Raging against perspective.

Today, I find myself raging against perspective, even though it’s what I strive for…

…whining about 3-hour meetings every night this week (till 7 or 8 pm)…but at least I’m home (was supposed to be out West this week). <–so, why am I complaining?!

*at least I am home*

…in the ‘hating to ask questions’ mode again this crazy-busy Monday…but it’s the only way to learn <– and 9 times out of 10, people are willing to help!

*I just hate feeling ‘stupid’**

…feeling uber-anxious about the next couple of weeks’ work challenges, like whoa. <– but being home and on the phone helps me with my game face

*so, why can’t I shake the anxiety?*

…still struggling with running, yet had a decent run (dreadmill, no less).

*Okay, this one, I feel good about, yay!*

Do you ever have those days where even when you most want to see the perspective, see the light, you still get stuck in the trenches of stress-stress-stress, wah-wah-wah? No, just me? (wink) Today is one of those days.

Despite having a wonderful weekend. Despite feeling so much love around me and for those around me (especially for a certain someone named M…swoon). Despite having a lot to be thankful and blessed for.

I’m disappointing myself today, and hope writing this out helps me pull myself out and onward.

Because, at the end of the day, life’s pretty damn good, despite the challenges handed to us. (now listen to yourself, dammit! <–note to self) Borrowing a quote from T today, this is what I’m thinking about this week:

“If we’re willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path.”
~ Pema Chodron

(and seriously, if I write one more sentence today riddled with typos, I’m going to slap myself. Ever have one of those days too, where every other word is a typo? Annoying!)

(for the record, no joke, that sentence had 5 typos in it as I wrote)

25 thoughts on “Raging against perspective.

  1. Yep, sometimes I just wanna go back to bed and start over!

    The day will be over soon. ((hugs)) to you girl. Be gentle on yourself. And there is no such thing as a stupid question. Now… assuming? That’s stupid. No assuming! Ask!

    1. Yea, I want to start over, or just finish out the day and start fresh tomorrow, right? Assuming…yes, that is stupid. I’d rather ask a Q then assume and make a big mistaken. Right??

  2. Yep I have those days too, I find that I have them very frequently when I’m pmt-ish like today and everything is just a bit yuck.

  3. cranky days are the key factor in my coping mechanism. seriously. i give myself one of these every few weeks to let off steam and get all the static and broken glass out of my head. it’s annoying to people around me for a few hours, but it keeps me going.

    and hey, that’s what we’re all here for, right? vent to us as you see fit. that’s why i take out space on the ol’ internets. πŸ™‚

  4. I agree, you are being too hard on yourself. It’s okay to be disappointed and let down. You’d be crazy if you didn’t occasionally feel that way!

  5. Ya, I know all about perspective. I’m having an AWFUL night tonight. Wondering why he didn’t put up a fight and feeling pretty damn worthless over it. Ugh. I hope sleep will give me a new POV. We shall see.

  6. Yup, some days just suck and nothing goes as we want it to and we are annoyed at everything. It happens. I hope you are soundly sleeping right now ready to wake up and have a better day tomorrow πŸ™‚

    1. It does happen, and yesterday was it (with a dash of PMS thrown in for good measure). Feeling better today, restful sleep too πŸ™‚

  7. Dang, girl. Ease up on yourself! We ALL have days like these. You’re no different than the rest of us. The good news is that tomorrow is another day, full of opportunities to do it differently. πŸ™‚

    1. I know, I deserve the scolding from you and Mandy on this one…I know I do. Sometimes I just fixate on it too much and then yesterday happens. Today is a new day, I’m feeling better!

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