I wrote about feeling blocked last week, and while I still feel like I am flailing at focus in my posts and in my blog (period), I think I am realizing why I feel so blocked.
Because, sometimes, I feel like a hypocrite.
I continue to read through some of my go-to bloggy reads (consisting of a potpourri of singles, post-divorced, those struggling with weight or self esteem issues etc) and try and offer my perspective on some of their struggles they’ve written about. Not meeting the right one, struggling with go-nowhere dates, wanting love, hating their bodies, struggling with diets, or workouts, or health issues.
And as I write, I feel like a hypocrite. Because even though I’ve been there, in many of these situations, to some capacity, right now, I am absolutely happy. I feel like I am in one of the best places of my life right now. Love. Work. Life. Fitness. Motivation. Healthy Eating.
And when I write these comments which I try to approach as heartfelt as I can without sounding preachy or commiserating to the point of it being over the top, I feel like what I am saying still isn’t helpful. It might feel like a slap in the face (exactly what I DON’T want), or a sting of ‘I want that now too’ because I DO have it. I absolutely do. All the struggles I have gone through seem a distant memory as I march towards the three-year mark since my divorce began. And almost a year since I’ve been able to happily step OUT of the dating game. Sure, my body image struggles are still there, but with the barre n9ne challenge, running, and food log, I am conquering it.
So where does that leave me and all that I try to put into this blog and my posts sharing my perspective on post-divorce life? I feel so been-there-done-that in some aspects and I can only write so many happiness posts without also coming across as preachy, *too* puppies and rainbows (even for me!) or just plain boring.
This is my struggle. This is why I am blocked. This is why I feel like I need to re-evaluate the focus of my blog and figure out where I want to take it, if I want to take it anywhere.
Sometimes, I feel like a hypocrite, when that is the last thing I ever want to possibly do.