I totally got sucked into watching the Royal Wedding this morning (even though I wasn’t going to let myself get fed into the hype!).
But what struck me was not the glitz, glamour and well, hype, but what it signified to me.
Seeing this couple and listening to the vows and words by the priest, what I realized was that I actually do believe in the premise of marriage. But how I see it now, versus how I used to see it before I got married.
I see marriage as an opportunity. To start anew. To continue the relationship foundation you’ve build over however much time you’ve been together, and taking the opportunity to start fresh. To not be a laggard and take for granted what you’ve built up.
It’s a new beginning more than an extension of what you already have.
I see marriage as potential. As an opportunity to take your relationship further and to establish a (hopefully) lifetime bond.
It might sound obvious, but I honestly never thought ahead of ‘what happens next’ after marriage. You get married and boom, you’re done. That’s sort of how I felt.
And that’s exactly the wrong way to think about it and exactly the reason why I am no longer married.
I take ownership for that just as much as my ex-husband.
And until now, I never looked at it that way. But I’m not entirely innocent in the end of my marriage. I got stagnant just as much as he did. He just saw it before I did.
If you look at marriage as the end-goal and not the beginning of a new goal, failure is almost absolutely in your future (mine).
It takes work, it takes communication, it takes trust, faith, fighting, and loving the shit out of that person. Not just taking it for granted ‘just’ because you’re married.
If I ever get married again (which I don’t think is out of the realm of possibility!)…I will own it. Because it’s mine to make just as it is mine to break (and the same goes for relationships in general, of course).
Wow. It never ceases to amaze me how I continue to learn things from my divorce, two+ years later.
Happy Friday everyone…super busy weekend ahead, but a goodie. Most exciting? The baby shower for one of my closest friends. I can’t wait to share in the celebration of baby-to-come, a baby that is truly a miracle.