Change.

Scares me.

I practically have a love affair with routine.

I love routine. I love familiarity.

Change is neither of these things.

But change is also good.

It takes awhile to adjust to, and that adjustment period helps you grow, see new perspectives, understand yourself and others better. It’s open and new and full of possibility.

Change, for me right now is moving.

While I am thrilled at the prospect of seeing M every single day and learning to live together as a united couple, moving away from a city that I’ve lived in for nearly 6 years is admittedly daunting. It’s a place I have called home from my college days to the day I moved in to the house I purchased with my ex-husband, to the day I stepped out into my own apartment, to today. It holds a lot of memories. It’s less than 5 miles away from my sister Jess and about 15 from my mom.

Moving further away from what’s comfortable is scary.

But I think we’ve found a happy medium. A place only minutes from M’s place down the street (which is about 20 mins or so from my sister Jess, one of my caveats when I moved in with M was that we be within close driving distance to each other heh. He didn’t skip a beat, almost knew *that* was coming!!). It’s not official yet as there is another place that is about the same distance away that we’re looking at on Friday, but either way, I am moving from the town I’ve called home for so long.

And I’ve been grappling with that quite a bit, I won’t lie. I love where I live, the area is beautiful. Less than 5 miles to the beach, close to most of the things that I need, and just well, so familiar to me.  But one big thing missing from this city?

M.

And striking a happy medium, a place that is not too far from where he works (still going to be somewhat of a commute but much more bearable than from my place now), but also close enough to my family. Sure, I won’t necessarily have a work from home gig forever, but that obviously factored in as well. No commute for me? More flexibility location-wise. Regardless of that, the location is still ideal for many of the places I could see myself working *if* I were to change jobs (big if, obviously, given I am clearly not going anywhere!) and a place where we can build a life together and save…hopefully for a house one day in the future.

The best part about this whole process is that we’ve really communicated honestly about what we both want, what our dealbreakers are and what we are willing to compromise on. It’s probably as honest as we’ve both ever been with each other, and at the end of the day what meant the most to me was that M said “honestly, wherever you are happy, I am happy. If you want to live even closer to your sister, I don’t mind driving further.” For him to say that – and fully mean it – meant the world to me. I was never going to intentionally suggest a place that was just too far, but knowing that if I really felt strongly about it, he would support that. Wow. Seriously?

So, yeah, that thing called change? I’m adjusting to it, as scary as it feels, it also feels like the beginnings of something even more beautiful than the last nine months have given us. It feels more real than ever, and I know the more I warm up to this change, the more I’m gonna like it.

Change…or routine.

What’s your love affair?

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29 thoughts on “Change.

  1. Very exciting, moving in together! That’s a big step. And since you are renting too, the location change isn’t necessarily permanent. I don’t love all change, but I enjoy moving around and trying new towns, so I guess we differ in that respect. I could stand to love routine a bit more. 🙂

    1. This is true. Honestly, if we do buy a house at some point, I hope it’s near where I live now, but again, doesn’t mean I have to and change can be good! I gotta embrace! We can learn from each other 😉 Routine CAN be wonderful hehe.

  2. Oh girl, we are having that same talk here. He would like to move closer to the city and OMG I can’t move from my little town I’ve been in for 10 years and RESTART. Holy scary, I agree. I’m so glad you two are able to work together on the best option for you both. How exciting to be out looking though! I’m know I’m enjoying it!

    1. Wow, AGAIN on the same wavelength!! I love it. It feels strange to think I won’t live here much longer, however, I thought the same thing when I moved from my hometown and now never would go back. Weird how that happens sometimes…

    1. I am not running from it, at least trying not to! I will be about 20 mins from Jess now vs. 5, but still much closer than you and your sis, so I never want to take that for granted!!

  3. Change can be so much fun! I’m excited for you! You can redecorate, rearrange, and make it home. I can’t wait to hear deets once you pick a place. 🙂

    1. So true! THAT part I can’t wait for!! It’ll be so fun to do together. And I’m sure this sounds weird, but I’m excited for the cats too…they love M and I bet they will love having someone else around the house all the time to play with besides me 😉

  4. sounds like a pretty sweet deal all around, big change or no. and the best part, as you know, will be when he comes home, and his home is yours, too. that will make all the fear-of-change business roll away, eh?

    so here’s to the good change. 🙂

  5. Eeek! I’d be scared as hell too! I’m with you… I love routine. And hey, at least you guys are in the same vicinity! I can’t imagine if I were to move to be with my guy…. sheesh.

    So excited about what’s to come for you!

    1. Ha-ha, I know, right? It is scary, but in a good way, and SO good that we really don’t live far from each other anyway. 🙂

  6. That’s so cool that you and M are moving in together. What an important step in your relationship. So exciting!! It’s great that you too are communicating so well with each other, so happy for you both.

  7. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. I think having even the bare bones of a routine gives the confidence necessary for change. That’s what works for me. As I transition to the work from home gig, I have to develop a new routine. It’s a bit daunting, but I look forward to the change.

    I bore easily. I need stability with frequent shake-ups to stay on top of my game.

    Love watching all the changes you are going through. Truly inspiring.

    Big hugs!

  8. Routine—definitely Routine….Big changes for me going on as well. I have been a single parent to my daughter for the last 17 yrs…she has been my number one priority and my focus……and guess what? She is graduating highschool on Sat and will be heading off to college in the fall. I am so DAMN proud her…such a GREAT kid……but *blink* *blink*….it is freaking me out….what’s next for me…no clue…EEEEEEEEK…..mama’s gotta figure this out!!!
    Sunnie in NC

  9. I start to get restless if I get TOO settled into a routine. That said, I LOVE being settled in a house (going on four years now). We would love to upgrade to a bigger place eventually, and I am wrestling with a lot of the same issues you are in terms of finding the right location. Only now I’m starting to think about things like school districts!

    1. School districts – yes, very important!! I MISS having a house so I hope the next apartment is the last…but will enjoy every minute of it regardless, because at least I am with M, right? 🙂

  10. I think this is awesome sis – sure, we’ll have to drive a whole 20 mins to see eachother but seriously it could be way worse and ummm you’re moving in with M, that is awesome!! I am so excited for you guys. I promise this transition will be just fine. So cute how supportive he is of our relationship, I must say – major bonus points 🙂

  11. I’m addicted to change. I constantly feel restless and unsatisfied (I’ve got a post about this coming soon, on my private blog). I wish I could be satisfied with routine, but it’s just not me. I’ll be one of those people who has had five different careers and five different husbands, someday.

    1. I can learn from you and your non-routine ways!! I like your outlook too, though, because change is good, routine can be boring. I need to fall somewhere in the middle to stay sane!

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