Tag Archives: eloping

‘The day you’ve waited for your whole life’

*I’ve drafted and held on to this post for awhile and while it may seem somewhat polar opposite to yesterday’s post, I also think it fits into some of what I had to say there. Again, I know this topic may raise some opinions, and that’s okay, I welcome it. This is just my own personal feelings on the topic. Enjoy (er, I hope!)**

‘The day you’ve waited for your whole life…’

Your wedding day.

Something I honestly, 100% never thought about or pined over. Ever.

Sure, I might be in the huge minority on this one, but growing up and throughout my years pre-marriage, I never once uttered that phrase, I never once envisioned my wedding day or the big white dress.

Yet, while watching ‘Say Yes to the Dress” (which oddly, I am absolutely riveted by and watch quite often. Yes, I realize the oddness of this, given that I just said I never envisioned that for myself!), I am constantly awe-struck by these women that completely romanticize their wedding day to the point where I wonder if they even think past that day, towards their marriage, towards their future together, not *just* their wedding. I have said this before –¬† I don’t want a wedding…I want a marriage.” And that statement couldn’t be more true, because it is most certainly not about that day where you say your vows and officially get married, it’s all that goes into why you decided to get married and how you plan to live your future lives together (hopefully) forever.

And as I write these words, I wonder if I am being interpreted as the ‘jaded divorced woman’ that thinks this now that I have gone through divorce, and not because it’s what I have always believed. It’s most certainly the latter.

I have always felt this way.

I have always felt that weddings have been overly romanticized and are often cookie cutter and not representative of the couple being married and are also far too traditional and don’t truly carry forward the message behind why this couple is getting married. Whenever I go to a wedding and I get no sense of the why…I actually just get disappointed, because I think, if anything, your wedding day, the day that you spend an obscene amount of money on, you absolutely should make it ALL about you and ALL about why you want to marry your man (or woman) and your personality. Throw tradition out the window for once.

I guess this topic is on my mind a lot more lately because I wrangle with what I would do the second time around…(ya know, hypothetically speaking…) and honestly, I have no idea. I instantly gravitate towards doing what I did before. Going somewhere remote and getting married without anyone but ourselves, a witness and a minister. But then, I think ‘why do what I did before?’ Why not – again – through the rulebook out the window and do something completely different. Not a big wedding. Not everyone and their brother. But what I want? I just want it to be about us.

And until then…it’s a blank slate. And that’s the way I like it.