I’ve never fully believed words spoken to me more than I did last night.
Words spoken by M after I started to fixate on a particular number I saw last night that I wasn’t quite expecting. Now I won’t go into details of that number, because honestly, in the grand scheme of things, it just doesn’t matter. What does matter is how I handled it and what I learned last night.
I thought I would be more upset. I started to fixate.
But then I looked at myself in the mirror. Really looked. And you know what? I look GOOD. I do. I have worked really hard. Numbers don’t always show the true picture, in my opinion. It’s how you look, feel, and how your clothes fit.
And in the grand scheme of things, there are far more bigger things in life than worrying about numbers. Thank you again Susan for such a perspective-laden post. It’s one I will honestly always look to when I start to go down negative paths.
“The number only has as much power as you give it.”
I didn’t give it power. I used my own willpower to combat any fixations from happening. I used my own willpower not to go down a self-defeating path, tearing myself apart. I used my own willpower to turn around the negativity that was brewing into positivity. Mind over matter. I am winning this battle against overthinking, anxiety, and negative self-image and body-image.
Six months ago, I didn’t think it was possible. Three months ago, I didn’t think it was possible. But now? It is. It feels vindicating, as though I’ve won the battle against myself. I’m winning it, and I don’t ever want to go back to letting it win over me again.
It feels like I can breathe again. Today is a new day. And it feels so good.
In other news…I am excited to see that my running challenge is getting some interest from this fabulous blog-land (see my sister’s fun post on our twitter chatter the other night, it was priceless!). Lee is in, and I think Alicia might be too. Nikki as well, but for yoga and ‘twitter accountability.’
Who else wants to join?? I seriously think it is going to help me, and others, get through the cold winter months and keep up the momentum we’ve all built up all year long. Bring it ON!!