I practically have a love affair with routine.
I love routine. I love familiarity.
Change is neither of these things.
But change is also good.
It takes awhile to adjust to, and that adjustment period helps you grow, see new perspectives, understand yourself and others better. It’s open and new and full of possibility.
Change, for me right now is moving.
While I am thrilled at the prospect of seeing M every single day and learning to live together as a united couple, moving away from a city that I’ve lived in for nearly 6 years is admittedly daunting. It’s a place I have called home from my college days to the day I moved in to the house I purchased with my ex-husband, to the day I stepped out into my own apartment, to today. It holds a lot of memories. It’s less than 5 miles away from my sister Jess and about 15 from my mom.
Moving further away from what’s comfortable is scary.
But I think we’ve found a happy medium. A place only minutes from M’s place down the street (which is about 20 mins or so from my sister Jess, one of my caveats when I moved in with M was that we be within close driving distance to each other heh. He didn’t skip a beat, almost knew *that* was coming!!). It’s not official yet as there is another place that is about the same distance away that we’re looking at on Friday, but either way, I am moving from the town I’ve called home for so long.
And I’ve been grappling with that quite a bit, I won’t lie. I love where I live, the area is beautiful. Less than 5 miles to the beach, close to most of the things that I need, and just well, so familiar to me. But one big thing missing from this city?
And striking a happy medium, a place that is not too far from where he works (still going to be somewhat of a commute but much more bearable than from my place now), but also close enough to my family. Sure, I won’t necessarily have a work from home gig forever, but that obviously factored in as well. No commute for me? More flexibility location-wise. Regardless of that, the location is still ideal for many of the places I could see myself working *if* I were to change jobs (big if, obviously, given I am clearly not going anywhere!) and a place where we can build a life together and save…hopefully for a house one day in the future.
The best part about this whole process is that we’ve really communicated honestly about what we both want, what our dealbreakers are and what we are willing to compromise on. It’s probably as honest as we’ve both ever been with each other, and at the end of the day what meant the most to me was that M said “honestly, wherever you are happy, I am happy. If you want to live even closer to your sister, I don’t mind driving further.” For him to say that – and fully mean it – meant the world to me. I was never going to intentionally suggest a place that was just too far, but knowing that if I really felt strongly about it, he would support that. Wow. Seriously?
So, yeah, that thing called change? I’m adjusting to it, as scary as it feels, it also feels like the beginnings of something even more beautiful than the last nine months have given us. It feels more real than ever, and I know the more I warm up to this change, the more I’m gonna like it.
What’s your love affair?