Meeting M quite simply life-changing for me, and every day over the last 7+ months has honestly been some of the best months of my life, in many ways because of what we’ve cultivated, what I’ve learned about myself in the process, and falling in love, for the very first time in more than 10 years.
Yea, I guess you could say the last 7 months with M have been life-changing and life-defining, huh?
So, for those of you that are new to my story and didn’t catch the beginnings of our story, I thought I would do a ‘throwbacks‘ post on some of my favorite points from past posts from my old blog, for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.
(first, some background: we met via match.com in September. It was my last-ditch effort to try match.com one more time and he was one of the first people I emailed. I felt the promise then, as we had very similar views, drive, and pasts – both divorced, both 30 and born days apart no less, both living happy, single lives, but wanting to finally share that with someone. He had just joined match.com days prior and I was the first person to email him…I’d say he got some beginner’s luck, huh? ;-))
our first date…swoon:
That about sums about my date with M.
Why was it swoon-worthy?
…he has a touch of chivalry, which I dig. As we walked to our table, I walked first, he lightly touched my back. For some reason, I *love* that. And, he not only told me I looked “great” when we met, when we “cheers’d” over a glass of wine, he then told me “you look amazing, by the way.” *swoon*
…he seems really genuine, nice, and funny. We had a very engaging, laughter-filled, honest conversation that lasted four hours. Naturally. Flowed.
…we share a lot of the same outlooks on life – simplicity, driven, happy, independent…but also looking to share that life with someone special.
…he already seems to dig me as much as I dig him. The dig factor. I can feel it, without a doubt.
All swoon-worthy attributes (and when I say swoon-worthy, I don’t just mean that in a chemistry-related way, though I definitely felt chemistry), I mean it also in a “yes! This is what I have been looking for!” I feel the potential pretty strongly and I can’t honestly remember feeling it quite so soon or so strongly right away.
Yea, that’s what it’s supposed to feel like. What I’ve been looking for.
our second date…
that moment when you just know…
…right after he kissed me, our eyes locked, he smiled (as did I) and I just knew.
This was something different, the connection was there, and it almost felt magical.
Last night’s date with M was absolutely amazing and I seriously had difficulty sleeping last night because it was that good.
Moments of happiness…
…being greeted at the door with flowers. *swoon*
…looking across the table on the patio on an Indian Summer evening, and having a real conversation about my day (and his) and seeing that he “gets” it.
…and, looking across the table and seeing nothing but warmth and caring in his eyes. And so surely having the same feeling right back.
…relaxing over a glass of petit syrah (one of my favorites), talking about what we would NOT do again in a next relationship and what we’ve learned from our marriages past. And nodding and nodding and agreeing – like whoa – yes, that’s exactly how I feel too.
…realizing that it’s only been two weeks – two weeks – and everything feels exactly the way it should feel with the “right” one (and whether that’s “right” for now or “right” forever – only time will tell, and I know that as does he).
…knowing that after just two weeks…it’s only going to get better from here.
When we became “official:”
Like M. My boyfriend.
Yep, it’s officially official.
He’s utterly amazing. The way he looks at me, the way he makes me feel, the way I feel when I am with him. More than alive. Like “home.” Happy, like whoa.
Simply put, it’s life amplified when I am with him.
When M told me that he loved me:
“How would you feel if I told you that I love you?”
…uttered by M on the morning of our “reunion” two and a half weeks in the making.
Wow. Um, wow.
My first split-second thought? “But I didn’t do anything…I’ve just been me!”
He loves me for who I am, every day. Wow, really, how did I stumble upon something so utterly close-to-perfect as this? At what feels like exactly the right moment? Blessed.
My second split-second thought? Smiling, as he said “I thought about holding back, I hope it’s not too soon, but as I thought about it in Aruba, I haven’t held back at all so far, so I figured I would just go for it.” My response was “I’m close…I’m falling…close to the edge of the mountain.”
He smiled and kissed me. He was content with that response. He didn’t expect me to immediately say it back.
When I first told M I loved him:
…when you see qualities you have always wanted in someone – devotion, dedication, perspective, genuineness.
defining the feeling.
…when you find yourself thinking ahead to holidays and vacations and the future.
defining the feeling.
…when there is no place better than being in their arms, or looking into their eyes and seeing the feeling mimicked in your eyes.
defining the feeling.
…when it’s on the tip of your tongue, you reiterate it in your brain, and it’s in everything that you do.
defining the feeling.
…when you look into their eyes and see home.
what is the feeling? It’s love.
That’s right…when M whispered into my ear as he tends to at least once a night when I see him “I love you,” I finally said it back.
From my “meet M” post where he answered some questions from bloggy readers:
What do you see in my sister that made you fall for her (I mean, I KNOW what makes her awesome, she’s hot stuff, super smart, wicked funny, has a nice ass, a great catch all in all). But I want to know what did it for you.
Well Jess, I think you’ve done all the work for me on that one! I think that the outward things, like beauty and intelligence, not just physically and inward beauty, patience, hot body too, sure, but ultimately it’s what is on the inside. It’s the feeling I get when I look into your eyes, the emotion I feel when I am with you and in my arms. The feeling of excitement I get when I think about the future together. (aww…)
Meeting M’s parents, just about a month into our relationship was huge for me. And now, I realize just how significant it was, in hindsight. M actually told me this weekend that I am the only one he ever introduced to his parents when he was dating. Why? Because he wanted to protect them, in a way, from meeting someone he was dating if he didn’t feel it would be long-term (in case they liked her etc), and until he felt ready. I love that. Respect for them too. An excerpt from that post, on Thanksgiving:
From there? I headed back home and to M’s parents’ house for dessert. I was slightly nervous as his uncle and brother and sister-in-law were there too and I wanted it to be good and fun and natural and not awkward. And it was! I was welcomed by his father who said “there she is! come in! come in!” which for some reason, made me smile and feel so happy. My heart swelled. I felt welcomed. Thankful.
Waking up this morning, M said my coming last night meant the world to him. He was so happy and said he can tell his family really likes me. That meant the world to me. I don’t think he is “used to” having someone in his life that wants to spend time with him and his family (perhaps his ex didn’t…), so when he says these things, I am still surprised, because of course I want to share these times with him. Isn’t that what love is all about? Thankful.
When I asked M what the one thing he loved most about me was, I wasn’t expecting the response I got.
Him: “I love so many things about you. Do I have to pick one?”
Me: Blushing. “Yes.”
Him: “I love your independence.”
Me: “Really?” That’s what you love most? Wow.”
…and not that I don’t agree that I am independent. I guess I didn’t expect for it to be that obvious that I *am* independent or for him to love that so much about me. But he does. And that means so much to me. Because he respects my routine (yet nudges me to let go just a little bit), he respects my need for a healthy balance of me time, friend time, and time spent with him. And he just genuinely loves me for me.
There you have it…some snippets from our first days together and falling in love. For those who are single…just know that there truly is that person out there…I firmly believe it because I am living proof.
Reading through these posts and seeing our story unfold makes me smile, it puts tears in my eyes, but mostly, it makes my heart burst with happiness and blessedness. I’m truly blessed to have met a man that loves me for me, allows me to be me (and I him), makes life feel amplified when I am with him (and even when I’m not) and has made me believe in love, that deep, deep love that doesn’t come around too often. We’ve got it, I feel it every day and I’ve never been prouder to say, I love him, with all of my heart.