Throwbacks: Same location, a year later.

*I wasn’t expecting to post a ‘throwback’ today, but given my experience today, it was far too uncanny not to**

Before my flight out tonight, M and I decided to spend some time together outside. It was a little blustery and windy, but the sun was shining and it was in the 50s. And given he cooped himself up in my room almost all weekend for 12 hours a day in the home stretch of his thesis, I thought he could use some fresh air too.

We went to a nearby park by my house (it’s on my running route and it always makes me smile, thinking of the summer, the beach and half marathon training!) with our iced coffees in one hand, our other hand holding each others’.

We smelled the fresh ocean air, walked along the sand, towards a rose garden (yet to bloom, of course) and along the grassy paths.

When it struck me…this was the place where I realized, a year ago, that things were just not going to work out with CBE. It was that fateful walk in the park that turned awfully weird, awfully fast, which later ended in a strange conversation about defining happiness (aka ‘he went all ‘The Secret’ on me, for those of you that remember!).

I shared the story with M, who kept shaking his head, wondering (I’m sure) why I had even bothered with him as long as I did. Recapping it, I almost felt silly, because comparatively? CBE has nothing on M. Absolutely nothing. And if I ever thought CBE was even close to the man I’m meant to be with, I was clearly mistaken (and blessedly so, to be honest).

It made the walk in the park today that much sweeter. I held on to M’s hand that much tighter, hugged him closer, and said a little prayer in my head, thanking God for where I am in my life, at this very moment.

In so many ways, my life is completely different than it was a year ago. I’m in a different career, I’ve traveled hundreds of thousands of miles, I’ve stretched my boundaries in so many ways personally and professionally, I’ve met M, I’ve fallen in live, and I see a future brighter than I ever have.

So, as I sit here (again) with tears in my eyes, at the airport, these tears are far less about sadness and far more about being grateful for where I am now, a year later. Same location, vastly different outcome.



30 thoughts on “Throwbacks: Same location, a year later.

    1. thanks sis 🙂 and after our vacation together, I gotta say, I love how much closer we all are, M included, with you guys. It just makes such a difference. XO.

    1. Thank you Lindsay. I truly believe that God put me through this for a reason and now I am reaping the rewards of going through the tests. Amazing how life works, isn’t it?

  1. Aw. Sounds so fab. I’m jealous of the view you had on your walk. Much better than what I’m looking at right now. Sounds like you are supposed to be right where you are in your life at this very moment. Blessed is right.

  2. Amazing how much life can change in a relatively short period. And a year ago, if someone had told you all this would happen, I doubt you would have believed them.

  3. Such a contrast! I remember reading that post the first time around and just being frustrated for you. Do you ever wonder what good ole CBE is up to?

  4. You have come a long way, girl. Love seeing you living in the moment and experiencing such happiness. All the makings of an enduring relationship.

    Big hugs!

  5. So happy for you to see how your life has turned around for you in a year and all the exciting changes. Who knows what lies ahead when you look back this time next year. Life is good isn’t it, I really feel that I’m ready for my prince to arrive and he’s on his way.

  6. I am so happy for you, but about CBE: it makes total sense that for a brief time you wanted to believe.

    I have so far done the same thing. I think when you get back out there and start meeting people, sometimes you meet someone and you think, “Ok, I like this person enough.” And so you try and make it work, even if something in you knows it won’t and it shouldn’t. You start to settle a bit, and if you are lucky (as you were) you snap out of it. I think you were just ready for a new relationship, so you let CBE be the possibility longer than he should have, but thats perfectly ok. Most of us do it I have come to realize.

    1. Ya know, you are right. I felt ready for a relationship and was confusing that with wanting a relationship with HIM. You are so smart, seriously. Right on!

  7. That’s hilarious, because I remember that story. Did you complain about the wind to M to see how he would respond?

    People say you shouldn’t compare, but in this case, how could you not? CBE’s secret? He was lame compared to M.

    1. I knew you’d chuckle at this post for that very reason!! I did ‘fake’ complain about the wind to M and he thought it was funny. I mean, he was cold too! I LOVE your line…CBE’s secret was that he was lame compared to M. I LOVE IT!

  8. (LOL @ ‘The Secret’ reference!)

    Yes…your life has truly come full circle in just this past year. You seem so incredibly balanced, and you are definitely blessed – deservedly so!

    1. Haha, yeah, the Secret. Damn that book, and him! 😉 And thank you. I try my best at balance. Sometimes I achieve it, other times I don’t. HOpefilly that just means I am human 😉

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