Tag Archives: improvement

On starting from the ground up.

Sometimes, when I re-read some of my posts, I sit back and think about where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. And I don’t even mean that in a ‘patting myself on the back’ sort of way. I think back to my roots, in every sense of it, and how going from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs makes you appreciate that much more what you have and what you have built up for yourself.

It’s so easy to take for granted the life you have, once it’s filled to a point where you are content. Where you are still building, but you are stable, have what you need to live, but also to share and give back. To pay it forward. Paying it forward in the form of giving back to those that are still ‘building’ is the ultimate proof point that you can give back…some of that life that’s been built around you.

I think this feeling has been with me lately as I look around at the from-scratch moves I’ve made.

Financially. This was by far one of the biggest feats for me to rebuild. Almost literally from scratch. Going from being a homeowner with two steady middle class incomes to one income, a forced short sale and onslaught of debt and recovery to come was…trying, to say the least. Juggling which credit card to pay down first, to finding a job that would give me the boost in pay that I needed (and deserved!), to patiently building my credit back up. To finally putting a real budget together instead of just doing the head-in-the-sand game and avoiding banking of any kind until each paycheck arrived (resulting in many an overdraft…oy.). To now…finally feeling able to save again, to build that fabled ‘security blanket’ fund that I’ve never had before, to helping those that need it, picking up the tab, buying a gift ‘just because.’ Thankful. Blessed. Never taken for granted.

Starting from the ground up…financially.

Myself. Looking back, and in reading some other recent blogs from those going through the 180 degree  transformation that is divorce, I can firmly say that I started from scratch. From ground zero. A blank slate. The past came rushing to mind this morning as I woke up from one of those haunting dreams where I’m still with my ex-husband (doesn’t even matter what the details of the actual dream were) and it’s as though I stepped back in to my ‘old’ self, the me I’ve done so much to completely rebuild…from the ground up. The relief that spread across me as I rolled over and kissed M on the cheek, trying not to wake him, but just to make sure he was real, this was real, I am here, now, the me I’ve developed…was so powerful. Thankful. Blessed. Never taken for granted.

Starting from the ground up…myself.

The life around me. I am struck by how much I am living my life for me right now. After I re-read my post last weekend, I realized how very fortunate I am to be able to spend an entire weekend centered around things I want to do. For me. Just me. And maybe that’s considered selfish to some, or too self-centric, there was a time where I didn’t do for me, I didn’t see the value, and at the stage of my life that I’m in, I’m taking it and running with it. I am living it, because I can, and I want to. And I won’t apologize for that. Everyone has their priorities in their lives, their goals, their passions. The things that I do on the weekend are mine. Cue this past weekend, for example. To have spent a large majority of it barre n9ne training, certifying and teaching…that’s not something anyone has the time to do or even wants to do. But to be able to follow my passion and to shift it into something I also do for others, for a living? Is incredible. Not everyone gets the opportunity to do this. To have the time to devote to, and maintain, and build up.  Thankful. Blessed. Never taken for granted.

Starting from the ground up…the life around me.

Starting from the ground up….makes you appreciate the highs so much more once you’ve seen the low.

My 6-month run challenge: weeks 14 and 15: putting the fuel back in.

I am in a bit of catch-up mode on writing about my run challenge, and part of the reason for that is that I just haven’t had much to say, because things have felt a little ho-hum for me, a little bit of a struggle intermixed with being uber focused on barre n9ne training and getting myself completely ready for my first class (thank you all so much for your comments and support, each and every one of those made me smile to read!!). So I shifted my run challenge into maintenance mode…I got all 4 runs in each week, but did not do my longer run.

And intervals. Oh, intervals. I kinda kept them at a ‘just good enough’ field goal pace. I didn’t push it too hard. Why? Because I plain ‘ole didn’t feel like it. And also because the one I’ve made for myself recently is more about ‘rolling hills’ and keeping my pace steadily faster but not balls-to-the-wall fast. But I’ve done that one the past three weeks. When sure, I could have gone to one of my more puketastic variations (that I’ve been borrowing from some of you fabulous runner friends too!), but I didn’t. Because I didn’t wanna and because training for barre n9ne has been tiring. Mentally. Physically. All of it.

But then I read a post from Tina (again with a great post at the right time!) and now that I’ve gotten through my first class (next one on tap: Sunday! woohoo!), and I feel less anxious about it and more excited, I am ready to put the fuel back into this challenge and push myself…because I know I can do it, and not shy away from it so much. Because I’ve taken it a little easier the last few weeks (completely warranted IMHO), but it’s so easy to then just slide into routine/maintenance mode, too. And to think you ‘can’t’ or have gone as far as you are gonna go.

But already, this week, while 2 of my 3 runs haven’t been the most enjoyable, they were outside. And outside is where I need to be. Because it’s harder. Because there are more elements to battle (hello freaking wind from hell today!), and because the weather...is starting to get warmer! 63 degrees already today, people! This is incredible!!! And because daylight savings time is right around the corner. (wheeee!).

So, with all that preamble aside? I am ready to get back to it. To hit month FOUR with a vengengence. To run more outside. To get back to my long run (once I can run outside for these runs consistently, I’ll add on to the 7 miles I’ve been hovering at). And yes, to get back to some puketastic intervals. Anyone have any suggestions on goodies for me to try? I have a few tucked away, but am always looking for more. I know you got ’em, share ’em, will ya? 😉

**asslap to everyone adding some sweat to their lives, no matter what form it comes in…yoga, running, walking, swimming, kickboxing, barre, you name it, it counts ;-) **