Throwbacks: summer: a time for singles or couples?

I remember writing a post last summer about whether summer is more fun as a couple or single (at the time, feeling *so* ready to find love again) and out of curiosity, I went to my old blog and found the post.

I wrote it almost exactly a year to this day (May 30, 2010).

Wow.

Fitting for a throwback today, more than any, as I look outside and summer has finally arrived at my doorstep. It’s going to be a gorgeous, sunny weekend, in the 80s and I couldn’t be more ecstatic.

…and re-reading parts of that post made me realize just how beautiful the here and now is for me, and honestly, how perfectly wonderful summer is whether you are single or coupled up.

What I liked:

And when I was explaining this (in part) to my sister, she said “I just want you to be happy.” And I responded, “but I AM happy.” Because I am, truly. Life is great, I’m in a good spot emotionally and mentally. It’s summer. I have lots of fun things planned in coming weeks and months. It’s just that tiny nagging at me, the alone-factor, that nags ever so slightly more now and again, and right now, it’s nagging.

I know my time will come. I know you all will reiterate that. Or say that I should stop looking. Or stop wanting. Or just to enjoy what I have now. And I am – sorta kinda, all of these things.

Last summer was probably one of the best – if not the best – summers I have ever had. And being on my own ended up having a lot to do with that. I enjoyed the living shit out of last summer and loved the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I wanted. I loved having just my schedule, nobody else’s, my agenda and nobody else’s and I guess you could say, it was my time to be selfish and just be.

Not to say I am limited in what I do now because of M…not by a long shot. We have such a great understanding of each other, what we both like, what we both need, the right balance of things we do together and separately. And that’s what my biggest fear was before we met.

Losing the independence and freedom I had cultivated for myself and grew to love so much.

I haven’t lost that and that has a lot to do with us both having a similar outlook on that and having open communication and striking the right balance. Of course, there are days where I might not love his schedule, or vice versa, but we make it work, we find time, and on the other hand, we also carve out the ‘me’ time whenever we need it.

I guess the point of my posting this throwback is two-fold. To give those that wish they weren’t single hope that it will happen…and that in the meantime, enjoy the shit out of summer and all there is to offer (and let’s face it, everyone looks hotter in the summer, right? Tanned, cute tops, dresses, lots of great ways to meet people, and well, go on dates too!) and use this time as the ultimate in ‘me’ time. And to reflect on the juxtaposition of the ‘me’ I am now and the ‘me’ I was at this point last year. As I said in my throwbacks/story of M, I am me…amplified. I think I am absolutely the same person then as I am now, but just that much happier, that much more self-aware and that much more committed to him, to us, and to the us we are as individuals. Never to lose that.

And, as I scroll through the comments in that post, one lept out at me….specifically from my sister, which said:

Jo – I know you are just as happy being single, learning new things about yourself, and enjoying the journey, but damn do I wish I could find that perfect match for you like rightnow. I know, all in due time, but seriously, you deserve love and affection and all that comes with finding your “other half.” I know it’ll happen, I know you’re happy but it does make me a little sad when I sense that you’re sad. I just wanna wipe it all away in the worst way.

Reading that now, it makes me smile, it makes me see that M was meant for me, in my path all along, at just the right moment. The week after the unofficial end to summer. Labor Day. And the rest, as they say, is history.

~

Happy weekend friends…enjoy the shit out of it, will ya? Cheers!! 😉

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26 thoughts on “Throwbacks: summer: a time for singles or couples?

  1. LOVE this throwback post. I distinctly remember feeling so frustrated for you this time last year because I wanted you to find love again…and re-reading my comment to you then,I wanted you to find M. And you did and it’s amazing. It’s everything I always hoped and dreamed for you, relationship-wise. And to top it off? You are an amplified you which is probably the best part of all. Continually proud of how far you’ve come. Love you!!

    1. Thanks sis. I remember how many times you told me that and how many times it was just so hard to believe. But it’s true, and M is so tailor-made for me, it’s not even funny 🙂 XO!

  2. Look at you cussing:) I love this post. I think it was good for you to have the summer for yourself to give you perspective. You seemed to learn so much about what you wanted for yourself. Amazing how life works. Have a great weekend!

    1. Haha! Yea, it comes out now and again, the swearing 😉 I agree, I think last summer was exactly what I needed!! For you too, I remember you wrote a similar post too! And look at you now 🙂 happy weekend!

    1. I completely agree! I think that I learned a lot about what I want my life to look like, single or coupled up, and I made sure to weave that into my relationship musts! And it’s been wonderful 🙂

  3. I think it’s all about making the best of what you’ve got. Or choosing your happiness, which I know is quite the controversial subject. But you can be happy in the summer as a single or a part of a couple. There are such huge benefits to both! I hope you enjoy this summer with M just as much as last summer by yourself. 🙂

    1. TOTALLY is. That’s another great way of putting it. Making the best of it and choosing your own happy. I hope you have a wonderful summer too, no matter what!

  4. The throwback posts are awesome!

    I think you reached a sense of acceptance about being single, but you really wanted to be in a relationship. (Jess called it.) Maybe the job and work travel is a way to make sure that you prioritize your independence for a bit as you build your relationship with M? xoxo

    1. So glad you like them!! And ya know, I think it’s true, the work travel etc does keep a semblance of balance too. For as much as it is trying and stressful, I think there’s fairness in that statement!

  5. Thank you for this post. I have been having a hard time since the break up with my very own Jo. I loved her immensely – possibly more then I’ve loved anyone. But, I am finally realising that if she didn’t want it – then it wasn’t too be. I have stopped hoping that she will change her mind and I am starting to move on. I still have blips (and if I ever return to her blog I take massive steps backwards) but I am getting there.

    I’ve realised that I can still do all those things that I wanted to do with Jo. I just have to do them with friends and I also know that there will be someone else – someone who will take the place of Jo and want to be with me also.

    1. I am so glad my post was helpful and it is so true…you can absolutely do all of those things, but with your friends. I think that was a big thing for me to realize at the time, too, and now as well. And someone will take the place of – and be even better – than Jo, but of course, that just takes time. Hang in there.

  6. I have to say I also enjoyed the shit out of my summer last year (and fall and winter too!) being single. I loved that I was in charge of my own schedule and found that most times, I had a lot of different options to choose from, socially speaking. Once you learn to embrace it … being single isn’t *all* that bad. Summertime especially!

    1. SO glad to hear that! You totally get what I mean then…and um, where are your posts on this very topic….no longer single ms brookie 😉

      1. I know! I’m trying to think what I do and don’t want to share about it. It’s pretty amazing right now though. Tonight – I am posting tonight! 🙂

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