On zoning out and intention.

This weekend I was struck by how easy it is to zone out, and how rewarding it is when you put your mind (and head) in the game.

The other day, M gave me a hug and said, “hug me, really hug me.” I didn’t quite get what he meant, and he said ‘sometimes, you hug me, but you are half doing something else, like putting laundry away or something.” That really struck me. That’s zoning out. It’s not having your head in the game. And while he said it sort of in passing, it’s those moments that really strike me and I learn something. I pick up on the nuances and really take them to heart.

And this weekend? I didn’t zone out. I focused. On us. On him. On each other. We made it a special weekend (in between 6 hours of barre n9ne training over the course of Saturday and Sunday, that is. More on that in a minute…) in Boston. Chose a restaurant we’d never been to, but wanted to try, with a special menu for Valentine’s Day. Last minute, we opted to book a room at the Liberty Hotel (a very cool hotel I’ve been wanting to check out, formerly a jail. Very, very cool place!) and we just took our time that evening. For once, I didn’t feel like I was rushing through the day to get to that moment, and we literally enjoyed every moment together. We had one of those deep conversations we get into when we can really focus on each other and the time spent together. (I am also always struck by these conversations we get into…I love that we have them, and that M’s a thinker by nature…it’s sexy). We spent a couple of hours at the hotel lobby bar, and then mozied on over to the Beacon Hill Bistro and spent another couple of hours enjoying our meal, and each other.

And at the end of the night? I think I fell in love with him all over again. Or that much deeper. It was making that connection that can be sometimes lost in the everyday, or when we allow ourselves to be caught up in the hustle and bustle and not just sit and enjoy. Life doesn’t have a deadline, so why make everyday a mad dash for some phantom deadline?


I’ve also applied this same ‘zoning out’ feeling to barre n9ne and the training process. In a class, it’s sometimes easy to ‘phone it in’ or zone out once you know what move you are going into next. But as an instructor, there is no such thing as zoning out. You gotta be on, you gotta be in the game the entire 60 minutes, no matter what. So why slide into zoning out when I’m not teaching? I should always be focused and in the moment. 

At class on Saturday (which was a special ‘bring your boy to the barre’ class…and let me say, M came and really put his all into the class, I was so impressed. He was dripping with sweat after and has a newfound appreciation for these classes and also for my training for certification!), I focused. Hard. Really listened to the instructor’s words and was moving with intention with each move.

Moving with intention.

Doing with intention.


Everything we do should be done this way. No zoning out. No phoning it in. Intent. Focused. Game face. 

Love, life, everything. 

This weekend reminded me to live life with intent, and not to get so caught up in the mundane, the phantom ‘deadlines’ I create for myself. And this…<3




24 thoughts on “On zoning out and intention.

  1. I love this post – particularly how one little comment from M was all it took for you to snap to it and make a change towards a more intention-filled way of living. I LOVE that. I love that you two had that time together to really re-connect and focus on eachother, shutting out the rest of the world as best as you could. I love weekends like that with Scott. I fall in love with him all over again on those weekends too. I also LOVE the reminder on NEVER zoning out during class — it’s crazy how fast form can suffer when the zone-out happens, and now that we’re seeing it from both sides of the lens, it’s even more eye-opening, huh?

    1. It happens to everyone, I think, at some point or another, when you just get so caught up in what needs to get done vs. what should take priority. And a little reminder here and there is all you need to snap back to reality and what IS important. Not the ‘phantom deadline’ stuff, that’s for sure.

  2. This is actually a thing–my therapist talked to me about it & you can get books on it. It’s called mindfulness. It’s actually an incredibly hard thing to practice (for me it was, anyways) but it seemed to work when I really, really concentrated. That’s sort of why I cannot stay in Twitter/FB/blog mode 24/7, I feel like it takes AWAY from my “real” life in a sense. This was beautiful, thank you for sharing — I can really relate.

    1. mindfulness. YES. Absolutely. It is hard to be mindful of what’s important and the right priorities when all the ‘noise’ of other stuff gets in the way. Glad you liked this and can relate!

  3. I thnk you wrote this post for me!!! I have such a problem with always having my mind running to the next thign and not really being in the moment. I hate that and it’s certanly something I’m working on. It really does make such a difference when you are more aware of your surroundings, loved ones, and experiencing life vs just living it by going through the motions.

    1. Aww! I am glad you can relate, Tina! It is so hard not to rush rush rush all the time and that little reminder just did it for me. I just gotta always remember it! It made a huge difference this weekend! And lessened my anxiety level for sure (don’t need to be anxious about FUN stuff too, ya know?!)

  4. What an amazing partner M is to call you out on the hug. Seriously, I love it. My hubs does the same thing…he calls me out when I flake. Relationships are work, but the best type of work out there I think 🙂 We went out for our Valentine dinner on Saturday night & were shocked at all of the people on their phones – pretty sad that they were missing out on really being with the person they chose to sit across from that night.

    Ohhhh, I’ve wanted to go to Clink at the Liberty hotel for awhile. Must go soon. We went to Masa for dinner – YUMMMMM!!!!

    1. He did call me out on it, in the nicest way possible, but I needed that! And funny enough, he did the same thing to me today, and then felt awful when I called him out on it…so it’s checks and balances right?? Clink!! Yes! WE should meet up there! Masa is where we went on our first date!! 🙂 🙂

  5. Yes exactly! Love this!

    And my guy asks me, “What’s the “pat” for?” Apparently, I pat him on the back when he hugs me and my mind is elsewhere. Ha! They really pay attention, don’t they?

  6. I loved this. Being intentional was one of the assignments my dating coach had me do. When I did it, I realized how often I’m multi-tasking and how much I missed. I think being intentional is going to be my catchphrase for 2012.

  7. Intention is a great word. I heart it. And, what you say here, this is important.

    But. I have to stick up, just a little bit, for also allowing space in our lives to let go, to zone out, to space out, to check out. I know I need that space too.

    It’s a balance, really. Right?

    1. Oh absolutely, we still need the ability to zone out…it’s when you do that TOO much and not enough of the other that throws everything outta whack!

  8. I totally get this. IN fact I have a post just like this one started:) It is so easy to just go by the schedule and your forget to be in the moment when the laundry is done:) I’m with ya. Good for you two to take some pause in life

    1. Right?? I am always thinking about stuff around the house or things I have to do…why bother thinking about them, we both know it’ll get done, right?? Much more important things!

  9. This post made me smile. I dialed a lot in during chemo. And, the last time I saw Best Boy, he asked me to give him another hug since I had done a “pat on the back” hug. Intention. xoxo

    1. I don’t blame you for dialing it in a lot during chemo. I love the example you gave though, that’s so true, I’ve been caught doing that too, not being ‘in’ the hug, or whatever it may be.

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