The thing about blogging.

*Lately, I’ve been struggling with blogging. With what I want to focus on, how much I want to disclose as my relationship with M progresses, etc. I feel as though I go through this cyclical phase of exploring where I want to take my blog quite a bit, but lately, this phase has stuck around a bit. This is just my take on things right now, swirling through my brain. Not looking for specific feedback, per se, as I am sure we have each hit this phase once or twice ourselves, in this bloggy world we live in!**

The thing about blogging…

…is without focus, what is blogging? Random thoughts? Not goal-oriented or shaped towards a specific audience?

…if I blog for me, why do I care if my audience is scattered and not of ‘one’ focus? Do I?

…I am an open book. Those who know me IRL (and blog friends of course) know what’s going on in my relationship, deep down feelings, my body image struggles of past, and what I’m doing on a daily/weekly basis. Do I want that much transparency anymore?

…being open to opinions, criticism and (sometimes) unwarranted advice or assumptions based on what I am writing. Again, open book. Do I really want that? Do I need it? Some things are sometimes best left in my head, or told to those I care about.

…the thing about blogging is that I don’t want to stop. But where do I go from here? Stalemate.

I love blogging. But I sometimes struggle with focus and content. And never want to get to a place where I feel like I need to blog or that I have to keep talking about topics that I’ve talked about in the past (my relationship with M, divorce, perspective, running, barre n9ne…). Does that mean I am at a point where I stop? Where I start a new, more focused blog, if I think of a topic I want to write about?

I don’t have the answers. I need to think about it. More than I already have. Figure out if it matters to me whether my blog has a unified focus. Whether I want to start fresh – again – or whether I simply evolve this blog – again – into something else. Maybe I won’t write about my relationship much anymore. Maybe my blog served its purpose on that topic and now it’s time to change it and keep that part of my life a little more private.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Possibilities. Are. Endless.Ā 

The thing about blogging…where to go from here?

61 thoughts on “The thing about blogging.

  1. I hear ya. Today’s post for me almost feels like a test. I talk about friendships and HS Marine in it and I really fear there are going to be a lot of “screw him!” comments and a probably a few emails or comments telling me I’m a crap friend. I’m walking the line right now and I’m just not sure which way I’m going to fall.

    1. I read your post and I sure hope you don’t get comments like that…but I guess that’s part of what we open ourselves up to when we blog – criticism and opinions. It’s one thing I have learned to try and have a thick skin over, but it isn’t easy to get feedback you don’t agree with, at the same time.

  2. You know I’ve struggled with this same thing, and it’s the reason I stopped blogging. I still miss it, less now than when I first quit. And I’ve tried to figure out how to start fresh with a new direction in my writing, but so far I haven’t been able to come up with a direction. I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve been where you are. Quitting was good for me and for my life, I miss it sometimes, but for now I’m satisfied to stay connected using Twitter.

    1. That’s the thing…for me, I don’t necessary want to stop. I don’t feel like I have to write every day or that often, I write when I am compelled to. And if it trails off for a bit, so be it, I guess, right? Time will tell…

  3. See, the thing is, I DO think that your blog has a focus: you. This is your story. Your struggles, your triumphs, your thoughts and experiences in this life. Some things some people can relate to more than others, but each person who comes here to read comes here to read about you.

  4. I agree with Momma Sunshine. I think we all keep coming back because this is about you, we love reading about your journey (struggles. happy times, all of it b/c we can all relate in some way). So it’s not about divorce, it’s not just about exercise, it’s about everything that happens that shapes who you are and where you’re at. And I find you very inspiring.

    1. ((hugs)) thank you friend! That means so much. I guess the focus thing…I want it to be one focus, but why does it have to be, just because it has been previously? No rules here!

    2. I’ve been lurking here for quite some time. I started a few months ago before leaving my husband (I’ve been separated now for just over a month). I too find your story, you just being you, inspiring. You are in a place that I hope to be someday. You have moved on. You are no longer in pain. You aren’t just surviving, but thriving.

      Keep up with the blogging if you like doing it. Maybe read up with some google searching on ways to improve your blog and/or how to come up with great topics etc. I’ve been doing this and I just started my blog ( and am not sure where to go with it or if it needs “focus”

      Do you read Penelope Trunk’s blog? She has some great ideas on blogging in her archives (

      1. aww! THANK YOU for coming out ‘from hiding’ and commenting. I will most certainly read your blog and I am so glad that you are finding my posts helpful! Seriously, that means so much more than you probably know. Good luck on your journey, it’s a long road but so worth it.

  5. Totally agree with Heather and with Momma Sunshine on this one — your blog IS you. That’s why we all love it.

    But to your point about keeping things less “open book”? I sometimes wonder if I need to do more of that too. Or even consider not blogging anymore. I love to blog, I do. But sometimes I think about how much time it takes and wonder if I’m selling my “IRL” short by being so connected online (even though I try so hard to keep good balance, it doesn’t always happen).

    1. I don’t think you are too much of an open book on your blog at all. But good point on staying ‘too’ connected too. I have pared back a lot, but still, it is a lot of work, at the same time, all good and fun though, so I still like doing it, it’s more a question of frequency I guess too.

  6. Momma Sunshine and Heather are right – it’s about you. It tracks what **you** are interested in/thinking of at any point in time, without getting stuck with feeling obliged to write about any one thing. I think that maybe mixing it up like you do keeps you interested in blogging, and everyone else coming back – for the way you tell your story, and not necessarily for what the story is.

    1. Aw, thank you so much, that was a really well-put comment. I really appreciate that, thank you for weighing in (I agree, switching it up helps, I think, and helps keep ME engaged in it too!) šŸ™‚

  7. Blogging gets boring. That’s why I did the military thing. Often the things you think are the most boring things about you turn out to be the things people LOVE to hear. And sometimes it feels good to “relive” that part of yourself through writing.

    1. Relive that part of you through writing…good point, maybe I need to do some more ‘throwback’s at some point and story telling. I love that.

  8. Oh, and PS, I typically find that when things are “right” in my world, I have less to disclose. I’m content at home and in life, and sort of want to keep it to myself. Maybe you’re going through the same? šŸ˜‰

  9. The great thing about blogging is that you can write whatever the hell you want. It’s your blog and you can do what you want with it. And if people don’t like what you write then oh well – the people who do are the ones who will be your friend IRL!

    p.s. I want to be your friend IRL… šŸ™‚

  10. I just had this discussion with a real life friend that I made through blogging. You blog for you. You blog the things that you want to record and remember. Don’t try to please anyone else by only writing on certain topics or feel pressured to post daily. Blog as you feel prompted to, on what you feel compelled to record/share. This is your own personal space to do as you wish – we are all just fortunate to read. *end soapbox* šŸ™‚

    1. AMEN! I agree with you Naomi, and what everyone has said regarding writing for me and when I want to write etc. I’ve struggled more with focus for what I write, but I guess you and others are also right in that I am writing about my life and what interests me. If people like it, great, and if not, that’s ok too.

  11. I think we’ve all been in the this position! I know I have anyway. Sometimes it changes from day to day. I love blogging, feeling great about it, and then the next day I don’t know if I want to even post anymore. I’ve been much more relaxed with my scheduling of posts, taking multiple days off, etc. to accommodate my lifestyle, but overall, I blog when I have something I want to share! I think you have to do what’s best for you and your life, and I know you will figure that out with some time and reflection. But don’t let it be a stress factor in your life. (That’s the advice I give to myself as well!) xo

    1. Dorry, the way you just put it is EXACTLY how I feel. I need to maybe pull back just a bit more. I don’t write on weekends but I do write on most days (again, only if I have something to say)…but lately, even that has seemed like a lot (less topic to day ratio!). It shouldn’t be stressful, it should be natural.

  12. I deal with this all the time but ultimately, I feel like I blog about my life and sometimes my life is mostly training for a race and food and sometimes it’s something completely different.

    The blogs that I enjoy the most are just about life, which is always ebbs and flows.

    1. Ebbs and flows…yes, so true. That’s probably why I’ve been feeling the way I do, maybe I’m in more of a flow right now, and sometimes that means less ‘fodder’ so to speak šŸ˜‰

  13. I feel like I’m at a crossroads with my blog, but in wanting to improve the quality of my writing. That for me means a lot more personal posts but that can get exhausting – always reflecting, always trying to improve. I want to find a way to write better while just being. Is that even possible?!

    1. SO true! I feel the same way sometimes about mine…I want to be naturally reflective and personal but sometimes I just don’t have it in me. They DO take a lot out of me, even though they are the most worthwhile posts. Mixing it up with more light topics helps…and for the record, I love your posts, especially lately! XO

  14. i tend to write with more purpose and direction when i’m bummed out – y’know, out with the bad energy and all that. when i’m content, i just don’t have a lot to say besides, “yep, still pretty good.” i don’t find that interesting. but i do it anyway. it’s discipline. and i like to let the world know i’m still out there, at least the five of y’all who care. šŸ™‚

  15. What a lovely night for me to come back:) It is so hard to remember why we do this sometimes….we get caught up in, what? I’m not sure. It is okay. Just remain true to you.

  16. Your blog is you. Yes, what I wanted to say has been said.

    I’ve felt much the same way as well. I’m not writing near like I used to. The thoughts still swirl around and some pretty amazing things come to mind but I just don’t have the time to write them down… then I start to think, eh, who really misses it when I don’t put it into words. They’re nothing more than my ever-evolving search for me. Is that really all that interesting?

    But to those of you who love me, read and comment (as you always do! So sweet!), I realize that I want to stay in touch. I’m just allowing myself some time off, here and there.

    Love you. Happy to continue to know you and how you’re doing in your life. Whatever you wish to share. (And if you don’t, I know how to stalk you. šŸ˜‰

    1. I guess we are all going through these ebbs and flows lately. I MISS your posts when you aren’t able to post as often, but I also understand why you can’t post as often and don’t necessarily choose to. And it makes coming into Google Reader and seeing a new post that much more exciting to go read šŸ™‚ XOXO!

  17. I hear you…mostly because I struggle with the same thing! It’s like I have no idea what to say sometimes…which bothers me (why? No idea). I really don’t have any advice, just an empathetic ear. šŸ™‚

  18. What about a challenge so to speak? Like for 52 weeks, you have to do something from a bucket list. Could be pretty entertaining,,,,

    Your list could be geocaching, go to a play downtown, speaking only in a British accent for an entire dinner out, go for a hike, skydiving, go to a salsa dance lesson, walk on fire, test drive a ferrari, climb the statue of liberty, be an extra in a movie, donate blood, go on a whalewatch, experience zero gravity..

  19. Funny, Sam doesn’t seem to care about me writing about us anymore. He’s used to it. He knows it’s something of an online journal for me. Blogging is voyeurism at its finest.

    Do what makes you happy.

    1. M doesn’t care. It’s not about that. It’s more me not wanting a lot of opinions on my relationship…or assumptions based on what I write. If that makes sense.

  20. The beauty about blogging is that you’re the one in control. You get to choose what topics you write about, and how much you reveal about your personal life. You’re the editor! šŸ˜‰

  21. I struggled with this for a while. I like posting general stuff about my day, but it gets boring (in my opinion). I finally decided I need a little focus and found 3 things that I know a LOT about. Throughout the week, I post something that applies to those 3 things and the rest is just me and food and food pics. I can’t please everybody, but I love to look back and see where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. Or worse….finding out I’m not living..just existing and those are the times I don’t post anything. That’s what motivates me. Recording the living.

    1. I LOVE your approach to your blog and how you focus it. That is exactly what I need to keep in mind. Three things. That’s awesome. Thank you for weighing in!

  22. I’ve been thinking about that lately too. My divorce is done – well, official on Nov 24th. So there’s not much more to talk about in terms on that. I’m in a new relationship, but have been struggling with how much of it I want to share, which is why I’ve shared pretty much nothing. So if I don’t want to talk about that – what do I want to talk about. I’m sure people don’t care about my days at work, or my grocery list or my new found love of yoga. It is a struggle indeed.

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