So, about that secret…

About this time last Sunday, we were putting an offer on a house (the secret!). One that we felt, at the time, was ‘it’. Everything we were looking for. An offer that got accepted late on Monday evening.

And today, at almost the same time, we are backing out of that very offer.

I sit here in tears, saddened at what I thought – what we thought – was truly the house we had been looking for, as it had the perfect mix of move-in condition, yard and deck, and feel to it that screamed ‘us’ and in a town that we both really love.

But after a home inspection yesterday, and some sage advice from a few close family members, combined with our own growing apprehension about these concerns they, and we, began to have, it became clear that maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t *it* after all. As hard as it is to see past the plethora of good qualities in this house – and the list is pretty endless – the bad, the possible warning signs became just too evident, and hard to see beyond. From a very old roof (that we’d likely get stuck footing the bill for) to questions about past flooding (three sump pumps seemed three too many…), to some bowing in the floors that seemed perhaps more than just age and natural settling, we began to wonder if those opinions of others were right…and that maybe we were letting the good qualities of this home cloud our judgement.

After watching another episode of Joel Osteen this morning, his message was focused on praying BIG prayers, and not settling for less, or for ‘just enough.” Dream big, expect more and don’t settle for less. If that isn’t a universal truth and screaming clear message, I don’t know what is. As we sit here and mourn the loss of ‘what couldn’ve been,’ we are focusing on blind faith, trust, and the bigger truth of ‘what WILL be’ in our future...the right home, the right time, the right next step to continue where our story began.


50 thoughts on “So, about that secret…

  1. Aw, it must seem hard right now, but I’m sure you’re making the right choice. When we sold our house last June I had my heart set on a beautiful place within walking distance of Lake MI. But same thing – there were warning signs and I’m SO glad we didn’t buy.

    We lived in my mom’s basement for six months, but now we are truly living in our dream place! I’m sure God has the perfect place in mind for you two. 🙂 xo

  2. When we were looking for houses, there were at least 2 others that we felt were the *one* for us. We didn’t end up making offers for various reasons and it ended up being for the best. The good thing about houses, is that there isn’t just one perfect house for you, there could be many, so if one doesn’t work out, another could.

    And, as a person who’s going through roofing issues right now, it’s a good thing that you didn’t buy the house with they very old roof. Wish I’d thought of that when we did.

  3. That quote at the end sums it up PERFECTLY sis — I know you are heart heavy right now but in the end, this is the right choice, and HE showed you that today with the perfectly timed message from Joel. Like I’ve already said to you — don’t lower your bar, that dream house, that HOME is out there. By expecting MORE and BETTER, you will be rewarded in the end, I know it. Trust, trust, trust. xoxo

  4. I am SO SORRY, I know this feeling! I know it doesn’t help right now, but this just means it was NOT the perfect house for you guys, really.

    last year when we bought our house, we found two others that were “the one” before we found this one. we were SO SURE about one, put in an offer (and proceeded to get so excited, seeing ourselves there and making plans…), only to be outbid by a cash offer over ours. we were given the chance to counter, and we could have, but… we just knew this was a sign (too hokey?) and we moved on (we also thought it was bizarre, because we had put in an offer for full amount – we didn’t want to be manipulated like that).

    we then found the NEXT “perfect one” only to be outbid by someone FROM JASON’S COMPANY that was moving to Oregon from the bay – they got “our house” sight unseen!

    … the story does end with us finding our perfect house, we knew it the moment we walked in.

    and you will too!! don’t get discouraged, it IS a big roller coaster looking at houses. it is good to listen to your instinct, definitely listen to the home inspection, and don’t compromise from your “house wish list”.

    big hugs to you XO

    1. I REMEMBER your house and how perfect it is for you, when you were writing about it and cannot imagine any other house being more perfect in every way for you. That really REALLY makes me excited for our future home 🙂 XO

  5. Jo, so sorry to hear this! I my fingers were crossed for you. You have to have faith that everything happens for a reason and the right house is out there waiting for you. It will come, just be patient.

  6. Oh friend I am so sorry. I was so excited for you! I think you made the right choice. So many people jump the gun and don’t educate themselves on what they are walking into. They see the house only but not the problems that can come with it. In the long run you will understand why this happened. You are sooo close but there is something better out there. Keep that faith:)

    1. I know, I was so excited too, clearly! You knew that 🙂 It is hard not to jump the gun, and we were really trying NOT to but succumbed anyway 😉 Long run, worth it 🙂

  7. Bummer. As right as this one seemed, something even better will come along. You’ll be able to look back on this experience someday and know that it happened to teach you something. Have faith…..everything happens for a reason.


  8. “God’s path may not be the shortest way or the most convenient, but it’s the best way”

    Some words of wisdom, keep the faith 🙂

  9. Well dammit! I am so sorry it didn’t work out. But that just means that the right house is still there for you. We had our hearts on a house once before and it didn’t work out and you know what? It happens for a reason. I know you were so excited about that one. But try, please try, to see the upside. It’s there 😉

    1. LOVE that this made you angry for me 🙂 You are the sweetest. The right house is out there, the upside is there too. I already feel better 🙂

  10. I’m sorry, love. I can’t even begin to imagine how you guys must feel right now, but I love that you aren’t settling! The right house is out there, and I fully believe you two will find it. Hang in there, love. You will find it!

    1. I never want to settle, ever! and in recapping this one to friends and family, it became clear that we were starting to, and we don’t deserve to settle! XO!

  11. I’m so sorry my friend. That is incredibly frustrating! Those kinds of things have happened to Tony and I before when we were looking. There is one time in particular that stands out to me and in the end, we were lucky it didn’t turn out. We are better for it, happier and in a better place. I’m sure your home will find you soon!

  12. Bummer, I’ll add to everyone else and say that we were there too. There was this one house that just would not work out, no matter what hoops we jumped through. House hunting is not for the faint of heart. Until you close, it’s best to try and keep a business mindset, as impossible as that may be when we fall in love with a property. Onward to the next one!

    1. ONWARD is right, my friend. Like I said to you earlier, house hunting is like dating in a way, such ups and downs and false starts etc. How ironic 😉

  13. Oh Jo! I’m so sorry that it didn’t work out but while it’s really hard now, in the end I think that you’re making a good decision. When you have doubts like that, you have to trust your gut. House hunting is hard and stressful but the right house is out there and waiting for you two and you will find it.

  14. Oh, bummer. But EVERYTHING happens for a reason, your passage is one to live by. I have complete faith that something even more amazing will come up for you both. It’s a big purchase so glad you’re waiting until it’s 100% right!

  15. Oh friend. I’m so sorry a) that I haven’t commented in a while – been uber busy! and b) that you’re going through the frustrations of house hunting. I have a hard time with things like this in general, because I’m impatient. I’m impatient and when I set my sights on something I love, it’s hard for me to see the warning signs that it’s not the right thing. (Besides, I’m TERRIBLE about high-dollar purchases. I get the sweats, I can’t talk about it for more then 5 minutes…it’s really tough for me to swallow those purchases. lol) It’s going to happen for you, friend. You guys will walk into another home and feel the connection to it.

    1. No apology ever necessary, friend! I am impatient, as you know, but with something like this, it really has to feel right in every way, not MOST ways. It’ll happen, I just need to be patient, gah 😉 XO

  16. I really like that quote- and I think it is spot on. I know that in the moment, it can be so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I think you guys made an incredible decision. It shows so much strength that you were able to walk away from this. It means you already know that you deserve better than what you found. You’ve already taken steps to move forward by walking away- that is really something. Good luck- the right home is out there!

    1. It IS a spot on quote, I love it too. We made a really hard decision and I am proud of us that we did. Almost harder to walk away than to keep going forward. Thank you!

  17. I’m so disappointed for you. I know how it feels to have your heart set on something and not have it work out (especially something as big as this!). But your new home is out there waiting for you and I’m sure you will find it soon! Hugs!

  18. Fate and Karma… everything has a reason! I’m looking to the forces that ‘make the pieces fall into place’… and keeping you in my thoughts. It may take some more time, but it will happen and it will be perfect 🙂

  19. I’m so sorry you are upset, but like you said, everything is completely going to work out. We did ALMOST the same exact thing and almost gave up on searching before we found our house. We had an offer on a house that we had some concerns about and then I got a paycut and something happened at my husbands job so we opted out of buying the house. Once things settled a few weeks later we found something for a little less and a little nicer. I KNOW this is going to happen to you too. XOXO

  20. I knew it! I knew your secret was about a house, because I tell ya what: I was SO doing that fingers-crossed, please-don’t-jinx-dance when I was looking for a home. Remember how I told you I looked for two years! Well I had a few heartbreaks, upsets, and backing outs along the way. But here I am, almost a year into my home, and that’s what it is – HOME. You will find yours too. I promise. And retrospect is a wonderful thing. I am going to be lifting you up in my prayers that not to far down the road, you and M. will be snuggling on your couch in your new home (drinking wine of course!) and you will be filled with peace and joy for waiting for the right home that God has in store for you.
    Love you friend. Keep that head up, good things are in store for you.

    1. I want to reach through and give you a huge hug 🙂 I love the scene you painted with your words – I SO cannot wait for that moment on the couch in our new HOME 🙂 Your words were so uplifthing!! Thank you friend, love you!

  21. Sweet friend!!! I’m so sorry that it didn’t work out for you both! But I’m so thrilled that you have had the experience to find what you DO want, what DOES fit, and what DOES work for you!

    I know you’re sad about this experience but I’m glad you have the faith that good things are coming. I don’t doubt that for you both at all.

    Love you so!

    1. Thank you friend, yea, we were really excited, and while everything falls into place the way it’s supposed to – or not, as the case may be, it’s hard to swallow sometimes. but we feel good about our decision and we are marching onward 🙂 XOXO!

  22. Aw, you WILL get that dream house Jolene, I just know it!! It’s coming…right around the corner. The two of you deserve it more than anyone and it will surely be worth the wait. I watch far too much HGTV where seemingly perfect homes end up having tons of underlying disasters so it’s good you listened to those warning signs, as tough as it may be right now. Sending you happy dream house hunting wishes 🙂

  23. That is hard. I would feel sad and confused, too, but keep reminding yourself of that quote. As right as this place felt, there was a reason why you didn’t move forward on it. When you’re in the place that’s really right for you, you’ll know it all worked out as it was meant to. xoxo

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