On the knee, (im)patience, and perspective.

So, remember that knee pain I mentioned a couple of weeks ago?

Yeah, that.

Well, in the last 3+ weeks, I have run a total of TWICE and both of those runs ended less than 15 mins in, because of aforementioned knee pain (and, more specifically, IT band pain, on the right side of my knee).

Sigh.

I had diligently taken almost two weeks off from running to rest it (note: this problem ONLY occurs when I run and only after I have run for at least 10-15 mins. Not when I walk. Not when I teach or take barre n9ne classes and not when I do non-impact things, like spinning. Thank God for that!) and attempted another run last weekend. I – for once – happily hopped on that treadmill and was almost giddy to be running again (not that two weeks is a LONG time not to run, but it felt far longer!). My legs were happy. My breathing was actually okay, despite still recovering from a cold, then, bam. Pain. So bad that I literally had to stop completely. There was no pushing through it (not that THAT would have been smart anyway!).

After much hemming and hawing (lol – insert my dramatic overthinking brain here!), and discussing with a few ‘blends’ (blog friends at their finest!) – Meaghan and Naomi, to name a few (Naomi wrote an awesome post on IT Band Syndrome – which is what I think I may have, just today), I begrudgingly made a doctor’s appointment in hopes of a prescription for a physical therapist. That appointment was today. And I again tested my knee for two reasons – a half-hearted last-ditch ‘maybe it went away’ effort and also to *make* it hurt again so I could accurately show the doctor where the pain is (seemed logical to me, perhaps not). Again, I hopped on happily and ran happy, for all of 13 mins before the pain occurred yet again. To my surprise (no really, I had convinced myself it had gone away since it literally does not hurt ever otherwise!). Sad face.

Long story short, I now sit here with a prescription for a PT for 2-3 days a week for a month. I have never been injured. Luckily. Happily. I have typically been a smart runner, adding mileage gradually when I do add mileage, spacing out my runs, not running too much too soon etc., so to have something happen that now inhibits my running…kinda sucks.

Okay, it sucks a lot. And it makes me realize how impatient I am at injury resolution. And waiting. And patience, generally.

It’s also a massive dose of perspective to eat my words a little bit. To all of those friends I have supported and provided words of hope when they had to stop running…‘your body will remember,’ ‘no, you won’t get fat from NOT running,’ ‘you can do other cardio in the meantime, at least, that’s good!’ ‘our bodies need a break sometimes too.’

Blah, blah, blah. YES, all of this is true. YES, all of it is helpful to hear and believe in myself. But does it make it any easier to quell the run-games that go through my mind, anyway? Not really. I hate to even admit that, because I have tried so hard to quell my overthinking ways and to be kind to myself, but it is just a reminder that this is always going to be an area I need to continue to work on: self love and NOT diving head-first into the overthinking ‘rat hole’ as I like to call it.

What else does this little injury remind me? How much I actually LOVE running. Surprise, surprise. I tend to have a love-hate relationship with running sometimes, because it frustrates me when my breathing is off, or my legs are lead, or the run just doesn’t come to me. But now, in the absence of running, I realize how much I DO love it, despite those things. And how nothing truly compares to that feeling, cardio-wise.

But it also motivates me. To BE patient. To BE obedient (as a patient!). To stretch. To foam roll. To heal.Β 

I vow to use this time wisely. To explore other cross training options, like spinning (which I do love!) and even hill intervals *but walking* to strengthen my hamstrings. And anything else I can think of.

So, I guess this is me, owning up to needing some perspective sometimes too, and kicking my own ass a little in allowing myself to get too down about it. Because at the end of the day, I am healthy, I am (mostly) able bodied, and I am happy. A little off time from running shouldn’t and won’t ruin that.

208995238927735118_fjz7KLqO_c

Advertisements

45 thoughts on “On the knee, (im)patience, and perspective.

  1. I remember having to eat my own words when I wound up injured, not once, but TWICE over the years. It SUCKED to have to really step back and 1) remember that patience and honoring the body’s need to heal and recover is SO important and 2) to remember and reevaluate why I love to run and that bottom line: I DO love to run way more than I sometimes think I do. Which is all the same stuff you are noticing now — so to me? This is sort of that test I was talking to you about the other day that Joel Osteen talked about…that God often tests you in a way to help you learn new behaviors or nix some bad habits. So maybe this is His way of helping you to get out of your head and to REALLY love to run all over again πŸ™‚

    PS you will LOVE pt, I really enjoyed it surprisingly

    1. SO right sis. I think this is a reminder to slow down and let my body heel and a practice in patience, a REALLY big lesson there. I am actually looking forward to PT, maybe they also can tell me about any imbalances I may have anyway?

  2. Perspective is EVERYTHING and you really never know what you have until you lose it (if even for a little while). Recovery has always been a huge part of my life, mentally and physically. It’s hard to step away from yourself (the one you know so well) and rethink things. It sucks, it pisses you off, you cry a little and then you pick yourself up and rediscover the new you. I’m really sorry your knee is bothering you. I hope the PT helps and that you’re back on the running legs in no time. Big hugs to you friend!

    1. Perspective IS everything!! SO true! It is REALLY hard to step away from myself and my habits and rethink things. I think I am past the pissed off part and resigned to the fact that this will take some time and I will just make it worse if I try to rush it. XOX!

  3. Sorry to hear about your knee, but it sounds like you are doing all the right things! I had some knee pain back last May and was out 2 months or so, but with cross training you really do come back stronger, faster, and more of a desire to just to be running πŸ™‚

    I also like how you wrote out (im)patience…I find myself being impatient all the time with how long things take to come together sometimes, but your spelling got me to thinking “I AM” PATIENT…hope that makes sense πŸ™‚

    Have a great start to ’13!!!

    1. I NEED to be patient!! I so know it, it just is SO HARD! But I think you are right, I will come back with a bigger desire to run than ever before. and hey, it’s winter, could be worse and happen in the summer, the best run season ever πŸ˜‰

  4. Funny how we can both be the most supportive and encouraging people to everyone else, but when it comes to us, it’s a little more challenging. I love your perspective on how this is practice to work on just BEing…I think it fits very well with your goal for the year πŸ™‚ Hang in there with your knee, love…I know it’s rough right now (stress fractured my leg a year ago and couldn’t run for ages…talk about frustration), but it will get better, especially with your attitude and plan, and you’ll be back there, healthy as can be before you know it πŸ™‚

    1. Talk about just BEING – seriously!! It is so true, I can be SO supportive for others but when it comes to me? Please. Worst patient ever!! Thank you for sharing your own story too, not running for ages would be so hard, so I give you kudos for hanging in there too!

  5. This made me GIDDY: “How much I actually LOVE running…. ”

    Seriously though, you know I’m here for ANYTHING you need – we know each other well enough to be able to exchange the “please help me out of this rathole I tripped into this morning”.. Its SO.MUCH.EASIER to encourage others, then to apply our words to ourselves.

    I’m here for you love.. In anyway you need. xoxo

    1. Thank you friend, you KNOW I will be leaning on you some, and I hope you don’t mind that πŸ˜‰ I DO love running and miss it terribly. But it’s also a good time, given it’s dead winter, right?! Little positive things πŸ˜‰ XOXO!

  6. Oh, sweets!! You’re doing everything right. I completely sympathize. If you heal right now, you’ll be even better after. I wish you the speediest of recoveries. You have the right attitude to be patient. Prayers to you!

    Keep us posted on your appts:)

  7. Sorry that you are still injured! It does suck and you are allowed to be upset or pissed off about it. Giving yourself some time off will help in the end. Sucks, but true.

  8. Why is it so easy to give advice rather than take our own?! Trust. I know what you are going through. The best part? This too shall pass. You are doing all of the right things to get back to what you love (!!!!) ….RUNNING! Sending healing prayers your way friend!

  9. Guuurl, you know I’ve not been running since I injured myself LAST January. It bummed me out too. This past year was definitely what I imagined, fitness-wise, what with starting a new job a few months later that has me busy like whoa. I so hear you on the over-thinking and how we define ourselves…

    I know you, though, and I know you’ll get back on it in no time!

    Um… TWSS?

    πŸ˜‰

      1. THANK YOU T for your large dose of perspective. I didn’t realize you are still not running, but you are doing what you can, in the interim. THANK YOU thank you. XO

  10. Ugh I’m sorry…injuries are never fun, especially for active souls like us! But this will be a good time for you to reflect and treat your body the best you possibly can. My boyfriend was also just issued a month of PT for his BACK (which he injured years ago and just re-injured it during a stretch after bootcamp class) Wishing you (both) a happy, healthy & QUICK recovery.

    1. Ugh your poor BF! Sucks for back pain too! Thank you so much, I think you are right, a good time to reflect and treat my body well. THANK YOU for that bit of perspective!

  11. So sorry to hear about your knee! But be grateful you are still able to barre and spin and try other cardio options. Who knows, this time off from running could be a great opportunity to focus on other, non workout things in life too! Good luck with PT, I’m sure the month will fly by and you’ll be back on the pavement in no time!

  12. Sorry but I just had to chuckle as I read, “blah blah yes yes.” I’m so sorry that you are having IT band pain and have to take time off from running. IT band injuries suck. It IS hard to take time away from the things that you love but it does make you appreciate it all the more. But go to PT and DO your exercises. Sometimes they may seem like silly exercises but its important to keep doing them and you will heal. Anytime you need to vent, I’m here!

  13. I am so glad to hear that you took it easy (mostly) and got it checked out. As you said, I think we need to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us. And there are so many other ways that you stay active in the meantime: running isn’t the only thing. Good luck with the physical therapy πŸ™‚

  14. It’s funny how once we aren’t able to do something that we suddenly realize how much we miss it. It’s like karma’s way of teaching us. How is the knee doing now? Feeling any better?

  15. It’s always a million times easier to give the advice than to live the advice. It’s frustrating when you figure out just how much you love something, like running (not an obvious love, that’s for sure), and you figure it out on the cusp of treating an injury/problem. What the heck, right?

    I have been injured twice, and it IS a test of patience, but we both know that if you wait it out and take care of you, you come back stronger. Your month will be over before you know it.

    PS: In the meantime, keep kicking ass in barre. (Finally got that workout in, and WHOA. You guys must have FABULOUS bums.)

    1. Thank you friend! I know you really had to practice patience and now it’s my turn. Darn it. Eating my words heehee, just kidding. Kind of πŸ˜‰ And I am so glad you got to try the barre workout! Nice bum action right? (wow, that sound dirty!)

  16. What else does this little injury remind me? How much I actually LOVE running. Surprise, surprise. I tend to have a love-hate relationship with running sometimes, because it frustrates me when my breathing is off, or my legs are lead, or the run just doesn’t come to me. But now, in the absence of running, I realize how much I DO love it, despite those things. And how nothing truly compares to that feeling, cardio-wise.

    1. Your comment went to spam, so sorry about that! Thanks for visiting πŸ™‚ And I am glad that this reminds you too that you DO love running! I hope your injury improves too! Nothing compares cardio-wise, I tend to agree πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s