Or namely, me?
…learn to eat when, what and how much our bodies need [hopefully doing this now a la Barre N9Ne challenge and food log)
…overcome the fear of not dieting [the only one in this list that doesn’t totally apply to me. I don’t diet nor fear it. Moderation.]
…decode fat talk to reveal real concerns [a curious one for me as I consider my fat days just that; days where I am feeling fat]
…stop trying to measure up to society’s ridiculous and impossible standards of female beauty [yes, please!]
…learn to accept oursevels – our bodies as well as our feelings – unconditionally. [ can I hug this one please? I love it that much]
These are the first words in the book “When Women Stop Hating their Bodies“, a book Sunshine suggested I read after the last few body-image posts I’ve written. And already, I know this book will be helpful for me, in large part just to get my perspective back about my body, what it’s capable of and the positive aspects, not the nit-picking aspects, the comparing, the self-destructive comments.
The thing is? I *don’t* hate my body. Truly.
I think I differ from those with true self-loathing in that I know at the core, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my body. There is just room for improvement. And improvement is what I seek. Not perfection. I want to treat my body the way it treats me…fuel it (not starve it), feed it when hungry (not overeat out of boredom or mindlessly at a party or gathering or whereever I am), and use my strength and focus to improve the areas I dislike through exercise. I think that’s a fair assessment of ‘me’ in a nutshell, when I think about my body and the way I perceive it.
I think my biggest downfall with body image is completely in the way I speak or think about my body. I lead with downfalls and not strengths. I ‘dis it instead of compliment it. I see the areas for improvement versus the areas I have improved. And I assume that what I see in the mirror is what everyone else sees. But I know I am wrong. They see me. I see flaws.
I want to see myself as others see me. As M sees me, as my family sees me and my friends. And complete strangers, even. For example, last week at Barre N9Ne, one of the girls in the classes asked my sister and me how often we have been going to class. We replied 4-6 times a week, but this is only our second week. Her reaction? Surprise. She thought we’d been going longer as we had it ‘down.’ THAT is what I need to focus on. Knowing that I am focused and improving in class. That my stamina is increasing, that my running is improving and that most of all? I am healthy.
So what do I think would happen if I stopped
hating disliking my body?
I’ll be a better me to myself.
And that’s what matters most right now.