I remember writing a post last summer about whether summer is more fun as a couple or single (at the time, feeling *so* ready to find love again) and out of curiosity, I went to my old blog and found the post.
I wrote it almost exactly a year to this day (May 30, 2010).
Fitting for a throwback today, more than any, as I look outside and summer has finally arrived at my doorstep. It’s going to be a gorgeous, sunny weekend, in the 80s and I couldn’t be more ecstatic.
…and re-reading parts of that post made me realize just how beautiful the here and now is for me, and honestly, how perfectly wonderful summer is whether you are single or coupled up.
What I liked:
And when I was explaining this (in part) to my sister, she said “I just want you to be happy.” And I responded, “but I AM happy.” Because I am, truly. Life is great, I’m in a good spot emotionally and mentally. It’s summer. I have lots of fun things planned in coming weeks and months. It’s just that tiny nagging at me, the alone-factor, that nags ever so slightly more now and again, and right now, it’s nagging.
I know my time will come. I know you all will reiterate that. Or say that I should stop looking. Or stop wanting. Or just to enjoy what I have now. And I am – sorta kinda, all of these things.
Last summer was probably one of the best – if not the best – summers I have ever had. And being on my own ended up having a lot to do with that. I enjoyed the living shit out of last summer and loved the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I wanted. I loved having just my schedule, nobody else’s, my agenda and nobody else’s and I guess you could say, it was my time to be selfish and just be.
Not to say I am limited in what I do now because of M…not by a long shot. We have such a great understanding of each other, what we both like, what we both need, the right balance of things we do together and separately. And that’s what my biggest fear was before we met.
Losing the independence and freedom I had cultivated for myself and grew to love so much.
I haven’t lost that and that has a lot to do with us both having a similar outlook on that and having open communication and striking the right balance. Of course, there are days where I might not love his schedule, or vice versa, but we make it work, we find time, and on the other hand, we also carve out the ‘me’ time whenever we need it.
I guess the point of my posting this throwback is two-fold. To give those that wish they weren’t single hope that it will happen…and that in the meantime, enjoy the shit out of summer and all there is to offer (and let’s face it, everyone looks hotter in the summer, right? Tanned, cute tops, dresses, lots of great ways to meet people, and well, go on dates too!) and use this time as the ultimate in ‘me’ time. And to reflect on the juxtaposition of the ‘me’ I am now and the ‘me’ I was at this point last year. As I said in my throwbacks/story of M, I am me…amplified. I think I am absolutely the same person then as I am now, but just that much happier, that much more self-aware and that much more committed to him, to us, and to the us we are as individuals. Never to lose that.
And, as I scroll through the comments in that post, one lept out at me….specifically from my sister, which said:
Jo – I know you are just as happy being single, learning new things about yourself, and enjoying the journey, but damn do I wish I could find that perfect match for you like rightnow. I know, all in due time, but seriously, you deserve love and affection and all that comes with finding your “other half.” I know it’ll happen, I know you’re happy but it does make me a little sad when I sense that you’re sad. I just wanna wipe it all away in the worst way.
Reading that now, it makes me smile, it makes me see that M was meant for me, in my path all along, at just the right moment. The week after the unofficial end to summer. Labor Day. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Happy weekend friends…enjoy the shit out of it, will ya? Cheers!! 😉