I made it.
I’m back from Vegas in one piece.
And to be honest, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. (I’m sure you’re all shaking your heads at me, thinking ‘see!’)
But I made it.
…when I pushed down the fear over empty space, striking up conversations even though I really just wanted to go hide. When I realized that hey, these are mostly my coworkers, just get to know them more, have a conversation, it will be okay, I felt better. It eased up, my anxiety went down.
…when a couple of people said – in front of my boss – how well I’m doing and that everyone likes to work with me. And my boss reiterated that we ‘haven’t missed a beat’ since K has been on leave.
…when, at the awards dinner I had to go to with my boss, he
jokingly said ‘I accepted the first two, if we win a third, you’re going up there!” I joked back, thinking he was kidding. But wouldn’t you know, we won another award and he said ‘okay, go up there!” and I said ‘you’re kidding, right?” Um, nope. So, up I went, accepted the award, got my picture taken and had to say a few words in front of the room (1oo or so?). Honestly felt like an out-of-body experience because um, if I KNEW I had to go up there, I’d have honestly been way more nervous. But I didn’t even have time to think. I just reacted.
…did I mention I even passed up wine this week? I didn’t even have any ‘liquid courage’ to accept that award. Um, I gotta say, even I’m impressed with myself on that one 😉
…when I stuck to my food diary and only once went over my calories a bit (hard to eat out and count calories)…but given I realized now that I only had ONE real meal and the rest were snacks or quick things (like only oatmeal, until dinner!). Note to self: pack more snacks next time (even though I had several, I ran out quickly).
I made it.
I got through it. (including a flight reschedule to get home earlier and avoid the red-eye…which then ended up having an almost two hour delay for a reroute due to weather in the midwest, which meant I landed at JFK at the time my connection was taking off…the very last flight to Boston last night. I was freaking out, sweating and scared that I’d have to spend the night in NYC and then take a flight home this morning. But they held the flight just long enough for me to trample through people to get to my flight just as they closed the doors).
This week felt like this was the culmination of my ‘second wave’ interview as I like to call it, first, with the launch last week and then these events in Vegas this week. I’m exhausted. My brain is mush. But I did it. I’m home and I’m so glad that’s over with (all downhill from here…right?!).
I made it.