When your reality is shattered.

I read a post from Booshy recently that I absolutely loved…so I am doing a spin on that – when your reality is shattered. (and it’s not what you think!)

What I loved most about what she wrote about, was an instance when something she’d grown to view as her perfect reality was in fact, not nearly as perfect as it could be. It could be BETTER.

So…when was my reality shattered?

No, it wasn’t when I got divorced.

No, it wasn’t when I dated dead-end after dead-end.

It was when I realized that that list of must-haves and dealbreakers actually amounted to something far more than I could have imagined.

And of course, that is M.

I am continually reminded of just how well worth all of that was to find someone that fits me so perfectly, that ‘gets’ me in just about every way, and thatΒ  makes me want to continue to be the best I can be, in life, as a sister, daughter, auntie and girlfriend. That quality – the drive to want to be the best person you can be – is something I never had on any list I ever created for my ‘ideal’ match, but it has become one of the best things I love about M.

He makes me want to be the best I can be.

And that is when my reality was shattered.

Meeting him, falling in love with him, trusting him with all of my being.

I was asked by a bloggy friend recently: “how did you know things with M are different than with your ex-husband? Did it feel different? How were you able to trust him?”Β 

I honestly don’t have an answer to that question other than…I just did. I never truly worried, or had nagging feelings or doubts, it just worked. It just fit. Trust was one of my biggest stumbling blocks when I was dating but now, it is one of my least fears. And I think that is a true sign that it’s meant to. No, it doesn’t always happen instantly, but when it’s meant to work out, it just does.

So, I’ll pose the question Booshy posted to her readers…So, how about you? Β Has your reality ever been shattered?




23 thoughts on “When your reality is shattered.

  1. Obviously…I’ve answered that question already…(thank you for the shout out!)

    However: love how your reality has been shattered with your relationship with M! You two have really grown together and it is so fun to watch the two of you blossom into a secure, happy, trusting couple.

    PS: if a wedding ever comes along…I want an invite! Or an announcement. Something. :$

    1. Anytime my dear! And uh, yes, if a wedding ever comes along, that will shatter my reality too, since I am anti-wedding…but if you mean MARRIAGE, well, that’s a different story…maybe ;-P

  2. Brilliant post, I can totally relate to it relationship wise and it also makes me be careful of what I wish for. I know with the guy I very nearly married, I “wanted to have it all” by 30. In reality, it wasn’t right for me and wanting it all by a certain age and having a complete plan of the future was really not in the long term destiny plan for me if that makes sense. I’ve learnt that life happens and things that I wanted in the past were so not right for me.

    It’s so amazing that M is so right for you and it just feels right and comfortable too.

    1. Thank you Susan! And thanks for sharing your story too, it wasn’t right for you in hindsight, and now, you are on your way towards the one that IS.

  3. Wow. I love reading how happy and perfect you two fit each other. I so enjoy another happy love story!

    The first thing that comes to mind is when my ex agreed to a divorce. I really thought he’d fight harder to keep our family together. When he didn’t, I was stunned. Quite honestly, 5 years later, I’m STILL stunned.

    The second thing is when my last boyfriend came home from war and didn’t want to be in a relationship with me at all. This after, just a week prior, he told me that he was so happy to come see me and couldn’t wait to pick up where we left off before he left for Iraq.

    As far as good things? I’d say both times my daughters were placed in my arms after they were born. I never EVER thought I could love like that.

    1. Aw, thanks T πŸ™‚ I love reading your love story too…even if right now it may just be seeing some tweets or in conversation πŸ˜‰ You two seem to fit just oh so well too! And your examples are great ones…I love how you describe the feeling of love for your daughters. amazing. Love that.

    1. Aww, I love your perspective on this since I swear, you were one of the first to totally be an M ‘fan’ if you will πŸ˜‰ It was incredible meeting him, it’s still incredible now.

  4. it’s funny how a busted-to-bits reality isn’t always a bad thing. the evolution of things with the man is a shattering in its own right, and it’s spectacular. so here’s to clearing away the old, broken reality and getting a glimpse of the new one. πŸ™‚

  5. Looooooove how M has shattered your reality, in such an awesome, perfect way.

    Let’s see – if I were to pick a moment when my reality was shattered? I’d say over the past couple of years, as various relationships have come and gone (not just your divorce, but other relationship-y things…), my reality has been shattered. It reminded me that the relationship I have with Scott is one-of-a-kind and NEVER to be taken for granted. Our relationship has grown SO MUCH since then and I’m so thankful that I took that step back to fully appreciate it. I hope that makes sense…

    1. Thanks sis. I let M read this post and he really liked it too…was touched πŸ™‚ And yea, it does make sense, and I love how much stronger you guys are now too, if that’s even possible!

  6. I loved that booshy post. Such a good way to put it. Last night we were laying in bed and hardsacpe said something along the lines of “Am I what you thought you were going to end up with?” One word. Nope. It is so much better. It is a great feeling.

  7. Love this post. Only wish I was in a better place such that I could do a positive spin on the theme like you.

    But I’ll get there – baby steps and all that!

  8. Ok, I have to admit when I saw this post title, I was like, what the hell? LOL, but you did not disappoint, you turned a traditionally negative phrase into puppies and rainbows, love you for that.

    I should have known better than to be worried about you for even a sec! Very happy for you two, you deserve it.

    1. ha-ha, thought I’d ‘get’ people with that title πŸ˜‰ But thank you, you know me, always looking for a puppy or a rainbow hiding behind negativity πŸ™‚ XO!

  9. I know the feeling, and I soooo want it again. The Ex shattered my reality. He really did. I remember thinking that I didn’t know the kind of love from fairy tales really existed. I want that again. I think that’s why I keep breaking up with guys after three months. They aren’t shattering any sort of reality. They aren’t my fairy tale.

    1. That’s such a reality for you…and probably why you do keep ending things after three months…wow, so self-aware, I love it. You will find your meant to be, I know it (and I don’t believe in fairy tales either!)

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