And I do believe I brought it, the very best that I could.
It was exactly – if not better – than I’d imagined it would be.
It went as smoothly ‘in real life’ as it went in my head as I ran through my class mentally during every dreadmill run in the past two weeks.
I let go and went for it. For the first time in my life.
In short, I went all the way for the touchdown, and didn’t stop at the field goal.
And that? Feels damn good. Feels incredible. Feels like I have always wanted ‘it’ to feel when I put my heart and soul into something and just want it to translate as perfectly as I psych myself up for it to be.
Today? It did.
Today? I didn’t choke. I didn’t let my nerves or anxiety or overthinking get the best of me.
As my boss K actually said to me as I was driving to the studio (giving me a little pep talk – so sweet), “you are letting yourself get anxious, kind of like you did with your half marathons. You will do great, just know that.” And as M also said to me: “don’t let stress control you, use it to make yourself better.”
And they were both right. I didn’t let the ‘half marathon curse’ in…the curse of performance not translating on ‘game day’ because I don’t let myself. I didn’t allow myself to succumb to the self-inflicted stress, pressure and anxiety.
I conquered me. More than anything, I plowed through all that ‘stuff’ and allowed myself to be the best I could be, by not holding back, by letting go and running the ball in for the touchdown. Going all the way. Not halfway. Not just good enough.
Dare to be great. Seize it. Carpe diem.
Today, I felt it. And more than anything, I know that it is possible. That I can go for it…and not only go for it, but succeed. There is plenty of learning to do, plenty of shaping and honing as I continue learning to be a barre n9ne instructor. I know this. I am ready for this. But today? I taught my very first barre n9ne method class. And I brought it. And can’t wait to keep bringing it, learning, growing and developing.
This. Is how it’s meant to feel.