I am determined.

If someone asked you what the one quality you most admire in yourself, what would you say?

For me? It’s determination.

(hence the title of my blog)

Determination is a quality that I think was a quiet attribute tucked away in the inner corner of my brain before I got divorced. I can honestly look back at my life and the ‘me’ I was then and say that I can’t really pinpoint too many times where I was really and truly challenged, or tested, or hurt. I was pretty lucky to have met my would-be husband at such a young age, not struggling like so many of my friends here and IRL to find love, to feel it, and know someone in this world loves you (as we all deserve to feel). Sure, we divorced, but I can honestly also say that we did have a loving relationship, the majority of our marriage, and I consider myself lucky to even say that. Looking at this statement – that I feel as though in my ‘past life’ I wasn’t really challenged or tested – is a huge a-ha moment for me…I just never looked at it that way or even realized it.

Fast forward to the pain of divorce. The picking yourself up, healing, moving on and up and forward process. It screams determination.

All that went with that process…the financial rock-bottom. The short sale on my house. The starting over. The new beginnings. The living on my own. The dating rollercoaster. The fits and starts with trying to find love. And…finding love.

It all screams determination.

I firmly believe I am at the point in my life where determination is second-nature to me. I seek it out. I am determined to continue growing, continue exploring and continue challenging myself. I never want to fall into complacency, or take what I have – my life – for granted.

For example?

I was determined to find a new job. It took me more than a year. But I found it, and it’s become one of the single most challenging transitions for me in my career. But I am loving every minute of every ‘out of comfort zone’ moment, because it is helping me grow. It’s cultivating greatness that I know is in there somewhere.

I am determined to get my running mojo back so I can run another half marathon. I am clawing my way back. This morning, I had one of my best runs, and the longest, in probably 8 months, with my sister. We ran 5 miles. I didn’t stop, I pushed through hills. She was there every step, coaching me along the way. It was exactly what I needed. I will get there. Because I am determined. I am staring down this challenge.

I am determined to undo this nasty body image I have.  With each passing day, and each passing Barre N9Ne class, I feel better and better. The minute I want to criticize, I slap it down. I am focused on changing that mindset, because it’s unhealthy. Embrace the positive, push out the negative.

I am also determined to really hunker down and start saving more money. I’ve started, I’m back on my feet, more than two years later, but I am finally feeling stable. But now is the time to save. I want to buy a house. I am determined to get there. Maybe even in the next year or so.

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here and pose the same question to you…If someone asked you what the one quality you most admire in yourself, what would you say?

(Thanks Tina and Jess for your posts which spurred mine. Loved every word of yours!)

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30 thoughts on “I am determined.

  1. Yay you! You are an inspiration, lady, for people to find the *determination* and strength they have in themselves to go out and grab what they want from life.

    As for me? Honestly? I am starting to think that one word is… happy (…and yes, there is a forthcoming post on this…)

    1. Aw, thank you so much Nikki!! YOU are an inspiration for me as well, for all that you have gone through recently and to actually say that the word ‘happy’ describes you…is well, nothing short of amazing. I am so glad to hear this!

  2. Passionate.

    It took me awhile to think about this one, but that’s one quality I’ve found that I love about myself. And something I didn’t think I had in me until I really started to think about it more.

    I am passionate about my relationship with Scott. Utterly and totally committed, never apologizing for putting him first when he (and we) needs to come first.

    I am passionate about my sisters and my niece. I love so very much, and so very fiercely (to borrow Naomi’s word!).

    I am passionate about health and fitness and living a full life. With loved ones all around.

    I am passionate about living. No regrets.

    1. I love this sis. You ARE passionate. And it feeds over to me and I love that. We are both passionate, but I think this one definitely defines you too.

  3. Whoa! I’d say “you go girl” but I really can’t pull that off. Good to see people with positive attitudes. I have determination on occasion. Some days more than others.

    1. Aww, thank you Lindsay!! That was the sweetest comment…and I love how you characterize it as gentle but solid. That’s a great way of putting it. 🙂

  4. Ok, I am stealing your idea for today, but with a slightly less positive twist (I wouldn’t be me, if I didn’t, lol). But I agree that your word is determination, that suits you perfectly.

  5. Mmmm….I think one of my best qualities is also something that drives people crazy.

    If there is something I’ve decided I want to do (and this really comes into play with running or other athletic type things), I’m doing it. Period. Move out of my way or jump on the boat. Either way, it’s happening. 🙂

    1. I LOVE that! But I can see what you mean – driving people crazy – but you are just hellbent determined to do it. SO ‘you!’

  6. Determination is an important one for anyone who’s had to start a new life, for sure. I think my word would be empathetic. it comes in very handy in co-parenting with my ex.

  7. YES. determination is the name of the game for divorced folks. you have to be determined or else you get steamrolled.

    the one word for me, eh? hmm. you took mine. 🙂 but aside from that, i think i’d have to say passionate. i throw myself into everything with wild abandon. this makes me at times saturated with joy and at other times soaked in anger or petulance. the original double-edged sword, that’s me. but i like it. it mostly works. and that’s all you can ask, eh?

    1. We can share…you are determined as shit! I know it! You are indeed very passionate too, about everything you do. It’s written all over your posts. I love it.

  8. Yeah, I would definitely describe you are determined, too. I’m so proud of you. I’ve been watching your journey for two years now. So much growth and change and good stuff. Thanks for taking me along. Thanks for always supporting me.

    You’ll work through the body issues. Most of us wish we had your body. (Maybe if I had more determination in that department…)

    1. Thank you Nicki! I’ve enjoyed sharing my story and sharing in yours as well, these past couple of years! And more to come, right? bigger and better! XOXO!

  9. You definitely are determined and I applaud what you’ve been able to achieve on your own over the past two years! I guess my word for the past 10 or so months would be … Strong. There were definitely moments of weakness but in the end I had to be strong.

  10. Determined is such a perfect word for you. It’s hard to pin down one word for myself. I guess deep down, I know that I am an innate problem-solver. I don’t like to let problems get the best of me. I am always scheming and working to correct bad situations in creative ways.

    1. Thank you! And problem solving is a huge ability. I would honestly love to not let problems get the best of me. I’m the opposite. Share? 😉

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