**First of all, THANK YOU all for the abundance of comments yesterday, filled with encouragement, suggestions and faith. I feel so blessed to have you all and I am proud to say today’s ‘test run’ with my sis went well. I am feeling confident…just got to keep it going!!)**
Well, here we are, six months later from my first week of work (January 4) and that letter to myself I wrote on January 7. I am excited to revisit it and finally read it again, since I didn’t allow myself to until today. My comments in bold in my ‘letter to me’:
Well, hello there. How YOU doin?
(said in your most Joey-from-Friends Italian voice possible. Giggle).
June2011 (make that July…). It’s been six months since your first day at the new job.
You started out confident, I’m proud of you.
You tested your chops at first, and then just let ‘er rip (because you need to, especially before your boss went on maternity leave in
April). (make that March!! Two weeks early!)
You had some big rocks. And you had some failures (but those were good learning experiences). (this is so true. There were so many times I just felt defeated and as if I wasn’t proving myself, but then, there were others, like after the big launch we had that went so well. I call that a big rock, like whoa!)
You flew to California. A lot.
Like, 12 times. At least. (but at least you hung out with fun bloggy friends a lot, too) (I DID fly a lot. At first. But during my boss’s maternity leave? I flew ONCE. Phew. Total of 8 trips vs. 12. Made a huge difference to my mental psyche!)
And you took a trip to
Mexico(Jamaica) with M in February(March), and it was amazing. Just what you needed to recoup (and get some sun. And you worked hard so you felt good in that bathing suit. Give yourself some credit). (I am SO glad we took this trip to Jamaica, it was exactly what we needed before I dove into things singlehandedly for 3 months…though the bathing suit thing? Yeah, I felt the worst I have ever felt, if I am being perfectly honest. Looking back…and thinking about how I feel now. Thank you barre n9ne!)
You realized that although it seemed so hard at first. The constant travel. The week-long trips away from your family, your cats and M. It took a toll on you, but also on M. But he supported you through it, even when it was hard. (One of my last trips out, in April, was probably the toughest given M was in a really tough place mentally, as he neared the deadline for his capstone. We held it together as best we could though, and I am so thankful we went through that test together, though I am also SO happy not to be traveling as much anymore.)
And you had some fun, too. Figuring it out along the way, and letting go just a little bit more. Putting that game face on and realizing that you’re no longer ‘faking it’ but you’re makin’ it. You are strong, confident and know your shit. (more than ever, I stand by this statement. 100%. Now that my boss is back, I feel SO much better and SO much more sure of myself. We have a good partnership going and we are going to be able to do so much more together. I have learned a shitton (yes, a shitton) since January, and to think how much more I’ll learn? Wow.)
You did it.
You stayed uncomfortable probably 99% of the time. But it pushed you to succeed. <damn straight!!
I knew you had it in you, even when you wanted to cry on your third day of work because you were tired, homesick, and feeling stretched.
You’re there. You got this.
Me <((me)) <giving myself a hug, yeah, that’s right
Wow. Thinking back through the last six months…so much has happened. Personally, professionally and all around me. This is the biggest learning curve I have ever experienced and being thrown in, no net, for half of that time, forced me to just DO, just ACT, and not question myself (too much). I will say that if I had known it was going to be three months at the outset of my boss’s maternity leave (she ended up going out two weeks early and staying out two weeks later), I think it would have felt far more daunting. So for that, I am grateful. Blissful ignorance? In this case, I’ll take it.
Here’s to the next six months…in my job, as I look forward towards moving in with M, facing my fears about my upcoming half marathon and continuing on the barre n9ne challenge (two weeks left – sniff, but it’s JUST the beginning!). A-frickin-men to that!!