You know when you’re supposed to know.

The other day, I noticed ‘brainy blonde’ (the almost-coulda-been guy I dated for a few months about 9 months before meeting M) got married.

And honestly, I smiled. I was really happy for him.


Because he followed his path and went for it with a woman he was meant to be with. When he broke things off with me, he told me that he had a chance meeting with a former classmate when he went home for Thanksgiving and there was just something about their connection over coffee that he had to pursue. He couldn’t explain it, he just knew it was what he had to do. It was all very honest and very forthcoming and I believed it when he told me.

She was the woman he married last week.

I just found that incredible. He really DID know she was the one for him. Sure, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something there, something pulling him in that direction.

And that example is yet another reason why I firmly stand behind that statement – you know when you’re supposed to know. Not always immediately, not always the minute you meet someone. Soon after, sure, but it’s not always the fairy tale ‘I knew it was my future husband the minute I met him’ kind of thing.

And it’s why I look over at M this evening and think about how incredibly glad I am that ‘brainy blonde’ did what he did. Because what if…what if we kept dating, what if I never met M? And not to put all credit towards that breakup at all, but it just speaks to the fact that there is someone out there for all of us…it may not be the first one, it may not even be the one you end up marrying (clearly for me!), but there is. In some circuitous way, there is someone out there for us.

After I found out that ‘brainy blonde’ got married, my mind wandered to my ex-husband. I haven’t talked to him in months (again), but I know he was getting serious with the girl he was dating. And I wonder if she is the one for him. I wonder if he’s found what I have with M. And I honestly hope that he has. I hope that he’s found what he never found with me, what he ended our marriage to find. I hope that for him. I know it sounds weird, but I do.

And I guess I am just constantly amazed at how much more I believe that there isn’t (always) just one person for everyone…that sometimes you are with someone that teaches you a lot, that you go through years of love and life together with, only to come to a point where that is the end of your journey together…and you move forward, you pick up the pieces, and you realize that maybe there is a lot more truth in that than you thought. And then you meet M and you realize it’s true. There’s somebody out there for all of us…it just might not be the one you marry. (first)


33 thoughts on “You know when you’re supposed to know.

  1. Fantastic – absolutely love this. You just never ever know do you. At one moment it’s heartache but in the end, you’ve lived, learned, and met the love of your life. Is it fate? Is it circumstance? maybe it is how you react to situations and how you leave yourself open to something new. Sometimes, things really truly do happen for a reason.

    1. I firmly believe that things certainly do happen for a reason. And seeing that on Facebook once again firmed it up for me. Just incredible what decisions like that can turn into, isn’t it?

    1. Aw! I love that!! It’s SO amazing what those chance meetings turn into, isn’t it? Can’t believe almost two years for you two! Congrats!

  2. Wow. This is fantastic… and I read it at the perfect time. (Read the email I just sent you!)

    It’s amazing how things fall into place. What else can I say? 🙂 xoxo

  3. I agree that each relationship counts and can bring something for us. I also agree with the “when you know you know” thing. That’s how it was for Peter and I at least.

    And above all that, what I loved most about this post is your happiness for him…because it speaks as to how happy and fulfilled YOU are.

    1. Each relationship brings SO much to us, no matter if it’s a lifelong one or not. And thank you for recognizing what struck me too…my happy reaction for him. A fulfilled life will do that I guess, huh? feeling blessed.

  4. I truly believe that we all have a plan – how long it takes us to get to different points along that “plan” is up to us based upon the decisions we make. It’s nice to be able to look back on relationships and see the value that they brought to our lives. I agree, when you know, you know!

  5. Totally agree with Tina – what struck me in this post sis is just how happy you are for brainy blond. Speaks volumes about where you are in your relationship with M. You two are truly where you’re meant to be right now. I love it.

    1. Thank you sis. I agree. And also think it speaks volumes as to following your gut and making a tough choice at the time and what that can do for your future.

    1. ((hug)) Aww! This comment made my day 🙂 Didn’t realize this post would elicit such reaction, to be honest! (those are my favorite kind!!). Thank you for your tweet!!

  6. I completely understand this. I was willing to make it work with my ex for the sake of the kids for as long as I could, but then I couldn’t do it anymore. And I’m glad I went through what I went through, even with S, because now I know. Now I am where I am meant to be. I have my best friend. We love, we live, we laugh, we play, and yes…we even disagree. It isn’t scary in the least. It’s such a good place to be.

    SO glad to see where you are… Sending hugs!

  7. As hard as it must have been to recover post-divorce, I am totally with you. Everything happens for a reason…even if at the time, you cannot understand why “it” is happening.

    So glad you and M found each other!!

    1. Thanks friend! I agree with you. And understanding why ‘it’ happens is what so many struggle with…and never find that closure. Until something like this happens and then it’s that ephiphany that they needed. Ya know?

  8. Do you know what I love most about this post? The fact that the blonde dude was so honest with you and up-front. He could have pulled a fade, or made up some stupid reason why you were breaking up, or tried to make it your fault, or even ignored how he felt.

    Instead, he was honest and he communicated his situation. It might have stung at the time, but look how it ended up. Plus – I bet you respected him for his honesty and openness.

    We should all date like that dude. Wouldn’t life be easier? But then, what would all the dating blogs be about? 😉

    1. Ya know, that felt very honorary when he was so upfront and honest. It was very heartfelt. That’s probably why I feel the way I do towards him and his eventual marriage! Too bad there aren’t many out there that are that honest and open, ya know??

  9. Aww – that’s great for ‘brainy blonde’ and his wife! It does seem like everything worked out as it was meant to. I loved the paragraph in which you talk about how there can be more than one person that we’re meant to be with. I’ve found that to be very true, and I have a feeling that I’m in store for more ;)! xoxo

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