Taking the training wheels off, one spoke at a time.

This is my last week in the office face-to-face with my boss (who I also consider somewhat of a friend, I might add, as we’ve known each other for 6 years now, and we’re actually the same age), who’s likely going on maternity leave the day I return from Jamaica.

And as I sat in meeting after meeting, I looked around and realized, holy shit, I’m going to have to make all of these decisions on my own. By myself. Without her as my sounding board. And that’s scary.

I need my training wheels! (or do I?)

Sure, I know my shit. I know I do. But she knows the business far deeper than I do (I know enough to ‘be dangerous’ but not to the level she does, with so many nuances to understand and differentiate between. The technology my company creates is well, highly technical. Acronym city. Nuf said). And when we’re in the middle of a conversation with various product managers and such, I confess, I get intimidated. I KNOW my profession ((8.5 years worth and damn proud of it!). I KNOW the answers, but when it comes to judgment calls on certain things, that’s still somewhat foreign to me.

And I know, it’s only been two-ish months and I need to cut myself some slack. Yes, I do and I will. However, I also know that there’s a fair amount of ‘faking it till I make it’ that I have to do and at the base of it all, I need to know my shit. I need this stuff to sink in that I’ve taken notes upon notes on. That I end up just relying on her to answer for me. As my crutch. She won’t be around much longer as my crutch.

So, in the next two weeks before my trip to Jamaica and the whirwind 8 weeks to follow that while she’s gone, I am vowing to take the training wheels off, one spoke at a time. I will celebrate ‘little rocks’ and achievements. And I will learn from my mistakes (though I hope to not make too many!).

I’m a little bit scared, a little bit intimidated, a little bit stressed that it’s going to be insanely busy (and I thought the last two were upside down and sideways!). But at the core of it, I am excited. I know that come June, I will re-read this letter and it’ll feel amazing (I am purposely not re-reading it because I don’t want to ‘remember’ too much about what I said. I want to read it freshly for the first time in June), something I never thought I could do.

I can’t wait for that moment to arrive.

But in the meantime, I’m going to take it one day at a time, and one mile at a time towards that 48,000 mile mark.

*annnd pep talk over*


40 thoughts on “Taking the training wheels off, one spoke at a time.

  1. I can’t believe how fast time has gone and now your boss is almost on her mat leave. When I was offered a management position at my company, I was so reluctant to take it because I didn’t think I’d have all the answers to the questions I’d be asked. But I surprised myself … most of the time … I did have the answers. When I didn’t have the answers, I reached out to some fellow managers and they were more than happy to help me out. It’s scary though, but so rewarding when you realize you really had nothing to worry about in the first place.

    1. You’re telling me!!! πŸ˜‰ It flew by (no pun intended). And you are right, there are plenty of people who will help me if I need it. I know that. It’s just hard to see sometimes when all you see is fear. I am getting past it. Way more than I did in my old job and I was there for 8.5 years (if that says anything about that job vs. this one!!)

  2. Yep we all need these pep talks don’t we? Best thing is to not think about it too much and just do it…exactly like riding a bike. Cause when you think too much you start to wobble πŸ™‚

  3. I hate to break it to you but you may start to wobble if you take them off one spoke at a time. You might consider going for a whole wheel at once! lol πŸ˜‰

    It’s in the bag, baby!

  4. girl, i’ve been at my job for 3+ years (in the industry for 10) and i still rack my brains trying to figure out half the acronyms the product managers and engineers come up with. i’ve come to the point where i just stop them and tell them, “please dumb this down for me.” LOL

    1. Ya know, sometimes I’m afraid to say that because I don’t want to look dumb, but I look dumber if I try to figure it out and do so wrongly, ya know? I need to do that more often! It’s not dumb, it’s smart!

  5. It’s bound to be scary, but I have faith in you. And if you saw it the way the rest of us do, you’d have more faith in you, too.

    Big hugs! You’ve got this!

  6. I would be scared to death too to be honest. What is it with businesses and acronyms? And acronyms for acronyms??? I’ve been with my company almost 3 years now and still feel like I don’t have a clue! sometimes you just wing it ;-0

    1. Ha-ha, glad someone else agrees with me πŸ˜‰ It IS scary, and winging it, as you know, is not my forte πŸ˜‰ But I will go for it, cuz well, I gotta, right?!

  7. You do know that the average worker takes almost 6 to 10 months to provide real value to a new company. Just remember, you are probably ahead of that curve. Just breathe and trust your gut. You’ll be great!

    1. Thank you friend, you’re right, that is very true. I guess I just feel such huge expectations and huge shoes to fill. If I can even fill it halfway, I think that will be success.

  8. You are going to rock this. The fact that you’re worrying and concerned just means you’re smart enough to realize that you can make mistakes. I think in a lot of these situations people assume they know everything and that’s when they actually make mistakes. You’re smart enough to be cautious. I think that’s good. But I know you’re more than capable!

  9. Loved Meg’s comment – how reassuring is that?? We still have tons of months before we have to “prove it” for real. Ha. But, seriously – you SO got this sis. You do. I am so proud of you.

  10. I think you will be amazed how easy it is to make the decisions and how much you will know when you don’t have her around. I think we subconciously talk ourselves out of those decision points when a perceived “expert” is around. Once she isn’t, and you are the go to person, you will just flow into it.

    1. You’re right, I know for a fact that will be a case. I tend to hesitate as I know she won’t always agree with what I say. She is a little more cautious than me on certain things, which is okay, but I know that when I have to make decisions, they will be right. it’s still nerve-wracking!

  11. Ahhhh! I love this post! Go, JOBO, GO!

    Peptalk indeed. I need to do this for myself. I’m too busy giving pep talks to everybody else…

    Trust your instincts. You got this. πŸ™‚

    1. aww thanks T! I LOVE when you love my posts. You’re the best πŸ™‚ You DO need to this yourself…don’t forget to take care of you, okay? You do such a great job taking care of others, but you are super important too. XO!

  12. You are going to ROCK this! It’s going to be so good for you. And if you make mistakes, that’s how you’ll learn.

  13. 8.5 years in the profession — you know your stuff, girl! You’re more than ready to bike without your training wheels. I bet that you’re able to make the right call in 99% of the cases. I also bet that you’re able to know if it’s that 1% of cases that warrant you calling for reinforcements. xoxo

    1. Thank you! I need this kind of encouragement and reminders for days when I feel that I just don’t know my shit. I guess I do. Mostly. Right?

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