct web site.

He is, by far, the funniest man I have ever met. And we laugh at the most inane things, and always at the most random times. Like, in the shower (because yes – TMI – but we shower together just about every day. Helps that we have a huge garden-style tub, so there’s lots of room in there! It’s sort of our ‘us time’ each morning before we start our workdays, where we chat, laugh and cuddle), we have had some of the most hilarious conversations I have ever heard.

He tells me he loves me, that I am beautiful, and that he is the luckiest man alive just about every day. Enough said. This is a quirk that will.never.get.old. ❤

~~

This was a really fun and special post for me…because sometimes, the collection of random thoughts and little things we love about our partners are some of the most important, yet seemingly innocuous things. I may very well have just fallen in love with him a little bit more, just by writing this (write one about your partner and you’ll see what I mean!). <–serious mush-ville alert, I realize. ❤

OATT: the travel edition.

Editor’s note: for an OATT 101, please visit my sister’s blog post who so eloquently defined all there is to overthinking syndrome…in other words, overthinking-all-the-time (OATT)!

There is a serious case of OATT going on up in here and it always a) amazes me given how often I do travel, how much of a stresscase I am leading into a trip and b) makes me realize how out of practice I am from the days (just around this time last year, in fact!) from chronic work traveling (like, twice a month trips to Cali, chronic!). 

First of all, I always get into stresscase mode the day I travel, especially if I am working a partial day and then traveling mid-afternoon (like today) because I a) always feel like I’m not fully packed (and hence, have to repack my bag at least twice to ensure I have in fact, packed everything – for a two day trip, mind you!) and b) rushed to cram in as much work as possible while also ensuring a workout, plenty of fluids and my most-missed meals have been enjoyed (read: oatmeal, chobani and a big ass salad or one of my favorite wraps crammed with turkey, sprouts, laughing cow and spinach). 

So you better believe I did all of these things today…and even taught a barre method class at 7 am (side note: I love teaching back to back classes two days in a row, makes me feel fresh and ready to go!). And enjoyed breakfast (OATMEAL!) with M (he works at 11 on Tuesdays, working in our favor for some extra time together!). And aforementioned wrap. And got work done. And re-packed.  And even put little sticky notes all over the house for M to find (one particular one in his laptop telling him to knock ’em dead tomorrow at his dissertation defense! Right next to the new David Yurman cufflinks I gave him at dinner last night. Making me feel less like the worst girlfriend in the world for being away when he defends!).

Dude. I am rambling up a storm over here. What’s with all the lists (a, b, c) and parentheticals?! <–and yes, I just said parenthetical, what of it?

(must be OATT)

moving on.

After OATT attack #1, enter even bigger OATT attack #2. 

What and where to eat tonight when I land in Chicago. See, I land at sort of a weird time. 7 pm CT (leaving at 5 pm ET today). It’s not dinner time here, and it’s past dinner time in my brain by the time I arrive (and get situated at my hotel, pushing 8 pm CT, and 9, ‘in my brain.’). So, what to eat? Do I grab something at the airport when I arrive? Do I bring something with me from the airport in Boston (that’s already a fail, since the terminal I am in – which I didn’t realize at the outset of this OATT – has NO food except for stupid snackie things)? Do I see what’s around my hotel when I get there?

I played each of these out in my head. Option A – meh, airport food, not a fan. Option B – see option A. But then what? What’s around my hotel?? Well, after doing a bazillion google searches, yelp searches and consulting pal Amber (who I get to meet tomorrow!!), I found a couple of possibilities. I got excited. But then realized that 2 of the 3 top contenders closed at 8 pm. How lame is that?! Hmmph. Now what?! I seriously went back and forth, google’d more places, walking distances etc. I still have aforementioned sushi places in mind, but now, I go back to my original (undocumented thought)…perhaps I’ll just keep it simple and order room service or Starbucks (which I realized after all this, is IN my hotel!!).

And save sushi for tomorrow night. Why tomorrow night? Because tomorrow night I am on my own at 5 once day one of the conference I’m going to ends. I have a few locals I may meet up with, but I am hedging a bit only because I may want to do something I still have yet to do on my travel bucket list. Eat dinner by myself. At a restaurant. So, of all the overthinking I am doing at this very moment, that is, quite possibly the only thing I pretty much maybe might know for sure.

Go, figure, right?

I hope you enjoyed this edition of OATT: the travel edition.

(I almost added in my OATTing about what workouts I want to do while I’m in Chicago, but this was getting long enough as it is and I am pretty sure ya’ll would think I am the queen overthinker if I went into THAT ping pong OATT case!! And let’s just say that there is spinning involved, running and MAYBE even a local barre studio!!)

A 5 mile detour.

*I haven’t been blogging much on the weekend lately, but I just had to get this one out there…hysterical, really. In hindsight, anyway. Enjoy!**

I woke up this morning and said to M…man, I’m so glad I’m not running 12.5 miles this morning like Jess and Scott are! (while I did really enjoy my half marathon training, I am loving not having a ‘scheduled’ mileage to run and no ‘long runs’ either, just long enough – 6-7 at most – to feel great!).

(that will become quite ironic as we’ll later find out…)

It was a simply gorgeous morning for a run, hit about 82 degrees today – unheard of in October – and was about 60 when we set out, and the air was a perfect temperature for my finicky lungs. I was wearing my ‘I heart sweat’ top a la Ali on the Run and was feeling really good about the run. I even told M I thought we were for sure in for a good run (for ME to say that is huge, since I usually get a little anxious…something I’m working on!).

Off we went on our favorite 6-ish mile route. The sun was out, my lungs were feeling good. A little tight at times, but I got through the spots where I usually walk after a hill (go me!) and we kept trucking. At the fork in the road where we usually bear right towards the last half of our run, I suggested we bear left and go a slightly different way back (that, theoretically, would take us parallel to the road we usually run on, and we’d take a right up a side street to cut back to the end of our route).

That was mistake #1.

This route was so pretty, we were really happy with the detour and kept going, admiring some great houses, daydreaming about the ones we’d love to ‘have’ (ya know, cuz if we walked up to their front door and said ‘can we have your house?’ they’d *of course* say yes!), etc. I kept looking for the side street I thought would take us back home, estimating approximately how far we’d run parallel to our regular route. I never saw another road, so we kept going, puzzled. Figured there must be a loop back around, because naturally, why wouldn’t there be? Right?

This was mistake #2.

We kept going. Bore right onto a street I hadn’t heard of, and M pulled out his GPS on his phone (he wanted to go left, for the record, which still would have been wrong. Just saying.). He found where we were in relation to home, and thought we should turn back, because we weren’t going the right way. And I saw up ahead a road that said [our street name] Junction Road. I figured well, duh, that should mean it is the JUNCTION to our street, right? RIGHT?!

This was mistake #3.

We kept going, to my insistence. M was shaking his head and thought we were going the wrong way. I heard highway noise, and figured we WERE in the right direction since our place is near-ish the highway.

This was mistake #4.

We kept going, and going, and going. Until M finally pulled his GPS out again to see where we were. Um, yeah. We were in a huge circular industrial park and were literally just running the perimeter of it, and would end up in a big circle. NOT home.  We ran 4.5 miles OUT of our way, rather than home. And the only way back? Backtracking another 4.5 miles to home.

This was mistake #5. Fail. Fail. Fail.

I was not a happy camper. I was bitching and moaning and being a ‘sally’ as M called me. And I was, I fully admit that. But then I realized, well, ya know what? We are out here, it’s a gorgeous day, and I am actually running pretty good, so let’s just make the best of it, shall we?

And that we did. We did some run/walking at points, because honestly, my back and hamstrings were on fire. We had not brought water or any shot blox because we were anticipating a 6 mile run…not this huge detour of a run that we ended up at.

Almost two hours later, we walked in the door and collapsed. Downed water. Started to laugh at our monster fail. A 5 mile detour. Our grand total ‘6 mile run’ turned int0 an 11.11 mile run!! Hello, long ass run I totally wasn’t prepared for (and now makes that statement of ‘man, I’m glad I am not running 12.5 miles today a tad bit ironic, no?!)

But hey, I guess it proves that I still got it, and that half marathon re-do I keep talking about may not be that far in the future. And it also means I’m going to thoroughly enjoy the rest of this evening (after a fun afternoon apple picking and a short trip to the mall!). Hope you got a laugh out of this…and enjoy the rest of your weekends. Cheers, friends!

Random conversations with M: Part II

Join me for another edition of random conversations with M (Part II)…these are some of the reasons why I love him so much…his random conversations, his ridiculously funny sense of humor and general good naturedness. He always knows how to make me not only smile but laugh so hard my stomach hurts. That, my friends, is love.

~~

Scene: laying on the couch before dinner.

M: Would you rather eat raw chicken or raw beef?

Me: *looking at him strangely* Eww. But, um, probably beef. Raw chicken skeeves me out more.

M: Would you rather eat raw pork or raw lamb?

Me: *nodding…okay, so this is a game we’re playing huh?* Um, pork (no rhyme or reason on that one!)

M: Would you rather eat raw fish or human meat?

Me: *looking at him rather grossly* Eww. raw fish *gag*

M: Would you rather eat 8 bees or an old man’s testicles?

Me: *Laughing in hysterics at this point* How did we go from normal meats to a random 8 bees and old man balls?!

~~

Scene: during dinner on Friday night.

M: *picking up a random piece crumb off the table (no, his table isn’t dirty, but sometimes sure, there are leftover crumbs on the table!), looking at it, and at the perfect moment it falls directly into his plate*

Me: *laughing again, hysterically.* Wow, you couldn’t have timed that any better! picking up the random piece of food and where does it fall? Smack dab into your dinner and now you can’t find it!

M: *not amused* Ha-ha, very funny. Seriously, though, have you ever picked up what you thought was, say, leftover piece of goat cheese on the counter and ate it, thinking it was leftover goat cheese (just using goat cheese as an example) and then thinking, as you are chewing…thhhat wasn’t goat cheese!

Me: *laughing hysterically* Um, no. I’d never pick some random crumb off the counter and eat it! That’s gross!

M: *continues to search his plate for said random crumb he dropped into his dinner*

~~

As I write this,  I seriously hope it sounds as funny as it was at the time and this isn’t one of those ‘oh, you had to be there’ moments.

~~

This weekend has blown by so fast, but it’s been a goody, complete with our first visit ‘upta camp’ in Maine to help with some camp repairs and painting and a quick visit with the grandparents. It was also M’s first trip up to the lake and I was so excited to share it with him. I just know this summer ‘upta camp’ is going to be one of the best and to share it with him will make it that much sweeter. Happy Sunday, friends.