Tag Archives: self reflection

My why.

One of Tina’s posts recently got me thinking about why I do what I do. Why I consider myself somewhat of an overachiever, why I feel like I always want to make goals and continuously work on self-improvement, both physically and mentally. It boils down to…

My Why.

Knowing the why behind what I do is what motivates me.

But also knowing how I feel after I accomplish something is what motivates me. Beyond the why. It’s the how.

Knowing how I feel after I’ve reached a goal, or observed self-improvement, whether it be a physical improvement (my run challenge, for example) or a mental one (my recent work trip that took me out of my comfort zone) or even a quasi-mental and physical one (training to be barre n9ne certified!). It all comes back to knowing who I am and what works for me in terms of change, growth and challenging myself.

But why do I do it? Why do I constantly challenge myself? Because it is truly what I am passionate about. When it comes to physical challenges and fitness, I love how I feel after I have sweated through a workout. Or realized that my flexibility is improving through begrudgingly stretching 1-2 times a day. Or finding my a-ha moment when it comes to mind-body connection during a particular ab exercise.

And the eating? I’ve honestly never felt better than when I eat for fuel rather than for fun. Eating is still fun for me – a-ha – but in a different way. Rather than eating a huge piece of cake and while sure, that may taste good, I would argue that a Dove ‘promises’ chocolate tastes just as good, if not better, with a cup of tea, coffee or yes, even a glass of wine. I’d much prefer a glass of wine and a piece of chocolate over a piece of cake. It might be a trade-off to some, to pass up the cake, but I know me. And I know my body. And I know that I will feel better and just as, if not more, satisfied with that combination. (On the flip-side of that, I am still learning to balance watching what I eat, and choosing healthy options over having days where I just want to throw caution to the wind and eat and drink more than normal. It’s a struggle, I won’t lie, sometimes. More on that later…)

And finally, the mental challenges. I consider myself somewhat of an overachiever…not a surprise, I am sure. But this overachiever status really came to light in the last few years. As I was forced to face things that scared me, that I wanted to run from, but that I had to conquer just by nature of what it was. Divorce. Something that wasn’t my choice. That pushed me out of my comfort zone. But it was also what started to teach me things I never thought I’d face or want to willingly face, either. And ever since that time, it’s like I’ve made a deal with myself. To never settle. To never slide into complacency.

My why.

…To challenge myself. Not for sake of challenging myself, but for betterment and learning.

…To focus on being the best ‘me’ I can be. Mentally, physically, emotionally. A better sister, lover, daughter, aunt, friend. 

…To maintain the life that I have built for myself. Not settling. Not sliding into complacency. Not doing to do or eating to eat. Doing with intention and purpose.

…To love myself, with flaws and with areas I struggle with. And know that facing my weaknesses will only make me stronger.

…My why. 

What is your ‘why?‘ (thank you Tina, for such an inspiring and thought-provoking post!)

On 32.

32.

Turning 32 feels, for some reason, like a turning point, the next chapter for me.

And I’m not sure why.

Perhaps because it’s just about 3 years – THREE YEARS – since my divorce began and I am at a point in my life where that chapter of my life is so far removed from who I am today and who I am surrounded with. It’s one year further from that life-changing time for me.

Perhaps it’s because I am happier than I quite possibly have ever been before. In love, life, career and friendship.

Perhaps it’s because I honestly feel like I’m inching towards the best shape of my life. Not quite, but almost. And that feels incredible. Absolutely incredible.

And perhaps it’s because I – again – feel as though I am on the cusp of (more) great things?

Today, I ponder. What I’d like 32 to look like.

The sky’s the limit. And I’m ready.