Tag Archives: eating habits

Progress…(somewhat) under wraps.

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words, well wishes, and support for us as we launch into our first home together! It truly means so much to have so many, near and far, care, send support, and pray for us. More than words can say.

(and reading, and rereading all of your comments just makes this feel so much more real, I can’t even stand it! wheeeeeee!!)

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I feel as though – again – I’m silently moving ahead with our plans, to live, to marry, to be and I am not quite sharing it all here. Yes, it is purposeful. Yes, it is with some sense of intent. And yes, it is worth doing this the way we want to do it, and moreso, for ME to do it this way. M knows about my blog, of course (though he used to not, as some of you know!), and supports whatever I decide, in terms of how disclosive I am here, and in ‘real life’ with regard to…well, us.

But at the same time, I *miss* sharing some of this excitement and progress here. And I plan to post more on these things, but probably more so after they have happened, similar to discussing our house plans. Partially out of fear of the proverbial ‘jinx’ and partially because privacy is often underrated, I think. And I need to respect that  – for me, and us – more now than I ever have before.

…just know that good things are in store. Big things. Fabulous things. Uniting things. Soon. Relatively soon. And it’s so damn awesome, I can hardly contain myself. Clearly.

Progress…under wraps.

*file under: being secretive* <–though it is so damn hard!!

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In other not-so-secretive progress ‘news’ – it’s amazing how each day, I feel more and more in tune with my body. More ‘in love’ with me, versus writhing against who I am, my body, my habits. I feel like I own them more, I am confident behind them, and don’t need as many crutches as I have in the past.

I own my eating habits. I know my body. I know what fuels it. I know what it likes. I know how to keep it balanced. And that has taken so long to get a handle on…but it’s been so worth it!

I continue to focus on balancing the ‘smarter, not harder’ mantra, especially when I want to tiptoe over that line because I love what I do so much. I love to teach, yet I love to take classes, yet I love to run. But I can’t do it all, every single day. I need to choose, be selective, yet still get my ‘me’ workouts in where I can and where makes the most sense. Some days are harder than others to realize this, but then I go back to two things: be smart. And embrace the ability.

And, I continue to focus on being my own best friend, loving myself for what it can do, not for what (I perceive it to) not be able to do or look like. Nobody is perfect, so why not strive for excellence, balance, and happiness, instead? Life is too short for perfection, IMHO 😉

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So…life progresses. In so many good ways. And also in some upcoming challenging ways. But I feel ready. Far more ready than I ever have. And that is worth rejoicing, and embracing, isn’t it? 

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Bits and pieces.

**Just some bits and pieces flitting through my brain that don’t quite make a post in of itself, but together, make a lil potpourri of thoughts that I don’t want to lose!**

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Can someone first explain to me, how is it *only* Wednesday? Whenever I travel, it feels like a time warp, backwards and forwards! Starts off with a bang and then mid-week, starts to wane, like whoa. I know I will catch my second wind for the tail end of my trip, but man, does traveling mess with me. Routine, baby, it’s where it’s at 😉

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I am supremely amazed at how differently I’ve handled eating during this trip. While I have had several trips across three time zones since I started the barre n9ne challenge last year, which has made me more mindful and aware of eating when hungry, not out of habit or mindlessly, but this trip has just felt the most different of them all. For starters, I was *really* worried I’d be ridiculously hungry during Monday’s flight since it left at 8 am, and arrived at 2:30 pm (in my brain, but 11:30 PT) where I would have to endure what should be breakfast and lunch, yet only be barely lunchtime on the West Coast when I arrived.

For the first time, I forced myself to retrain my eating into West Coast times from the minute I stepped off the plane. And surprisingly? It worked! I wasn’t heinously hungry the entire flight, either. I scored some steel cut oats at the hotel (last minute score! Arm pump!) and just needed a banana to sustain me until I landed and could grab a bite once I got my car, maneuvered my way out of LA and go to my office, around 12:30 PT. That has seriously been my golden ticket this week. I haven’t woken up famished (hungry, but not wilting!), and I’ve generally been hungry at the ‘right’ times on the West Coast. Score.

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I ran outside – alone – for the first time EVER since  I started this job 18 months ago. (well, that’s not entirely true. I did run on the beach AT my hotel when I first started…but that doesn’t feel quite the same, since there were people everywhere. If that makes sense). I knew I wanted to finally run outside, when it would be light enough to do so safely (many of my trips up until this point have been during winter months where it was just too dark to do it previously). And so I would not get lost, I came up with a genius plan (if I do say so myself!). I ran FROM my hotel TO my office. Since I know the route by heart and it’s about 2.4 miles one way, making for a solid just about 5 mile route.

What most surprised me, beyond loving being outdoors and running IN Cali and ON flat, flat, FLAT roads was how PRETTY everything smelled. I smelled flowers everywhere. I heard birds chirping. I even heard the electrical wires above me buzzing. It was quiet, even on usually-busy main roads (it was 5:30 am, I guess I can see why). I LOVED it.

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We had our long-awaited event this week for work. (the reason I am out here this week) And it was SO cool to see an event come off without a hitch, one that my boss and I have been working on for months. It was fun to interact with those that arrived, from the students from a local college (that were part of the competition for this particular event), to my company’s executives, to the media that came, and to my co-workers, too. I finally felt comfortable chatting on the fly with people and not feeling like I stuck out like a sore thumb. Perhaps it goes back to feeling confident in who I am, for the first time pretty much ever, huh?

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This whole shifting focus, thing? Yeah, it’s REALLY working for me. I have not dreaded this trip much at all (besides the always hard goodbyes to M), I have looked forward to it. I have embraced the challenges, I have done new things (running alone, as I mentioned, for starters!), and I have just enjoyed the time and the opportunity. It has gone a long way, and I couldn’t be more glad, or more relieved at that.

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So far, it’s been a GREAT week. And I guess the bits and pieces flitting through my head culminates into more than I thought it would, huh? 😉 

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PS – THANK YOU to everyone for all of your feedback, compliments, and support on my post yesterday. It meant so much to see such positive feedback and enthusiasm. I was nervous to post before and after pictures for a number of reasons, but am so glad the message I wanted to get through as part of that came shining through, rather than it being uber focused on numbers and such. THANK YOU!

I wish there was smellavision (er, blogavision?!) – those flowers smelled GOOD!

On lifestyle changes, an evolving palette, and consistency.

Last week, I made my usual go-to low calorie carrot cake cupcakes for an upcoming cookie party (super easy trick, if you’re ever in need: any box cake mix, add a can of pumpkin, no other ingredients and bake 18 muffins, each will have 110-120 cals each, depending on the nutritionals in the box). I usually have one as a treat after dinner (or sometimes, even as my lunch, with a yogurt, for a switch up!), maybe with a dab of peanut butter as ‘frosting.’ With that in mind, I decided to make peanut butter frosting for the cookie party, since a) I knew I’d get an eye-roll for making low-fat cupcakes for a cookie party and b) to dress them up a bit.

*I promise, I’m getting to my point of this post!*

The frosting called for about 4 cups of confectioner’s sugar, vanilla, milk, and 1/3 cup of peanut butter. Um, yumtastic, right? And yum, it was, as I licked the spoon and had to force myself to pour water and soap into the mixing bowl so I wouldn’t gorge myself on frosting. A little while later, my stomach felt heavy and I got that once-familiar ‘sugar mouth’ feeling (ya know, when you eat too much sugar and feel like it’s coating your mouth…or is that just me?!) and it occurred to me. My taste for sweet things is waning. I am becoming far more in love with savory foods and muted sweet treats (such as these low fat cupcakes that taste dense, moist and much more neutral than making them the regular way).

I never quite ‘got’ what people meant when they said their palettes change over time,or evolve. But now, I do. And, this is also in part due to my way of eating now and something Tanya (the mastermind over at barre n9ne studio of course! Love her and her approach, cannot say it enough!) said during a recent nutrition seminar: we need to change our habits when it comes to eating and ‘retrain’ them to want more healthful things.

For example, learn (or retrain) yourself to crave sweet things in the form of an orange, or strawberries, and not as focused on processed or, worse, fake sugars. I rarely eat processed sugars (and never fake after realizing it just tricks me into thinking I am hungry, when I am not), and probably haven’t eaten much of it at all since starting the challenge in May. This frosting experience was an a-ha moment to me: my palette is finally ‘catching up’ to what I eat, and is learning to crave the good, and notsomuch the bad (now if I could just get it to *not* crave wine and cheese…oh, who are we kidding, we all need a little in our lives, right?!)

Now, this isn’t to say that I am perfect, because I am not. Clearly, I enjoy wine. And I plan for wine. And cheese. And whatever else I want to eat. But the key word here is – plan. I plan for when I go out to eat, the best I can. I plan to allot some calories for wine when I’d like it. And to me, that is the difference between a diet and a lifestyle change. There is no short – or long-term goal in a lifestyle change. It is your way of life. Period. It doesn’t mean I will count calories for the rest of my life. It does mean that I will generally understand what my body needs calorie- and nutrient-wise and eat to that, not focus on what I was focusing on previously: eating for pleasure, not as fuel. YES, food can – and should – be fun and pleasurable, but it doesn’t mean over-satiating yourself, over-indulging and getting to that too-full-I’m-going-to-burst feeling. Let’s face it, that feeling never feels good!

So I guess the point of my post, besides waxing poetic about how passionate I really am about this approach, is to just say that this is just working for me. And I firmly believe that it will always work for me. It’ll never feel like a diet. It’ll never feel depriving. It’s all about planning and consistency. 

And results. I looked at my before/after pictures from the 60 day challenge again, and wow, this journey has been incredible. And there is so much more to come and so much more I am excited about. Heading into the holidays knowing I will choose smart, pick my (food) battles and come out a winner. Being more involved in the barre n9ne family more than ever, continuing to challenge – both barre n9ne and running. I am excited about the future. I am excited about what’s to come. Sky is truly the limit.

(and I truly hope you don’t get sick of me babbling on about this stuff…it’s what I am passionate about and sometimes, I just gotta put pen to paper on it.)