Tag Archives: peace

On intuition.

Lately I’ve been struck by my sense of intuition on some things. Some of which I won’t share in detail (such a tease, I know…), but a few that I think are just more ongoing ‘a-ha’ moments for me as I grow as a barre n9ne instructor and student and as a mindful, intuitive eater.

Intuition lately has been telling me to not rush things.

Not try to ‘can’t wait’ past the very present. The moments that matter.

The in-between moments that will otherwise be lost, forgotten or not even noticed to begin with.

It feels like an incredibly special time in my life right now, from my life with M, as we move forward towards uniting our lives forever, to continuing to focus on balance and prioritizing what and who matter, like my sisters, my niece, the friends that ‘get’ me most.

Intuition is telling me to keep focusing on ‘feeling the room’ when I am teaching a barre n9ne class, ease up ever so gently if there is struggle (beyond the point where it should be, where form suffers), offer words of guidance and support, help clients refocus and snap back to the present, as they too can drift off and not focus and push and break through barriers. (it also is a gentle reminder to me, when I am a student in class, to channel the very words I speak, and work and hone).

Intuition is telling me when to eat, and when to stop. It is telling me when I am hungry, and when I am bored, or stuck in a habit. It is an ongoing, lifelong process, but this intuitive eating thing…gets easier and easier the more I listen to that intuition and mindfulness. It’s about peace. Not struggle.

Intuition is also telling me when to ease up on my own workouts, on my body, and well, on myself. Stop trying to be do it all or be regimented.

Intuition is urging me to let go a little. (M is also really good at helping me practice this, just by nature of how chill he is. About everything. From getting married, to what to make for dinner!) I need to be more vicarious because the more planned I am, the more boxed in I feel and the less I enjoy any of those carefully made plans (my favorite pin lately on Pinterest? Something along the lines of, I can be spontaneous if it is carefully planned <–that is so me!).

Most importantly, intuition is guiding me in my life. Intuition of the faith variety. It helps me feel centered. It helps me realize when I am losing sight of what is important, or getting caught up in the details or the excitement of something and not looking at it realistically. (this is where the vagueness comes in…). Intuition is telling me that ‘life is never simple. But don’t fret. It will all work out as need be.’ <–wise words of Ms Lindsay yesterday as I tweeted out some frustration. Thank you friend, it was e-xactly what I needed at that very moment.

I think this year, while it has been one of the best years of my life so far, it has also taught me so very much in terms of listening to myself, my body, my intuition. Letting it guide me. Breaking past the stubbornness. And letting go just a little bit more. Living more freely, and ‘sitting down’ when I need to.

On unexpected realizations.

My brain has been a weird thing lately (okay, it usually is, but even more so lately, if that’s even possible). Go with me on this one, ok?

I’ve realized some things that I guess I never thought I’d actually hear myself saying (or thinking).

Like…wanting a wedding. Not a big one. Not at all. A small, intimate, private thing that ultimately screams ‘us’ over and over.

Like…wanting to talk about M again on here. On this very blog that I recently declared I wouldn’t. I’ve been battling myself over what I want to share here and what I’d like to keep to myself or share *off* the Internet. So, you may see me contradict myself a fair bit here. I may talk about him, us, plans, in bits and pieces. And then I might not. I hope you’ll understand. I’m trying to toe the line between privacy, exploring my thoughts and chronicling the happiest time in my life. A tough feat, no?

Like…wanting to say no more. To simplify. To cut away the excess. I continue to struggle with this. And I realize that what I am truly struggling with is lack.of.time. And the inability to spend time with the ones I care most about. Even my sisters. So I am putting a moratorium on plans. On making plans for any weekend that isn’t *already* planned. To practice what I preach.

Like…realizing that I think I am finally FINALLY at a point in my body image journey that I am in my happy place. I’m not struggling with self esteem, I am not trying to be perfect, I am not fixated on the scale or numbers of any kind, I am continually at peace with food, and I’m just feeling…really good. And realizing that may be one of the biggest unexpected realizations of late. Who knew it could be this way? I certainly didn’t. And yes, it’s taken almost a year and a half of practicing mindfulness and getting to my happy place, but it’s been well worth it.

And finally…like realizing taking a step back and refocusing on every aspect of my life *here* and “live” is bringing me one step closer to simplicity and ultimately, that happy medium balance I crave. 

So, friends, a little of this, and a little of that going on in my brain. I guess I don’t know what my point here is, but I was compelled to write today, and haven’t been lately. And this is what’s on my mind. Unexpected thoughts of the simple variety.

I’ll leave you with this, the absolute ultimate in ‘striking truths’ – what better reason is there to simplify your life than this?

I vow…to chase (mindfulness).

My beautiful friend Melissa over at Live, Love & Run has started up what she calls ‘the weekly chase’ and it is an absolutely awesome way to focus on a weekly goal and to maintain accountability. At first, I thought I would hop into this in a week or so, after wine country quad-peat takes place, but I realize that is one huge goal that I continue to focus on. Not just weekly, not just monthly, but daily.

Being mindful. 

Some days it is easier to be mindful. With everything. From food, to living ‘in’ the moment, to being at peace with myself and maintaining balance.

But some days it is an internal battle with myself, a noisy riot in my brain. About everything. From what I choose to eat to whether or not I choose to have a glass (or two) of wine. To whether logging is still ‘working’ for me (or against me). To whether I should run more miles…or maintain peace with mileage and just run.

And as an ode to mindfulness (something written so eloquently by MizFitOnline in this guest post that I just adore), as I look back at a weekend where I felt a little bit mentally tested on one day (but completely at ease and satisfied with my mindfulness on the others – go figure), and as I set out on a trip where I will focus on balance and mindfulness (but not be so strict that I don’t enjoy the wine, the local cheeses and foods) and step away from my routine (my eats, my workouts, everything), I will vow to maintain mindfulness. 

And just be.


Friends, I urge you to check out Melissa’s Weekly Chase…and if you want to join in, link up to her post, and slap a badge on your page or your post. I think this could be something beautiful – motivating, accountable, and we can be in it together.