Apprehensive.
…because I’m traveling to Vegas tonight for two jam-packed days for not one, but two tradeshows. With more than 20,000 people expected at one (and probably close to it for the other), it’s a *wee* bit daunting.
…because I haven’t been to an event this big, in this role (or any!) and know I’ll have to do some stuff on-the-fly and get out of my comfort zone. Meeting new people, putting myself out there, putting the face of confidence on. *gulp*
…because I know it’ll be exhausting, long days and nights (I get in at 2 am my time, tonight, for starters…) and then a red-eye home on Wednesday night (gag), but at least M is picking me up at 5:30 am on Thursday and I can hopefully catch a few hours of sleep with him (hopefully!)…his smiling face will be enough to get me through.
Realities.
…facing the scale later this week scares the crap out of me. I won’t look at the number, because I know I will fixate on it. But the reality will be in the measurements, too. I need to do my best at keeping perspective and knowing this challenge will be good mind, body and soul. (be gone bad body-image, be gone! shoo!)
…realizing that though I eat healthfully during the week, that weekends are my downfall. Knowing I’ve been counterproductive with my eating habits is frustrating. A reality I wasn’t ready to face, but I am now. And that’s all that matters.
…knowing that as hard as I work during these 60 days will mean nothing if I keep tearing myself down mentally (reading this from Tina and this from Lindsay was just what I needed as I sat on my couch in tears, beating myself up incredibly hard).
Challenges.
…food log. enough said. accountability. for as much as I eat well, I also have a habit of mindless snacking. A few nuts here, a handful of cereal there. Adds up. Don’t even get me started on my precious glasses of wine. Moderation is key, and I need to get back to that.
…Vegas. By myself. For 3 days. Eek. Sure, my colleagues will be there, but I am not good at unscheduled-ness. I have several couple-of-hour times where I don’t have to be anywhere for a meeting. That scares me. Like whoa.
…the 60 day challenge officially starts on Thursday. This is one challenge I can’t wait to face head-on. Bring. It. On. I need this. In so many ways.
~~
Must remember…I’m made for challenges. I can do this. All of it.
Right?
~~
Wish me luck this week…I’ll take all the good vibes I can get. You all are the best. Just sayin.
Determined. To Be... 
Great post sis, honest and real, as usual. I am honestly incredibly grateful for this 60 day challenge…it’s coming at just the right time for both of us, but especially for you. It’s been heartbreaking to watch (and listen) as you tear yourself down so continually lately. It is so upsetting to me, all I want to do is fix fix fix (gee, sound familiar??). I know I can’t do it for you. I wish I could. But through this challenge – together – we are going to come out of the next 60 days stronger, happier, more confident, and maybe a little lighter too. 🙂 I’ll miss you this week!
Thanks sis. I needed your pep talk. I appreciate your protectiveness over er, myself, as I tear myself down. That’s what I hope to get out of this most – mental happiness and a good body image, regardless. I’ll miss you this week too!
Safe travels sweetie. I hope you have a great time out there despite your worries. I have a feeling you’re going to surprise yourself.
Thank you Heather! I hope I do surprise myself 🙂
you are never alone in this! i cried saturday too, for other reasons. But it was healing…let it out and let it heal!
Thank you so much Lindsay. When you told me to let it out…it really did help to just cry a little. I felt a little better after. It is healing, isn’t it? I am glad you are better too. XO.
Good luck!!
thank you! 🙂
Best of luck with the challenge of Vegas and the 60 day, I know you can do it and have full faith in you. What a sense of achievement you’ll have when you’ve completed it all. That’s nice of M to collect you after the red eye, night flights are a bit yuck aren’t they but at least you get in early so you can get straight back into bed.
As for the scales, I think all women including myself get a bit worked up with the scales when they aren’t in any way an indicator of how we really look and feel. Safe flight to Vegas later on. You’ll do amazing!
thank you Susan! I appreciate your support and confidence in me 🙂 maybe I can borrow that for myself! (so I believe it!). I am glad M is picking me up at the airport, it will be a sweet reward!
Just imagine all of the trade show attendees naked. Heh. 😉
During that time when you don’t have to be anywhere, go be alone. Go sit in the hotel steam room or hot tub or go run or something. Do something for YOU. You’re going to need a little bit of centered-ness and downtime from all of the energy swirling around you.
Otherwise, between that & the 60-day challenge, it’s all very exciting and you SO got this!
Thanks T – you are right. I need to try and find time for me. Hopefully I can at some point during these mini breaks 😉 XOXO
you can do it! you can do everything on this list and then some. i have faith. 🙂
thank you, as always. XOXO.
Good luck! I’ll be thinking of you at my trade show. Put a dollar in the slots for me, and I’ll do the same for you! LOL. 🙂
Deal! 🙂
I wish I could give you the confidence I have for you… Does that make sense? I am not worried in the slightest. I know you’ll rock it. You always do! 🙂
it does indeed 🙂 I wish you could too! XO! 🙂 (you are, though, honestly!)
Have fun this week! I know it’s work but seriously, you’ll be in Vegas… who cares!! 🙂 Rock it girl!
Tis true. Will try to have fun 😉
totally wish I could be hanging with you in Vegas. Have fun and good luck!
me too…but in June when I am here for fun 😉
Sending good vibes your way!
Thank you!!
Isn’t the scale so evil?!? Have fun in Vegas! I have a lot of friends at that event, it’s always such hard work, but hopefully you’ll have some fun too! Wish I was going, we could’ve met up!
Scale IS evil. Just read about one called Zero Scale that just gives you what weight you lost (after discretely weighing you for real the first time without your knowing the #) so you can see if you gain or lose. THAT i like! I wish you were here too!
You got it! You’ll be fabulous! To top it off with your man picking you up will make any bumps in the road worth it! Have fun!
Again…I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You are so strong and intelligent and beautiful! You can do this.
Big hugs!
Aww. Can I hug you? thank you 🙂
Good luck! You WERE made for challenges!
aww! that is a huge compliment – thank you! 🙂
Luck!!
You’ll do fab!
thank you so much. I hope so!
You got this week! Just take it moment by moment and think of making choices that leave you feeling best and whole. You can do anything!
Thank you Tina! your encouragement today made me smile. needed that!
Yes, the weekend eating gets me too. I eat impeccably all week long. But then from Friday night to Sunday night, I am a mess. For instance, I lost almost 5 lbs this week, but I’m sure I’ll gain most of it back this weekend. *sigh*
I already know the result of your Vegas trip. I’m glad it went well. But if I didn’t know, I would have told you how great you’re going to be. The schmoozing is just like dating! 🙂
Weekend eating IS tough, isn’t it? congrats on the weight loss, that’s awesome!
Think of how nervous you were before the launch. You nailed it! I’m sure that these shows will be more of the same. Some nervousness is healthy. But, yes, you can handle this. All of this! xoxo
You’re right, nervousness is normal and I found that it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought. 🙂