Feeling spoiled.

I am feeling spoiled.

…because I now live with the man I love in a place that honestly feels far too nice to be MINE. Too new, too luxurious, too…perfect.

(but we deserve it. We both work hard, we are driven, we have come a long way, separately and together, and this place will become our haven for our next chapter together)

…because I spend countless hours taking barre n9ne classes every week and though they are 10-12 person class size, the attention, the energy and the results make me feel like they are 1:1 training sessions. Each and every time.

(I feel blessed that I can afford to continue going as often as I do, continuing on this barre n9ne challenge with my sister. Last night’s class felt like somewhat of a breakthrough for us. I looked in the mirror and actually thought ‘wow, we look GOOD!’ and for me to think that and not want to squash down a compliment that I was giving in my head to myself – talk about crazy – is a sign that my self-image issues are waning with each and every day)

…because I’ve had an entire summer without work travel. Since MAY. And the flexibility to work remotely each and every day allows me to do things like get to many of the aforementioned barre n9ne classes as possible, to get stuff done during the day, multitask, errands, a walk around the block. You name it. So on those days where I am feeling blah from staring at a computer all day without much interaction other than the phone, I consider myself lucky to be ABLE to be so focused and productive. (I’m even having my first review next week…wow. And to think I am coming upon a year at this job? a YEAR? Didn’t I *just* start? January isn’t *that* far away!).

(so it makes the fact that I now have to travel on my anniversary with M – sniff, MY birthday – sniff, sniff and then on M’s birthday a few days later – sniff, sniff, sniff, a wee bit easier to stomach, especially because in three weeks, we’re going to wine country together AND I was able to get out of cutting that trip sort to go to an event in Austin because of aforementioned personal conflicts with travel. My job? Couldn’t be much better.)

Life feels downright spoiling right now, and it begs that sneaking worry that creeps in every so often…waiting for the other shoe to drop. I pray, I have faith, I do my best not to think of such negativity, but when life feels so blessed, it’s almost hard not to. But rather than worry, I am going to thank God for what He’s provided me, rejoice the spoiledΒ blessed feeling and solider on.



26 thoughts on “Feeling spoiled.

  1. It’s such a great feeling when everything seems to fall into place. Just remember to enjoy every bit of it rather than spoiling it by waiting for the bad to fall. It will happen, of course it will. But you can’t predict it. So enjoy the present.

    1. Ya know? So true. I’m sure it;ll happen at some point. A new challenge, a new ‘thing’ to overcome. But for now, I’ve done so much of that, why not revel in it just a wee bit?

    1. I know, you are right. I should. I just feel that guilty feeling creeping in again. When others around me are struggling, I am feeling so happy. Feels wrong in some way.

  2. ENJOY.

    That is all.

    “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”
    ~ Meister Eckhart

    (my fave quote ever)

  3. it’s SO hard to let the happy just be happy, eh? i work so hard to focus on my abundance of riches. i get my fair share of lectures from the man about that. and he is always right.

    but man, that sounds like a pretty fantastic set of circumstances. yay for the new place in particular! πŸ™‚

  4. just saying “hi”. stumbled here from lee’s blog and enjoying reading old posts but prefer commenting on the newer one. love seeing another woman who has come through a divorce (mine has been emotionally done for a while but is 100% legally done YESTERDAY….took too long…) and has now found a MUCH better match. it is amazing how much i did NOT see that was wrong before (he broke it off)…i didn’t know i deserved more (i should have…totally made me feel inferior) until i met someone RIGHT. it is amazing to see how GOOD a relationship can be and i am glad you seem to have found a great REAL match after a wrong turn

    1. Wow! SO glad you found me!! (Lee is great!) Sounds exactly as I felt after my divorce. While it wasn’t my decision at the time, I truly believe it was the best decision for both of us. Deserved more and didn’t even realize I didn’t HAVE more. Congrats on the finality of yours!! Will bookmark your blog and read up!!

  5. Life with an attitude of gratitude is so much richer. I always find that when I sit down and bask in the good and appreciate it that life just gets better and better. Love this for you!

  6. You ARE spoiled! Haha, but you deserve it and you both work hard for it therefore you’ve also earned it.

    So glad you and M have managed to set up shop in the new place already. πŸ™‚

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