“The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people…”

“The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person’s good qualities”

It’s been quite a week for me…my emotions has gone in every direction, from self-conscious, to ashamed, to sad, to happy, to frustrated, to supported and finally, to contentedness. And I thought this quote really fit where my mindset needs to be, rather than striving for perfection in myself, namely, but also in terms of those around me.

We aren’t perfect. None of us are. But that’s what makes life, and the relationships we’re in, so dynamic, real, and well, educational. I learn so much from those around me that have such different perspectives, habits, hang-ups, goals, wants and fears. And it’s also another reason why I get so much out of this blogging community that I feel so fortunate to be part of.

It’s also why I think my relationship with M continues to flourish. Some of his tendencies challenge me. And I’m sure some of mine challenge him. His good qualities, of course, as well as those qualities that I struggle with, to be honest. Like his concept of time that I’ve jokingly discussed, but also talked about in-depth, as it relates to his job. Of course, this one is more my issue, as I need to accept that my timeline for things may not always match his, and sometimes, he’ll ‘be on his way’ over after work, and get hung up with something at work. The bottom line is, it’s not for lacking of trying. It’s an ‘imperfection’ I need to accept because damn, all of his other qualities far surpass this one. And this one is really my issue to contend with.

Just an example.

As for me, and my self-image issues, I need to  live with my own imperfections and realize that those perceived imperfections aren’t so imperfect. They make me, me. And if there wasn’t always a challenge ahead, let’s face it, I’d be bored. So, I’m going to face this challenge head on and sincerely work on it. Because I know it’s not healthy and I know I’m worth more than self-destruction.

On that note, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. And to those who have relatives impacted by the earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan and Hawaii, my prayers are with you.

Cheers, friends.

22 thoughts on ““The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people…”

  1. I love this one, and I have written thoughts on it before (last entry on my “Reflections” page). That is really what love is all about, in my opinion at least. None of us is perfect, and you have to have that ability to love someone’s imperfect humanity, see their goodness, and forgive their flaws.

    That’s real love as far as I’m concerned.

    1. I agree. That is real love. Getting past the hangups and stuff you may not like, finding ways to compromise or fix any major or real ‘issues’ and the rest tends to fall into place from there.

  2. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this tonight. I had a rough week. Frustrated with myself and Mr U. This snapped me back to a balanced perspective of reality. So, thanks. Cheers, T.

    1. aww! So glad it was good timing for you. Anytime I can help with perspective makes me smile…especially when I need to remind myself all the time of the very same thing. XO

  3. Imperfection are beautiful and it’s what makes us all unique and special. I find it interesting looking at relationships and there is research that says you are attracted to a person who has what you don’t have or are lacking and this can be subconscious. I know for myself I always am attracted to men who come from stable families whose parents have a happy marriage. I think this is probably because my parents never got on and sometimes I think this is a fault of mine for going for guys whose parents have the perfect marriage thinking I can have the perfect relationship with that guy. Does that make sense? Sometimes I zone in on this rather than looking at the guy in question. Anyway I’m warbling, have a fun weekend and looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks time!

  4. Love this post for so many reasons. I am one always striving to be perfect (for myself, for my family, for my friends). That takes a hell of a lot of effort and causes a lot of disappointment on my end. I definitely need to recognize the positives of imperfection. Besides, what makes something perfect vs not anyway?

    1. I’m glad this is helpful for you. It’s hard to accept imperfection in self and in others that don’t meet your expectations. VERY hard. I hear you on that. XO

  5. I love this post.

    What is perfection, anyway? What are the standards for it? Are they physical, emotional, spiritual, creative? What?

    When you start to look at “perfect” – you realize that is even a silly notion. On one hand, we can all have our ideas about what “perfect” is, but I bet they change on a daily basis… because we are always in flux. Always growing, evolving… and it’s up to us the direction that takes…

    To me, “perfect” sounds too stagnant, and, like you said, too boring. Let me evolve… let you evolve… let us see where Life takes us together…

    1. Thanks Nikki! Glad you like it and I agree with you, perfect IS a silly notion. Why strive for that anyway? Then what? Where do you go from there? Life is constantly evolving. That’s the point, right?

  6. I think this is so important to remember. I love all the quotes and sayings from this post. You have to be able to be yourself in a relationship. Like you said, nobody’s perfect. It’s funny the guys I’ve dated have all loved my quirks (of which there are many) for the most part. They certainly have never expected me to be perfect. And I’ve never expected perfection from anyone else. It’s about the imperfect parts fitting perfectly together. 🙂

  7. “Because I know it’s not healthy and I know I’m worth more than self-destruction.” Yes. You. Are.

    I’m sorry that this issue has been making you question your own self worth. May that change and your optimism return in full force! If you need to chat, just let me know. xoxo

    1. Thank you City Girl, you are so sweet. I am feeling better now and hope not to feel that way again, and question my worth, I know I am worth it! We all are!

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