After I wrote my parallels post and started seeing the comments and exceptionally well thought out and relatable comments, I realized something.
What would I do…if I didn’t blog?
Seriously. I can’t think of what I DID when something was bothering me, or if I needed advice, or if I just wanted to document a moment, a milestone or big rock.
I’ve been blogging since February 2009 and while 2+ years is certainly a long time, I feel like there’s been a landslide or mindshift moment (or 50!) where I realize that this is where I belong. No matter what I write, who reads, who comments, if people comment, or disagree or applaud, this is my haven.
Before I started my (first) blog, (which was basically a few months after my divorce started in October 2008), as I’ve said before, I don’t think I was ever truly tested to the core like I was going through that time period in my life. Honestly, my life before my divorce was really pretty damn smooth. So, in a way, I don’t think I would have even considered a blog where I pour out my feelings like I do here, because life then, looking back, just seemed easier.
Not that I would trade my life now for the world. Nope, not ever. I never want to go back. This is my life now, and it’s because of that time period that ultimately began shaping me and pushing me to be the me I am now…divorce happened for me, not to me.
Okay, that was a digression.
The point of my post is this…besides wondering what I did pre-blog and meeting all of you wonderful people, I sometimes wonder if my thought process on a day to day basis, the analysis of my feelings, motives, actions, relationship, workouts, running, and life in general would be as heightened as it is.
Does my blog make me more of an overthinker? Or does it just help me sort through my feelings better than just letting them marinate or fester on their own?
I used to think that sometimes my blog, and the feedback (good and constructive) I got, would make me just think too much and drive myself crazy.
But now, I just find so much value in different perspectives, experiences and support. Just the last two posts alone and all of your beautiful words….just stun me sometimes. So, thank you, for those that comment, for those that lurk, and for those that I feel have become part of my life, in a way.
So…what would I do, if I didn’t blog?
I don’t know. Because I can’t answer that question, because this is my haven.