Tag Archives: wedding

Where our story continues…the details.

It has been so much fun sharing the details (read them here here and here) of our wedding, finally, after keeping them largely quiet for so long! I thought I would share some fun details from our wedding week fun 🙂

~~

Special wine glasses for our guests (I freaked out when I realized two days before we left that I had neglected to do ANYTHING for those that came on our trip, but thanks to etsy and an awesome seller that was able to overnight these to the house we rented at a really reasonable price, we made it happen!)

"When wine enlivens the heart, may friendship surround the table" - the most perfect and fitting quote ever!
“When wine enlivens the heart, may friendship surround the table” – the most perfect and fitting quote ever!

My something borrowed, something new and something blue? A bracelet my sister Jess wore when she got married nine years ago, from my mom (doubling as ‘something old’ because I forgot the necklace my Nonna gave me years ago, that I intended to wrap around flowers, but as I ended up deciding against flowers anyway, it worked!), something new, the Alex and Ani bracelet I wore on the right arm, and my something blue? My most fabulous shoes of course 🙂

Since it was going to be about a bazillion degrees out (clocked in as the hottest day of our entire 10 day trip – 105 degrees! figures, right?), I planned ahead and bought a cute white sundress and white bikini. I think it is one of my favorite bathing suits this summer! Why not wear white all summer right?

collage

And the bachelorette-but-I-didn’t-call-it-a-bachelorette party? I hashtagged it #shenanigans and it would the most fun night ever…complete with the most epic hangover of my entire life. But seriously worth it. (note to self: champagne and prosecco give a MEAN HANGOVER!! Tasting room manager at one of our fave tasting rooms gave me a tip: look for small bubbles! the bigger the bubbles the bigger the hangover. Noted.) We stayed in Boston, gussied ourselves up and enjoyed an evening of dinner, drinks, and girly girl time. It was fabulous. I LOVE this picture of us all at the Liberty Hotel!

bachAnd finally? Our honeymoon. No, our trip was not our honeymoon 😉 Go big or go home, right? We booked that for October 2014 (a mere 18 months away…!) in St. Lucia. This way, we extend the fun and excitement, celebrate not only our one year (plus!) or marriage, but also BOTH of our 35(!!!!)th birthdays! (since we were born 3 days apart and all). We are very excited!!

So, there you have it, a few more details for the most perfect 10 days ever, and the most amazing and incredible start to our marriage that I could have ever asked for. Feeling loved a million times over. ❤

Where our story continues…M’s perspective.

M decided to write his own blog on our marriage, and with his permission, I am sharing it here for you all. Reading through this brought tears to my eyes…and though I am not one to put much behind a palm reader, but it is pretty incredible, isn’t it? I continue to feel so blessed, incredibly loved, and connected to M, as we begin our walk through marriage, it is the most settling, happy feeling I have ever encountered. Life has led me – and us – here, to this very place, and I couldn’t be happier. ❤

Enjoy.

~~

You know, I’ve never doubted for a second that life is above all things unpredictable.  You live, you die….everything including happiness is optional.  If you told me three years ago that I’d be happily re-married to the absolute love of my life, I would have told you you were looney tunes.  I had given up. I figured “one strike, and you’re out!” I remember going to a palm reader at a haunted house the October after my separation from my ex and the person told me I’d be remarried within 5 years. I should have saved her business card for a rainy day. Anyways…and then, it happened. I went from down and out, single, battered and bruised…to back on top (TWSS) feeling like I’m on top of the world.

She’s truly the love of my life.  We’re the best of friends and companions, the best of lovers, we love so much of the same things, and our families love the both of us. Outside of marrying the absolute best woman in the whole wide world, I’ve also inherited the best brother and sister-in-law combo that a guy could ask for. As this would be both our second marriages, we opted for a small, intimate engagement with close friends in wine country. Close friends, wine, marriage… kinda like peanut butter, jelly, and bread, right????

The scene plays over and over in my head.  She was so beautiful in her wedding dress as she is always beautiful no matter what. So what if it was 110 degree at the top of an arid, grassy hill.  The view was amazing! And as our close friends watched we recited our vows. Now, I’ve always been a procrastinator and my motto always has been “why do calmly today what you can rush through like an absolute maniac tomorrow” but I actually had worked on these vows for quite some time.  In fact, what I recited was version 7. It seemed fitting. I knew it was right because reading them to myself actually evoked a deep emotional response, something that for me is very difficult to do.

Our good friend, Jim, was our JP and he married us. When it was my turn I started to recite my vows and had to pause a few  times to make sure I could go on. I looked at the page, I read, but, honestly, I didn’t look at the page for a lot of it, because a lot of it came from deep within my heart.

I told her that when I said “I love you” I was making her a promise. I promised to love her forever. I promised to keep her safe. I promised to respect her. I promised to stand with her when the world seemed against her. I promised to support her in every way. I promised that her life would be mine and vice versa. I promised to hold her tight, to make her laugh, to hold her hand…I promised I would be her’s if she’d be mine (taken from Mumford and Sons)…I promised I would support her through anything she wanted to do with her Barre9 carreer, and, yes, her LuluLemon habit. But ultimately I told her that I felt like I was the luckiest man in the world….because she loved me back. And I truly still feel that way. I always will

And, then, that was it. We kissed. Everyone clapped. We all smiled. It was a special day. A day I won’t soon forget. One time, about a year ago, she planned this elaborate surprise party for me. I give her credit, it was awesome. I walked into our old apartment…SURPRISE!!!!! Everyone was there….everyone important to me. Friends from every circle intermingling, talking, laughing, mixing together….it was, what I truly believe, what heaven would be like. But, I was wrong….heaven wouldn’t be that. Heaven would be all those people, our families…..in wine country, on that hill…laughing, talking, just being together. Not a worry in the world, just love, innocence, safety, and total utter satisfaction.

I hope I get there….. someday.

<3 his face here.

Where our story continues…my perspective.

I thought it would be special to share the story of our marriage from each of our perspectives. M has agreed to write his own post on his perspective of our wedding, too. For starters, here are mine…

~~

Deciding to marry semi-secretly, privately, and quietly was something we almost knew we wanted to do from the day M proposed. I always joked with M that I never got the ‘wedding gene’ and he is lucky I am so even keeled about the whole thing (wink), but in honesty, we *both* shared a similar view, so it did not take a lot of convincing.

It all began last year, on our annual ‘pilgrimage’ to Healdsburg, where we were in the gardens at the house we rented, and M wrapped his arms around me from behind, and whispered in my ear…wouldn’t it be awesome to get married here? Like, right here? We weren’t even engaged yet, but in that moment, everything fell away and I just knew…if the stars aligned and we were going to marry, it would be right there, in Healdsburg.

At the time, it felt like a pipe dream.

And when M proposed a few months later, the thought crept back in. At first, I had started warming up to the idea of a small ceremony by the water where I grew up (30 mins from where we live now), or at a park, or on a beach, but the more we looked into locations, the less excited I got, and the more I wanted to break out in hives thinking about the stress of hosting a wedding. When we added up ‘just family and close friends,’ the list topped 50, and to me, that *was* a wedding and a wedding, in the traditional sense was not what either of us wanted for ourselves. To me, the thought of speaking the most personal and sacred vows in front of so many people felt daunting, far too public, and not personal. I realize my views are narrow here, and most people love bigger weddings, so if you are shaking your heads, believe me, I understand!! I love *going* to weddings. I love celebrating. But in this instance, it was simply not what we wanted.

So we landed back on Healdsburg. And the idea excited us. It just felt right. But  we also considered everything logistically and wondered…could we really pull this off? How would we do it? How would we figure out who to invite? And *would* we invite people? The last question being the toughest. We went back and forth with a lot of ideas, but after much consideration, we realized what we truly wanted was to re-live our trip last year, and just ‘throw in’ a short wedding while we were there. We just had an incredible time last year, and we didn’t want a lot of fanfare, we didn’t want to complicate it by feeling like we were ‘hosting’ family and friends that came, and we also didn’t want to burden anyone with the expense of attending a wedding 3,000 miles away. Since we had already planned this very trip for June, the starts started to align and we pulled the trigger.

We chose June 30 to get married, giving us a day-ish to settle in, do a little mini ‘rehearsal’ dinner type celebration (the most epic wine and food pairing ever, I might add, pulled off by my sister Jess!) and then get married on June 30th, giving us the remainder of the week to celebrate, enjoy and recharge. We shared our plan with family and friends, who were supportive and understanding, for the most part. One of the hardest parts for me, was knowing that this decision to marry far away would mean my sister Jen would likely not be able to attend, given my 2+ year old niece. We celebrated quite a bit beforehand, tied in FaceTime while we were away (we attempted to FaceTime her during the wedding, but the reception was too shoddy), but knowing she was there in spirit, and in heart, and in bracelet (sister bracelets we each wore from Alex and Ani, thank you sisters!!), meant the world to me.

And finally, our decision to keep our wedding largely quiet until we married? Just for fun. We liked the surprise aspect of it and seeing the excitement of it all unfold as we texted, tweeted, Facebook’d and instagram’ed details after was simply amazing 🙂 (do you have us a little now for keeping it a secret?! it was so fun!!)

We made what some may think was a hard decision…but for us, it felt the most natural and ‘us’ in respecting and honoring what *we* wanted to do most, and not what anyone else would have considered. And the day itself? Was the most relaxed, fun, happy, and emotional day of my life. I turned to M last night as we were ‘reliving’ the week through pictures and said that the wedding and the week felt like an out-of-body experience…and he nodded in agreement. It was just surreal. Perfect. Beautiful. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about our day, not even the 105 degree temperatures.

A wedding should represent the two that are marrying and our wedding represented us to a “T’ – the way it is meant to be. I sit here feeling incredibly blessed, loved, and more settled than I have ever felt. Being M’s wife (wife!!), sharing our lives together, for the rest of our lives.

As part of our vows said (I will share them in full in a later post):

“I am giving you my hand to hold, and my life to keep, from this day forward, in this world, and into the next.”

ring M

The thing about planning.

Here’s the thing about planning.

I’m really good at it.

When I overplan myself.

When I plan something without bothering to consult with M…and it involves him (wouldn’t be so bad and overplanner of me if I had at least filled him in first, no?).

When I plan my day, my workouts, my eats. <-no seriously, I AM good at this, all joking aside hehe.

When I plan myself into a corner and don’t enjoy a damn thing I planned because I am so overplanned.

See? I’m really good at planning.

(insert hint of sarcasm here). 

This is why I am trying to UNplan as much as possible these days. To simplify. To allow for presence. Growth. Change. Progress. 

However.

But, here’s the thing.

I’ll fill you in on a little secret.

Despite how much of a planner I am, I actually hate planning. 

At least planning one thing. Marrying M. (notice I didn’t say ‘a wedding?’)

It’s no secret that we both want something small. Personal. As un-wedding-like as possible (but with a few frills, because let’s face it, I am somewhat of a girlie girl deep down).

But what that *is* has been so hard to figure out. And balance with what our families may want. What our friends may want. But ultimately? It goes back to what WE want. And whenever I sit down to talk about ideas, with M, with my sisters, with some friends, I end up all over the place.I get anxious. I stress.  I think I want one thing. And then I think I want another. And then I start to go down a path with one idea and realize there’s far too much planning involved and with each step, it’s becoming something unrecognizable, something in my heart that I don’t want. And then I am back to square one.

And that  makes me realize one thing: if it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.  Being uber planned for this, marrying the man truly of my dreams, makes me want to go screaming for the hills (with M in tow, of course).  So what’s the point??

So what does this rambling mean? Well. I am truthfully not sure.

Except for one thing.

I think I – we – need to do what is set in our hearts and disregard the opinion and wishes of everyone except for what we want. And that may sound selfish in a way, I think marriage and the way in which you celebrate uniting your lives together is such a personal one. And one that I don’t want to do in a way that appeases everyone, that is ‘everything to everyone’…except for us, except for what we want. So for the first time, I am relinquishing the ‘planner’ inclination in me, I am not going to rail against it anymore, and I am just going to follow my heart. We will do this the way we envision, taking no opinion into consideration except for our own.

Because, let’s face it, at the end of the day? When it comes down to it? It’s our day. And whatever form it takes shape as, it’ll scream US. And that’s all that matters. Whenever that may be 😉 All I know for sure is this: I an embracing the current season of my life and while I ‘can’t wait’ to officially unite our lives together, as M reminded me this morning as he wrapped his arms around me? ‘we already are married, as far as I am concerned. I promise to love you forever and never let you down.’

swoon.