Tag Archives: compromise

My 6-month run challenge: weeks 9 and 10 (on concessions)

**A love note to Friday: you didn’t come soon enough, I clawed and crawled my way towards it, and now that you are here, I love you.**

Dudes. I am BEAT. Like, completely exhausted. This week did a number on me and that love note I just wrote (as dorky as it is) is absolutely true. I clawed and crawled my way towards today and now that it is here, I could probably cry tears of joy. Orrr pray for a nap 😉

Although I got a few good runs in this week while on my trip (and being told by the entire company that I kick ass on the treadmill. Hehe. Clearly I am not over that one yet!), I woke up today and could not fathom trying to get my longer run in (7 miles). I reset the alarm clock for 7 and thought I would do a shorter spin workout. Alarm went off. My eyes barely cracked open. Nope. Not happening. My body was almost quite literally telling me no. So, it’s a two day rest day week for me, and that’s okay.

Because sometimes you gotta make concessions for your body. And listen to it. And the past two weeks of this run challenge, I have done just that. I’ve adjusted, I’ve tweaked. And two weeks in a row, I skipped my long run.

Sure, I could beat myself up over it. Sure, I could worry that I am sliding back from my goals of this challenge. But I honestly feel the opposite. Because my ‘maintenance’ and recovery runs have been 6 miles the last two weeks. And my interval runs have been nothing short of killer (in a good way), to the point that hitting the 5 mile mark was almost impossible (I call that success!).

So while I did not hit my long run goals during the last two weeks of this challenge, I hit other goals. I remained consistent in my other runs, even when traveling (which to me, is huge). And I think the added rest will do my body good, and I will be ready to tackle that long run next week, and hopefully outside, to boot.

I hope this doesn’t sound like a ramble or that I am making excuses or, on the other end of the spectrum, that I am working my body too hard, because I am not. I always rest at least once a week and there are weeks where I need two. This routine just works for me. We are all different and we all know our bodies limits. Today, my body screamed its limits to me.

So it’s a concession I am more than willing to make.

~~

On that note, friends, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Mine will be filled with a weekend in Boston with my love, and my sister Jess and brother in law, fancy-ing it up in style, as well as with my friend Steph and husband. This weekend’s plans have also gotten me through this week, and I cannot wait to celebrate (life, new beginnings, happiness…there’s always a reason to celebrate…especially if the Pats win on Sunday!!). Cheers!

On compromise and confessions.

As much as I wax on about balance and happy mediums and saying no when you need to…I have a confession.

That I am almost ashamed of.

When it comes to compromise to make those things happen?

I’m really shitty at it.

I am far more stubborn than I ever thought and as much as I used to hate when my sister Jess would tell me I am so ‘my way or the highway’ about certain stuff, I hated it because she is right. (hear that, sis?!) I am.

And I hate that I am that way, because I never really saw it until recently. As I ‘let my hair down’ more and more around M, as we continue to open the honesty and open communication floodgates, I am far more honest with him than I ever was with my ex (which is a whole other story for another time! all in good ways of course.), and sometimes that also means that my stubbornness and ‘my way or the highway’ tendencies come out.

And M, the easygoing, laidback M, goes with the flow. Reason #853 why I love him. He’s far more calm and relaxed about stuff than I am. I am a planner. He is not. I am type A. He is not. (some good ‘opposites attract’ qualities here)

So, last night, as we were discussing this upcoming weekend (a planned trip upta camp!), it turns out that he is on-call. All weekend. This is rare. He usually is on-call for one night (or sometimes two) every 5-6 weeks or so. Just so happens to be this weekend. And, my sister invited another couple up to join us (who I know relatively well, but M has met twice). So when I mentioned this to M, after he informed me of being on-call, his mood shifted entirely. He was not comfortable going up for the weekend with more than just family (side note: I love that he considers my sister and BIL family now, that means so much!), with his pager going off at all hours of the night. (not that I blame him) So, in a culmination of factors – on-call-ness and additional people coming up to the lake – he said he would prefer that we don’t go (or that I go by myself).

This led to a conversation about trying to see if we could skirt around it and still go. For one night, not two. For just the day. Any option I tried, he was still uncomfortable with (again, not that I can really blame him) and he would suggest a different alternative. Meanwhile, I was duly upset that my sister had invited friends up (I had forgotten, honestly, that she had even mentioned it, in her defense) and now with the premise that we would not go if others were there, she was still going ahead with her plan (hello, mememe factor/’my way or the highway’ in effect). Tears flowed. Frustration grew.

I ended up more upset at the entire situation…my sister ‘choosing’ her friends, M not bending or compromising. But honestly? I was the one not compromising. I wanted it my way. But sometimes you need to step back, see the bigger picture and realize that sometimes the most well-intentioned plans don’t pan out and you need to consider plan B versus causing an unnecessary rift.

So this is me…confessing. To at this moment, feeling like a shitty sister and a shitty girlfriend. I was being selfish. It wasn’t either M or my sister’s fault. For that, I am sorry. Jess, I am sorry. I love you and you didn’t deserve my selfishness. To M (who I will see tonight, unplugging and unwinding with on a rare barre n9ne day off), I will say exactly the same thing.

And to this coming weekend? We’ll enjoy every minute of it regardless of where we are or who we’re with. Because that’s how we roll.