Choosing my battles.

I was all ready to write a whiney post about being tired, rundown and stressed over what lies ahead work-wise, but then I read this post from T and watched the video and changed my mind entirely.

Because choosing battles, and what you can affect and influence is far more productive than what you can’t.

Or, as my sister said to me tonight, “don’t steal your own joy.”

Um, dude, so right. Why am I trying to do that?!

To rewind a bit, I woke up exhausted (and awoken suddenly after having a ‘worry dream’ as M always reminds when I tell him I’ve had a bad dream about something random) and wondering if I am already feeling this tired now, and my boss hasn’t even left for maternity leave yet, how will I feel when she does?

…only to be informed that she could go as early as two weeks, but no later than April 4.

Gulp. Far too early for me to feel settled.

So, that feeling of stress and angst carried with me through much of the day. But you know what? I have proven so far that I can do this job and that sure, it will be a learning curve to know as much as she does (and I am realistic in knowing I can’t cram 5 years of her career at this company into two months of mine!) and I’ll just do the best I can.

Accepting that I can only affect what is in my control.Not what isn’t.

And sure, the travel is wearing. Sure, I miss M, my family and my cats (don’t laugh!). And sure, I am not looking forward to another short week-long furlough between trips. But after that? Jamaica. That trip stays intact whether my boss goes on leave early or not. And that’s reason #257 why I love my job.

So, I plan to go into the rest of the evening, enjoying some quiet time, perhaps a little Core Fusion, and look forward to stepping on that plane tomorrow, towards home…because that’s truly where my heart is.

And sometimes, that’s all that matters.


20 thoughts on “Choosing my battles.

  1. It’s new, that’s why it’s exhausting. You’ll settle in and find ways to get your peace & rest.

    Thanks for the link love. I have watched that video so many times already. Such a powerful message.

  2. i have SO, SO much trouble with acceptance! it’s the biggest problem i have in my life, because i can trace all my other worries back to not accepting things i can’t change. thanks for the reminder!

    1. It IS hard to accept acceptance (if that makes sense). It’s a control thing or something. It’s hard to do, but once you realize that you can’t change it all, it helps a little.

  3. Travelling is exhausting, I think it’s the waiting around in airports that’s tiring on the mind and body and you had a long wait around this week. Being away from home is tiring too I think, I get like that when I’m on my work overnights and always get excited to get back home. Hope your night in the hotel was relaxing and have a safe flight back home.

  4. I was hired to replace a woman while she is on maternity leave. She had her baby yesterday and it was my first day solo….holy shit….I’m not going to lie…stressful and scary. All I could tell myself was jump and try.

    1. Yes…because the natural inclination is to focus on what we CAN’T change because that’s usually the part that is the most frustrating!

  5. Love Shannon’s comment and totally agree – jump and try, it’s all you can do, right?? And um, dude – stop stealing your own damn joy already!! 😉 xo

    1. It’s hard not to control everything…but it isn’t always good to try to either. There is a happy medium to strive for in that.

  6. Once again, you sister is rather clever. I think we all need to remember not to steal our own joy.

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