Things I suck at.

(wow, that’s a total that’s-what-she-said title, isn’t it? moving on…)

This week has been one of the most trying, leading into a few more weeks that will be absolutely challenging and perhaps even downright intimidating for me. I know that at the end of it, I will be stronger, but I gotta admit, it might just suck going through it.

So, beyond knowing the next few weeks might suck work-wise, in terms of stress, complete out of comfort zone-ness and workload, here’s some things I realize I suck at (and no, not in a negative way…keep reading and you’ll know what I mean. Stop shaking your heads. Wow, am I really talking to myself right now? Moving on…)

I suck at…

Being compared to others.

Too often this week, I’ve heard “well K [my boss] would do it this way” or “I wish K was here, this would be easier.” or “Do you know what to do? I am not sure if this is in your realm, or if this was something K would have done.”

Okay, seriously, while I may not be director-level like K, I am manager-level and have 8+ years of experience, I think know I can handle this job. It’s just frustrating for people to be saying this stuff to me. Sure, most of what is said has been out of fairness to me, in trying to help me (and the above quotes sound way worse out of context, they really weren’t meant to sound mean), but of course, I secretly took offense to it and it was hard to shake off or brush past and keep my plastered-on confidence face. But I’m learning. I still suck at it though.

Faking it. (again TWSS, but seriously not intended. Heh.)

I’m still really not good at faking it till I make it. I’m trying to keep my game face on, but sometimes, I feel like it comes through loud and clear that I am unsure. I am allowing these comparisons and misperceptions creep into my psyche and making me doubt myself. I know I need to work on this, like, yesterday, but it’s easier said than done. I am working on it.

Being out of my comfort zone.

No, duh. But I realize more than ever that I will likely be uncomfortable for up to a year in this position. Being at my old job for nearly a decade does crazy things to you. You settle in. It’s status quo. You go through the motions. There is no more thinking involved. You know how to do everything (give or take). I tossed that out the window the day I started this job, in so many ways. I’m still not adjusted to that and that feels amazingly frustrating but now that I’ve set my mind to give myself a year to truly feel comfortable, it eases the frustration and sucktasticness.

Asking questions.

I have been asking a lot of questions. Asking for feedback etc. But I absolutely hate it. Because I automatically fear the worst. And I hate this habit. Probably more than the others here. I know my shit, I am a good writer, I have a good sense of things. But why do I doubt myself? Sucktastic.

And a few funny ones for good measure?

I suck at…

Breathing.

As in, when I run. I am hell-bent on fixing this breathing issue I’ve had with running (and only running, no other forms of cardio). Wish me luck and Godspeed on that one, will ya?

Eating slowly.

No, duh. I steamroll M every time even when I try so hard not to. Meh.

Touching my toes.

Again, no duh. My flexibility is sorely lacking. It has improved with Core Fusion, but it still is nowhere near um, normal people.

Being patient.

With the comfort zone thing, learning, accepting that things like this take time. I’ve never been patient. But I will admit that I’ve had a lot of personal testing over the last few years where it has improved a bit in the grand scheme of things…like waiting for the right one (hello, M) to come along. And damn, that was worth the wait in every sense of the word.

Expressing myself.

I know, you’re probably thinking “wha?” considering I lay it all out here. But I honestly veer towards passive aggressive far more than I’d like to. I’m not as direct as I want or need to be, but I am learning. M is teaching me this, too, as he is a say-what-you-mean kind of man (one of my must-have’s, I might add, in my dating ‘list’! Score!).

Admitting when I’m wrong.

*This “things I suck at” moment brought to you by my sister Jess* <–that’s for you sis, but I am never wrong, so let’s move on, shall we?

Folding laundry.

This one also brought to you by my sister Jess, who seems to think I suck at folding laundry cuz it’s always inside-out. Hey, who said it had to be perfect? This one doesn’t count, for the record.

Taking compliments.

Horrible at this. Anytime M says I’m beautiful, my first instinct is to say ‘nah’ – such a bad habit.

Clearly, I could go on and on…but I won’t πŸ˜‰ What do you suck at? (all in the spirit of being constructive, of course!).

I hope you all have a great weekend. As for me, I will be thoroughly enjoying the fact that I do NOT have to travel on Monday for the first time since January (in the every-other-week rotation), and snuggling with my niece Isabel tomorrow (oh, and with M too…heh.)

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27 thoughts on “Things I suck at.

    1. I don’t get side cramps much anymore, thank God. Just feels like someone is sitting on my chest sometimes, or I just can’t regulate my breathing.

  1. LOL this is a riot – well the funny ones are a riot. You knoow how I feel about the serious ones too. You’ve already come so far since taking this job on, and now that you’re in the next phase of it with your boss out, you are STILL doing some serious butt kicking in my opinion. And I’m *never* wrong so listen to me, mmk.

    1. Ha, you are never wrong. Please ;-P I concur with your sucktastic list, all in good fun, of course πŸ˜‰ And I am glad we are in this newness thing together, it’ll help us get through it!

  2. i know these feelings all too well. weirdly, i got WORSE at faking it after my divorce. in the old life, i became the master of faking it, smiling and selling it when the last thing i wanted to do was look at my ex. now that i don’t have to fake like that anymore, it’s about the last thing on earth i want to do. sadly, though, it’s a really important corporate skill to be able to put on a happy face and project calm confidence when you feel like a badly-made jello mold on the inside. sigh. there’s always something to strive for, isn’t there?

    but on a happy note, yay for no travel! hope you have a fantastic (and extra-restful) weekend! πŸ™‚

    1. badly-made jello mold…great way of putting it, YES that is exactly the feeling (as much as I love jello…). Yay for a fun non-traveling weekend/week! Cheers πŸ™‚

  3. PS. Things I suck at doing?
    I have no patience. None.
    I have been known to have a temper (bad, bad bad) but I’m working on it.
    I have messy closets and one messy drawer in the kitchen which is so embarrasing since I’m such a neat person otherwise.
    I don’t know how to throw schedules out the window. Most of the time. Plus all the same things you suck at in the non-funny section.

  4. Well. If it makes you feel any better, everyone could write a post just as long of things they suck at. So it’s not just you!

    Also, I feel like I should pressure you to write a post of things you’re good at. I want some positivity!

  5. Oh lord, me and compliments – I am THE WORST, so I feel you on that one!! And I agree with the other posters — I think all of us can relate to nearly everything you posted, which at least means you’re not alone in the process of changing mindsets and getting comfy in your work routine!

    1. I am so glad i am not alone on the compliments one, or any of these! Guess we all have our flaws, rather embrace them right? πŸ˜‰ thanks for the visit!

  6. I suck at a lot of those, too! The “faking it” really hit home. I’m pretty transparent, I think. It’s hard for me to fake enthusiasm or confidence when it isn’t there. I’d really love to learn how, because I think people who fake it are better at making it! No one is confident and happy 100% of the time, but if you are good at faking it, it’ll be easier to get there.

    On the flip side, I don’t like being fake, and I’m sure you don’t either.

    The comparisons must be annoying. Why don’t people see that??

    1. Faking it is SO hard right?? So glad I’m not the only one on that, and I hate faking it but sometimes it’s the game face I have trouble facing with and the game face is somethings necessary, as bad as it sounds. thanks for the visit my dear!

  7. I kind of love this post. I did one for Fun Facts Friday sometime ago. I also suck at folding laundry. I can wash it all day long. Folding….forget it. I definitely suck at being patient, accepting compliments, and obeying speed limits πŸ˜‰

    1. Ha-ha, I knew you’d like it. I think I remember you writing something similar! Maybe that’s where I got the idea?? You and I have some similarities in the what we suck at huh? Accepting compliments, like whoa!

  8. haha- hey, at least you fold the laundry! Mine’s usually crumpled up in the basket until I wear it again!

    I suck at… remembering to take the garbage out (my most hated chore), and I usually bag it up and put it by the door to go out but then I’m always late for work so I don’t do it until I come home. I hate this about myself.

    I suck at… tact… beating around the bush… being subtle. I’m just SO not.

    I suck at… tolerance. I’m really impatient and intolerant, especially to people’s bullshit or drama. I’m more likely to either call them out on it or drop them as friends. I choose my close friends selectively because of this.

    1. I HATE taking the trash out too!! I leave it by the door and wait for M to do it for me…bad habit πŸ˜‰ Before I met him though, I would leave it by the door outside and forget about it too!

  9. I touched my toes once… I think I was 18. My legs must have grown longer after that birthday… That’s the only explanation I am willing to hear.

  10. are you my twin? i suck at all those things too, and a ton more! but you are also a brave, badass person.

    btw – i don’t bother folding laundry. i figure i’m going to use the same clothes again, so i just leave them out – its a continuous cycle πŸ™‚

  11. I’m with you on eating fast, being patient, and expressing myself. That pretty much sums me up. Lol.

    Other things…letting go of grudges, not flaking on people because I’m too lazy to go out, staying motivated with exercising, not getting annoyed with people especially in the morning, and keeping my coffee off my clothes.

    πŸ™‚

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