How I felt Saturday night…at the first wedding I’ve gone to with M since we met.
I felt beautiful, for the very first time in a long time.
I felt confident, for the very first time in a long time.
I felt progress, tangible progress, in my 60 day challenge journey, for the very first time…in pictures (I have felt progress since day one, of course, but this is the first time I really could see it and that felt, well, indescribable (as did all of your comments on the picture I posted to Facebook, almost hesitantly, because I typically don’t post pictures of um, just me).
And I felt love. So much love for M. The way he looked at me, the way he told me how beautiful I looked and how he is the luckiest guy in the world…for once, I believed him.
The night felt magical (despite the wedding itself, which, not gonna lie, was so, um, not my style…not that weddings usually are, but more on that later hehe) because I was with the man I love, slow dancing for the first time since my divorce (yeah, it’s been that long) and smiling from ear to ear.
To know that I am capable of accepting myself and not hating my body is indescribable.
I am not gonna lie…I feel indulgent writing about this, because I don’t want to come across now as uber-confident or cocky, and I sincerely hope that I do not. I am writing about this because it just feels incredible to see the changes all around and within me simply by setting my focus and really going for it, not going halfway and stopping. It’s something I simply have not done before. I’ve committed, but not fully, and then gotten frustrated. But, no more. This is me, committing. To me, my body, my mind and my life. Why go through life half-assing it? When you put in that extra commitment, it truly does make all the difference between progress and stagnation.