After witnessing one of very few weddings that I can honestly say I connected with in every way, I am more sure than ever that M is the one I’m meant to be with…hopefully forever.
It’s the first time I haven’t said ‘for as long as we’re meant to’ instead of ‘forever’ and I think that’s because of two reasons: I still have held back just a wee bit in surrendering my heart completely to M, even though I knew deep down that he is the one for me, and because I have said before that after going through divorce, that I don’t know that I believe that there is just one person for everyone. While I still believe that in some sense, I think that there IS the one you’re meant to be with forever (it just might take a few different partners to strike it just right).
The wedding was…perfect. The vows spoken blew me away and as much as I tried to hold back the tears, once the groom started shedding some as he spoke his short but utterly perfect vows, I was done. Tears were flowing and I held M’s hand tight. The words that did it? When he said “when I tried to put into words for K what I feel, I couldn’t. And not because I didn’t have the words, but because I think when you meet that person, you just know. And there aren’t words to properly convey that.” (paraphrasing here)
And K’s words to B were exactly how I think mine would go (ya know…if I were ever saying vows again at some point in the future and all, hypothetically, of course…), as she talked about the bumpy road that led her to B, and the pain that it took to get to where she (and they) are today. The ‘why’ factor and how it was all utterly worth it.
As I sat next to M, my heart swelled. As we walked around Central Park taking it all in, hugging and kissing and just enjoying the day, I could feel it more. Tangible. As we attended the happy hour at the Boat House, and then dinner at i Coppi, I couldn’t get close enough to M. More PDA than I’ve displayed before (don’t worry, nothing R rated!!). We talked quietly about weddings and he asked if it was something I ever wanted again. This. The hoopla. I told him no, I don’t want a wedding, but yes, I do want a marriage. To him.
I do. I really am more sure than ever that eventually…I completely see myself marrying this man.
More sure than ever.