Tag Archives: adjustments

A riff on the Friday Five!

I have a shitton of things swirling in my brain today for a post but as it’s been sort of a crazy day, and some of these aforementioned things swirling in my brain are half-baked, I thought I’d share a few musings for the day, a la a riff from the Friday Five, something I love reading from Live for the Run!

1. I think I’ve had my epiphany about what to do with my running conundrum that I wrote about earlier this week. This is one of those half-baked thoughts in my head for a post, so I’ll share more later, but I think my #1 problem is running on tired legs. I have a rejigger to my schedule next week to best accommodate for solid runs, and I’m excited to see how it goes. After this morning’s awesome run with my sis and a fellow barre n9ne instructor, Julianna, it was the proof I needed that running fresh is what I need.

2. Week 1 of full-on barre n9ne teaching is (almost) in the books! Teaching my fourth class of the week tomorrow morning and am STOKED that not only do I have double digit attendance, a couple of friends I haven’t seen in awhile are coming!! AND I have tested out a few alterations on some of my go-to moves this week with my smaller classes and I cannot wait to put it all together tomorrow. But dude…I am TIRED. Teaching 4 classes a week is no joke, I cannot imagine how aforementioned fabulous Julianna teaches oh, I think 11?! INSANITY! But awesome. I lovelovelove it. And the side benefit of really working the arms and abs is already paying off, I am noticing some changes that I do believe I dig 😉 (oh! and I spied my bio up on the web site and got all giddy, I didn’t notice before! Whee!)

3. I finally feel like my weekends are a little less gogogo – breathe – gogogo. This weekend? Just ONE thing planned, officially! After some jammed weekends of late, I am reveling in this! 30th birthday party tomorrow for one of my close friends and I cannot wait to celebrate! Other than that? Pretty wide open, and in dire need of downtime, organization time, and veg-time. Bring it on.

4. Proud sister alert: My sister Jen defends her dissertation on Monday and while I won’t be there cheering her on, I will be there in spirit. I am just so damn proud of her and all that she’s accomplished, while going through her pregnancy, her illness post-c-section, and raising a spunky, beautiful, adorable going-on-2 year old! Love you sis and am more proud than I could ever put into words. ❤

5. Is it wine-thirty yet? Seriously, long, busy, tiring and challenging week this week. I am pretty close to crying tears of joy into my wine glass tonight. Ever have one of those nights where you truly cannot wait for that sip of wine? Like whoa.

Happy weekend, friends!! Make it a good one, will ya? Cheers!

Learning to live together: it’s a new world (for me)

**The second in my little series on learning to live with M together. I will write these as the thoughts cross my mind**

Well, it’s been about three weeks since we’ve lived in our new digs and we are really adjusting SO well in all aspects of it so far (of course, I am realistic in knowing that we are still in the ‘this is new, wheee fun’ phase!). I love waking up next to M, going to sleep next to M, and all the stuff in between.

What I am not used to is being just a wee bit farther from my family, some friends, and namely, my sister Jess.

It’s been three weeks since we moved, and the first visit we’ve had has been from M’s parents (Sunday. It was so fun to share it with them! They loved it!). My sister hasn’t come by yet, or anyone else in my family. And I am not saying this in so much as a negative way, because let’s face it, I moved, they didn’t, I should make much more of the effort than anyone else. And it’s *only* been three weeks. And of those three weeks, it’s been a busy three weeks and weekends since. What’s hard for me to adjust to is that being 25 mins from my sister Jess and about 45  from my mom (for example) and knowing that it’ll take just a little more planning to get together than before. I was spoiled living 2 minutes from my mom’s school and 5 miles away from Jess.

So this adjustment in learning to live together is entirely mine. It’s a new world for me. Just a little farther from my roots from where I grew up. M lived nearby for the past year or so and has moved around this state in the past 5 years or so much more than I have. I have lived in the same town for the past 5 years. So, at times, I feel a little more remote than I’d like and I know that I will adjust. And I know that as I write these words, I probably sound relatively ridiculous given so many people live entire states, coasts and countries away from their loved ones.

At the core of it, I am extremely lucky. I am blessed to be as close to much of my family as possible.

So, to be honest, writing these words almost feels wrong. But I am writing them because it is how I feel, this is my haven and this is how I am chronicaling my transition into cohabitation with M. I won’t apologize for my feelings (but I will point out that while I may struggle with the perspective – at times – that I really am not that far from anyone in my family, in the grand scheme of things, I DO see it. I DO know I am lucky).

What I think this does – living a little farther from my comfort zone is two things. One, it thrusts me out of my comfort zone again, and whenever I am uncomfortable, I grow. I learn. I conquer. This is good. This quells stagnation. Two, it naturally enables M and I to come together and really focus on each other as we adjust to living together. Nothing influencing that, nothing distracting us from it. And I think that is important. It goes back to relationship investments. I will also never apologize for that either.

Wow, this post really took a few interesting turns. I hope it makes sense. I hope anyone reading ‘gets’ what I am saying. And I hope I don’t offend anyone either. Like I said, I know I am blessed. I know I am really not *that* far and I know that this is just an adjustment for me.

Learning to live together…it’s just a new world (for me). (not so much for M, in the literal sense!)

Learning to live together: I’m far too particular.

Particular.

Rigid.

My way or the highway.

Yeah, it’s rearing it’s ugly head.

Last night, I opted not to go to barre n9ne because Wednesdays are M’s early days where he gets out around 4 or 5 (vs 6-7) so I wanted to be home for dinner at a normal time (vs. getting home at 8 or 9 from class), in an effort at balancing out the ‘me time’ (barre n9ne!) and the ‘us time’ during the week. I was excited to be able to make dinner and have a glass of wine on our deck and enjoy the night.

That’s how it started out, but then I started getting annoyed at things like his shoes and workout clothes being strewn across the bedroom floor, and the fact that he brought a bunch of more boxes of stuff over from his old apartment to unpack (kitchen/fridge items mostly) and I was trying to hurriedly put them away so it would still be neat. Must.Stay.Clean. That’s all I was thinking about rather than, let it go, get to it after dinner or – gasp – tomorrow instead.

But I couldn’t let it go.

I was seeing stuff like toothpaste on the counter instead of in the cabinet, the toilet seat up instead of down, etc etc. and was finding myself at a point where I was getting snippy with M. I can tell he has been really trying to keep things neat, not put his shoes by the door (a peeve) etc., but here I was, getting snippy and grumpy at him anyway. These things weren’t big things. Hell, I’ve done these things too, so why is it different if he does it?

Because I am used to it being MY place and it being HIS place. At MY place, things are done MY way and at his place things are done HIS way.

But now, we are learning to adjust our habits to live together, happily, and (hopefully) relatively neatly.

It’s a bigger learning curve for ME more than anything. Because I am far too particular. Too uptight. Too effing type A for my own good. So I felt like I ruined the night with my snippy grumpiness when all I really wanted was to spend a beautiful evening with M.

And what made me feel worse when I apologized for being a jerk?

M wasn’t even fazed by it in the slightest. He barely noticed (I’m sure he was also being nice in saying he didn’t notice, but this is a habit I do NOT want to fall into. I do NOT want to put my tendencies on him in such a way that it feels forced or required for me to be happy).

I need to adjust to a happy medium. I need to learn that it’s okay if there are a few things lying about. They’ll get taken care of. Doesn’t mean it has to be done rightnowthissecond, either.

So…I guess we’re learning. Or rather, I’m learning. That I’m still shitty at compromise and ‘my way or the highway’ has gotta go, in some capacity at least. I’m sure I’m beating myself up a bit more than I should. But I’m just mad at myself for letting my need for neatness affect my mood and therefore our evening together last night.

But this morning? Waking up next to that beautiful man next to me? Hugging him close and apologizing again only to have him laugh at me for still thinking about it? Wiped away any angst and worry I had that this adjustment will be harder than it will be…because together, I know we can do anything. Even if it means leaving a pair of shoes by the door once in awhile and *not* getting annoyed.