Tag Archives: self-worth

On true love, and the a-ha realization of self-worth.

A good friend of mine – who shall remain nameless (by intent) – has gone through a bit of a rollercoaster in her life, realizing that she is worth more than her many years long relationship with her (now) ex, and in hearing her gush about just how happy she is, and how glad she is that she made the decision to let go of a relationship she invested so much in, to take a chance on what she hoped would be true love, I just had to share her story.

It truly couldn’t have hit my inbox at a better time – Valentine’s Day (I know, cheesy, but you know I’m puppies and rainbows!) and it couldn’t be a more inspiring story that love *is* out there, even for those that have little (or lost) hope, that question if they’ve already used up that ‘love’ chit in life and never will find someone that will make them feel whole again, and so I asked her to share her story with us, to hopefully give those of you that fit this description hope that it *is* there, it *will* happen, and more often than not? It’ll hit you upside the head when you least expect it. But you’ll look back and realize that the tears, sadness, frustration and anger were all worth it. For true, validating, self-worthy love….the only love we are all worth having. 

Enjoy…and thank you friend, for sharing your beautiful story. It gives me chills every time I read this.

***

I’ve been lucky enough to know Jo for a number of years, which means I got to see her relationship with M. progress from their first date to today, being totally in love and planning their vows.

I can remember many times watching them together, or reading about their relationship here, and being insanely happy for Jo, but also wishing that I could have that. And I remember being ashamed for those feelings, because I was dating someone (and had been for years!) who I thought I wanted to spend my life with. But I was never insanely happy with him like Jo is with M, and for a long time I thought that maybe my life just wasn’t supposed to be that way.

It took a few more years (and many insanely happy couples surrounding me!) to realize that I didn’t have everything I wanted, or deserved, in my relationship, and I finally left. At that time I booked my first trip to Europe for two weeks – one week in Paris and one week in Munich – to “find myself.” I was traveling alone during my Munich leg, and while I was really nervous, I was so excited about the opportunity to stretch myself (Jo always talks about stepping outside your comfort zone, and this was definitely it for me.)

During my travels through Munich, I met W; we randomly met through some women I met at Oktoberfest (one of them had met W’s friend the night before and were meeting up with them again – I was invited to tag along). W was funny, charming, and incredibly handsome, and I felt a natural easiness with him. Our conversation flowed easily and I did not want the conversation to end (I later learned that he felt the exact same way). We ended up leaving the restaurant we were at (it was closing), walking around Munich to find another place, and went dancing at a club. Finally, at 6 am, I had to say good night, but we agreed to meet up the next day, and when we did, I had this urge to be as close to him as possible. We spent the entire afternoon walking around Munich together, until it was time for him to catch his plane back to Paris. I don’t know what possessed me, but I invited him to fly to London in a few days to meet me for my overnight layover back to the States, and he agreed he would try to look into it. I honestly thought I would never see him again, but the next day I had an email from him saying he found a ticket and would meet me in London!

Truly.
Truly.

We spent an incredible evening in London. He brought wine and we stayed up long into the night just talking and enjoying each other’s company. The next morning we headed back to the airport, and said our goodbyes. Again, I thought I would  never hear from him again, but as soon as I touched down, I had an email from him. And that email turned into a conversation that never stopped.

I won’t bore you with the details of the next few months, but we built our relationship with constant online communication, and while it was difficult, W. always made me feel incredible, and importantly, loved. And for the first time, I had someone who wanted to make me as happy as possible. In December, W traveled to Boston to see me, and we extended that to a weekend getaway in NYC. And seeing each other again confirmed that we were absolutely crazy about each other. He ended up flying to Boston again for NYE on a last minute whim. And at the end of January, I took a last-minute trip to Paris to celebrate his 30th birthday with him, and meet his family. Somehow we just find ways to fly to see each other every few weeks.

It’s been a whirlwind relationship, but for the first time in years (maybe ever) I am insanely, ridiculously happy, and madly in love with someone who is just as madly in love with me. And I can honestly say that I now have a love that I have seen from my very good friends and their perfect matches. The key to this, I’ve come to realize, is to find someone who wants to make you as happy as you want to make them. I spent years watching my friends, wishing I had the kind of love that they had, and I spent years trying to tell myself that the compromises I was making was good enough. I realize now that I missed out on so much, but I am also so incredibly lucky to have had the experiences I had, to know and understand what I was missing from a partner, so that when I found W, I knew what I could have with him.

And isn’t that what Jo’s blog is all about? Determined to be. To be happy. To be healthy. To be loved.

THIS.
THIS.