Throwbacks: a year ago.

Similar to what Misty is doing (inspired by this post), I am going back into my old blog and pulling out some old posts and reposting some of the content here, on this blog. While I won’t repost directly (even though many of you know my old blog, I am still trying my best to keep this one a little more anonymous), I will pull out snippets to share here.

I know there are a few posts that I want to introduce here, like my series on my father, my marriage and divorce, and a few others, I decided today for my first ‘throwbacks’ post to look at my post today, one year ago:

So, there’s some adjusting to that, and I think it’s managable, but it’s also something you need to learn, I’m realizing…how to make it work, how to adjust your schedule to fit that other person in, how to compromise. These are things I haven’t had to adjust to in more than a year, and it may sound selfish, in a sense, but it’s more that I’m just not used to it. That’s not a bad thing, but it does require a level of compromise on both parts, and an understanding of wanting to make it work, determining how to make it work, and then letting it flow. And, I’m glad CBE wants to make a go of it, see how the distance thing goes, because I think it can, at least in the near-term (we’re still “dating” I guess would be the term for it, still? More on that in a sec).

Wow, I was in a different place. I was dating Captain Blue Eyes (also known as CBE. He was 41 – the oldest I have ever dated, handsome, very tall, great blue eyes, but he was also pretty hard-headed and when he had an opinion on him, it basically became ‘fact’ and if you disagreed, it got awkward (namely, his cult-ish belief that “The Secret” was the be all and end all. Now, I like some of what that book has to say, but he was ridiculous about it…but I digress). What I am talking about in this post excerpt is around dating long distance. He lived a state away, about an hour and a half. And it was always a struggle to get together – not for me going up there to see him, but vice versa (of course). It became an issue, and reading between the lines here, it clearly already was. (Fast forward to today? M is heads and tails different. But we already know that, right?)

It feels like a lifetime ago, to be honest, and when I re-read some of these posts, I can see right through myself. I was totally convincing myself he was right for me, when in all honesty, he was all kinds of wrong. The only ‘right’ he was, was in pushing me out of my comfort zone, and actually, it was also the first time I have ever ended a relationship. On my terms. Not being the dumpee.

There are a few other posts that I wrote around that time, around what you ‘re-learn’ when you enter a relationship – trust, love, and figuring each other out. I still think those are the three main things you ‘re-learn’ and I’ll post some more thoughts on that now that I actually am in a relationship as well as another one that I don’t think I would have known until I actually fell in love. More on that later.

For my bloggy friends that know me from here and from my old blog…any other posts you recall that you want reshared?? I don’t even know if anyone remembers any specifically, but I think it could be fun to do a fresh spin on past posts now vs. then. Don’t you?

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36 thoughts on “Throwbacks: a year ago.

  1. What a great idea, sis. not only for your new readers, but also for you to learn more about how far you’ve come. Just by reading this excerpt, I can see it clear as day. You are in such a different place now, so settled, not questioning, just enjoying it. And I love that. So much.

    1. Glad you like it 🙂 Any requests for reposts?? I am in a different place, and re-reading those posts, wow, was I justifying or what?!

  2. This is a good idea. I don’t have any specific requests, but maybe a time when you were really, really low? Because you’re really, really not low anymore. And we can praise God for that! 🙂

    (I may steal this idea for my blog…)

    1. YES! You did, and you know, I really needed to hear that, as much as it sort of sucked to see. I remember deleting the blog post that you wrote that comment on, because I was embarrassed at how much I’d justified things. So, thank you for that 🙂

  3. What a great idea to do reposts, it’s funny how we change and looking back with hindsight I know I should never have got involved with certain men etc. Just wondered if you have a post on where you had given up on men and then you were given hope that there was a great man out there.

    1. Hindsight is so powerful, isn’t it? Hmm. As for the giving up on men thing…I know I did some ‘dating hiatus’ type posts and also wrote one on wondering if that person was out there for me. I’ll look around for it 🙂

  4. i’ve been revisiting my running logs from a year ago to see if/how i’ve improved, but revisiting blog posts is a great idea…i mean it is one of the reasons i blog! great idea!

  5. ooh, this is a good idea. with your blessing, i am totally going to steal this idea in a couple of days. i’ve got one HELL of a revisit to examine over at my place… 🙂

      1. I like how this community of blogs can be so intertwined. I find myself always inspired for topics…not always directly. Sometimes a tiny something will spark a memory of something that will give me a topic. Other times, it is a direct rip-off, and I am guilty as charged! LOL!

  6. Girl, my blog is over 3 years old. When I moved it, I reread over lots of stuff and whew! Some of it was very cool… realizations and such. And some of it was, well, let’s just say I’m glad I’ve moved forward.

    I remember CBE too. I’m glad you listened to your gut on that one!

  7. I enjoyed reading your series on the end of your marriage. I mean…not that it was enjoyable, but it was very moving. Those who haven’t read that might like to hear how things ended.

    I came in late, and I didn’t read any of your dating escapades before M. I would like to read about some of those.

    1. Ah, yes, the dating escapades. Maybe I’ll post some of my man audit stuff, though that would be hard to repost without all the link backs. Maybe I’ll just point them to you separately so you can see them in all their glory 😉

  8. I think this is so important, as someone who stumbled across your blog NOW would have no idea how far you have come. I loved finding diaries I had written from my childhood years later, and yes, sometimes I felt silly or couldn’t believe how I had felt about certain subjects but it was always a growth experience to look back.

    1. I agree. It is something I have wanted to do anyway so I am glad I am doing it, even though it is tough for me emotionally, to step back into that time and share some of these posts.

  9. Isn’t it crazy how, at the time, we are so lost…trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole…and then once we step back/time goes by/etc and we take a look back…it’s like DUH! What was I thinking?!? 😉

    1. YES! It is amazing. And I am so glad I’m here now, with M, and NOT struggling to piece things together with someone that is not nearly half of what he is or what we have.

  10. I don’t even like to re read my posts on Man Friend because I can tell I’m trying to convince myself that I like him… I really didn’t. He was mildly entertaining, but very irritating. Glad I figured it out eventually at least!

  11. This *is* a great idea! I’ve been very reflective lately, as I often do around my birthday. (It’s also one year since I found a lump in my breast.)

    I feel like the posts from last summer in which you were questioning whether you would find love again would be interesting to revisit. And, maybe also some of the earlier posts when you first met and started dating M. Whatever you choose, I look forward to reading the posts! xoxo

    1. Wow, a year!! That’s amazing. Proud of you!! And yes, I will do some lookbacks at meeting M and also last summer, that’s a good point!

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