A letter to myself 6 months later: revisited.

**First of all, THANK YOU all for the abundance of comments yesterday, filled with encouragement, suggestions and faith. I feel so blessed to have you all and I am proud to say today’s ‘test run’ with my sis went well. I am feeling confident…just got to keep it going!!)**

~~

Well, here we are, six months later from my first week of work (January 4) and that letter to myself I wrote on January 7. I am excited to revisit it and finally read it again, since I didn’t allow myself to until today. My comments in bold in my ‘letter to me’:

Dear me:

Well, hello there. How YOU doin?

(said in your most Joey-from-Friends Italian voice possible. Giggle).

It’s June 2011 (make that July…). It’s been six months since your first day at the new job.

You started out confident, I’m proud of you.

You tested your chops at first, and then just let ‘er rip (because you need to, especially before your boss went on maternity leave in April). (make that March!! Two weeks early!)

You had some big rocks. And you had some failures (but those were good learning experiences). (this is so true. There were so many times I just felt defeated and as if I wasn’t proving myself, but then, there were others, like after the big launch we had that went so well. I call that a big rock, like whoa!)

You flew to California. A lot.

Like, 12 times. At least. (but at least you hung out with fun bloggy friends a lot, too) (I DID fly a lot. At first. But during my boss’s maternity leave? I flew ONCE. Phew. Total of 8 trips vs. 12. Made a huge difference to my mental psyche!)

And you took a trip to Mexico  (Jamaica) with M in February (March), and it was amazing. Just what you needed to recoup (and get some sun. And you worked hard so you felt good in that bathing suit. Give yourself some credit). (I am SO glad we took this trip to Jamaica, it was exactly what we needed before I dove into things singlehandedly for 3 months…though the bathing suit thing? Yeah, I felt the worst I have ever felt, if I am being perfectly honest. Looking back…and thinking about how I feel now. Thank you barre n9ne!)

You realized that although it seemed so hard at first. The constant travel. The week-long trips away from your family, your cats and M. It took a toll on you, but also on M. But he supported you through it, even when it was hard. (One of my last trips out, in April, was probably the toughest given M was in a really tough place mentally, as he neared the deadline for his capstone. We held it together as best we could though, and I am so thankful we went through that test together, though I am also SO happy not to be traveling as much anymore.)

And you had some fun, too. Figuring it out along the way, and letting go just a little bit more. Putting that game face on and realizing that you’re no longer ‘faking it’ but you’re makin’ it. You are strong, confident and know your shit. (more than ever, I stand by this statement. 100%. Now that my boss is back, I feel SO much better and SO much more sure of myself. We have a good partnership going and we are going to be able to do so much more together. I have learned a shitton (yes, a shitton) since January, and to think how much more I’ll learn? Wow.)

You did it.

You stayed uncomfortable probably 99% of the time. But it pushed you to succeed. <damn straight!!

I knew you had it in you, even when you wanted to cry on your third day of work because you were tired, homesick, and feeling stretched.

You’re there. You got this.

Signed,

Me <((me)) <giving myself a hug, yeah, that’s right

(the overthinker-who-loves-her-routine-yet-let-it-go-just-a-wee-bit-and-realized-it’s-not-so-bad-and-you-can-always-make-a-new-routine)

Wow. Thinking back through the last six months…so much has happened. Personally, professionally and all around me. This is the biggest learning curve I have ever experienced and being thrown in, no net, for half of that time, forced me to just DO, just ACT, and not question myself (too much). I will say that if I had known it was going to be three months at the outset of my boss’s maternity leave (she ended up going out two weeks early and staying out two weeks later), I think it would have felt far more daunting. So for that, I am grateful. Blissful ignorance? In this case, I’ll take it.

Here’s to the next six months…in my job, as I look forward towards moving in with M, facing my fears about my upcoming half marathon and continuing on the barre n9ne challenge (two weeks left – sniff, but it’s JUST the beginning!). A-frickin-men to that!!

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25 thoughts on “A letter to myself 6 months later: revisited.

  1. This was AWESOME to read. You sound almost like a different person today than you were on that day six months ago. Unreal how much has changed in that timeframe – not just on the work front but in all areas of your life. You are growing so much, and I LOVE to watch it, and to participate in that growth right along with you. very cool. happy 6 months sis!!

    1. Thanks sis, glad you liked it 🙂 It was fun to re-read and think back over the last 6 months. And now to the next 6…for both of us! High five sis!

  2. Love it! What a great exercise for you! The best line is, simply, “You did it.” Because we often don’t think we *can* do it – it always seems so insurmountable before we actually do it. But we always do.

  3. That’s awesome! So proud of you! And what a fun idea to write a letter to yourself. I go back and read blog posts and am amazed at where I was at some points…

    1. Thank you T 🙂 It was fun to do and something I will probably do again at some point. Maybe instead of a new year’s resolutions post or something.

  4. You’ve had such a growing/learning past 6 months – so great! I love taking time to reflect and recognize how much we’ve experienced and all the changes we see in ourselves. That’s what life it about!

    1. It was really awesome to look back and re-read and have it really sink in, ya know? Life IS about reflecting and progress and seeing the good in change! I agree!

  5. Yeeeeaaahhhhh!

    You know, I really REALLY appreciate that you have spent some energy and time into looking back in your life, reviewing what has happened, acknowledging the tough times, and celebrating how FAR you have come! I worry too few of us do this – the reviewing and the celebrating. We’re so forward focused… when looking back can really give us our footing, our perspective, AND our motivation to keep it the F up!

    Cheers, mah dear! Perhaps we will have to get that drink sometime this summer… 😉

    1. Yes, I think we DO need to get that drink…juuuust saying ;-P
      And THANK YOU for calling that out, I agree with you. I for one, love to look forward, but I think there is tremendous value in looking back too. Hindsight is a bitch and a blessing all in one sometimes, isn’t it? 🙂

  6. You are clearly a much stronger woman than you were 6 months ago! You’re more confident, too, which is SO important. SO excited for you to move in with your love and to get to your half in August!!! Keepin’ rockin’, beautiful!

  7. Wow, I don’t know about you, but that six months flew by for me. It seems like it was just a few weeks ago you posted that. I’m glad you weathered the new job so well, not that I had any doubt. 🙂

    1. Ha-ha! That’s too funny. It DOES feel like it flew by in many ways, but in some ways, it feels like just yesterday. Thank you for your ongoing support!!

  8. Yay you! You DID do it and came through it all in a stronger relationship with M, with the respect of your boss and co-workers, and with a increased self acceptance! Yay you!!! xoxo

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