As much as I was motivated by my own post last night, I also found myself struggling a bit today.
Struggling because I am exhausted (the time different still gets me. every. single. time.), because I feel as though my mind is in overdrive when I’m at work vs. working (when I work from home, I feel that I get more accomplished, but when I am at work, I get more face time, which causes a new layer of anxiety for me, meeting new faces, figuring out people’s quirks, learning, learning, learning).
Struggling because the days feel supremely long. Of course, it doesn’t help that I got up at 4:45 am today and yesterday morning to check out 24 Hour Fitness’ classes! Just psyched to be able to get a good sweat on while I’m out here vs. piecing together workouts in my room (I do need to find a good running route still.). So, by day’s end, I can barely keep my eyes open and that grand list of things I want to do after work? Go to the beach. Expore. Find new wine places and restaurants. It all seems daunting and unfathomable because I’m just damn tired. Right now, it’s 6:20, but it feels like 9:20. Um, hi, bedtime.
Daily struggles. They’ll get easier. I keep telling myself that. But I know it will. I’ll make it happen. Because that’s how I roll, yo.
Speaking of yesterday’s post, I semi-attempted my ‘going to dinner by myself’ goal. Okay, so it was basically a take-out steak salad/bowl and a diet coke (with a much-craved frozen yogurt after!) but I did eat at the outdoor dining area amongst other people. I was indeed the only one that was alone. And that was weird/scary enough for me for this trip.
I’ll work my way up to full-on dinner with a wait staff, glass of wine, and good book. Or people watching. Or both. One of these trips (hey, I have 4 more between now and June, cut me a little slack okay? And yes, that last sentence was aimed at me, since I am rationalizing my baby step as a legit baby step. It was, I’ll get there). <–clearly I am a little delirious in my post tonight so if my writing comes off as slaphappy or just meandering, that’s why.
(and I haven’t had wine since last weekend…so sad. Tragic, really.)
On to the good stuff!
I met Misty today!! We met for lunch and beforehand, I started getting nervous. I don’t know why. I was excited to meet her, finally (since she lives so close to here). But it occurred to me that it felt like nerves before a first date!
I mean, really, it’s quite similar. You pick a date and time. You tell each other what you’re wearing (okay, so we didn’t do that but I’m glad I generally knew what she looked like!), and then you meet up.
So I did just that. And when I walked over, I even said that I felt like it was a first date, nerves and all.
But it was great. Misty is just as I thought – beautiful, fun, happy. And I do believe we eat at the same pace 😉 We had a good time catching up on all things IRL and bloggy world and recapped how we met M and S (respectively) and just how similar it kind of became so perfectly right. I loved that.
And I loved just talking to someone that has gone through the crap and come out better, stronger, happier on the other side. It’s inspiring. It gives me hope for those I know struggling through pain and heartbreak. There is a light at the other end, I promise.
Anyway, I had a great time, Misty, let’s do it again soon! (and thank you for assuaging my fears of experiencing an earthquake in my room, by myself, in the middle of the night. I didn’t sleep well last night as I was convinced it was going to happen. No clue why. But anyway). 😉
On that note, I hereby end my random of all random posts, but this is how my brain is operating today. Guess it happens to the best of us, right? (perhaps not quite as random as NYSoonerGirl’s dream about me and zombies…but again, I digress). 😉