The ups and downs.

I was flying high yesterday. Today?  Still had a great day on the job, but around 3 pm today, it hit me.

A wave of homesickness.

In realizing that I still had two full days left before I’d be home (and a full afternoon of meetings and work to accomplish, when in my brain, it felt like 6 pm, not 3 pm), I got sad.

I know it’s normal that I’ll feel homesick sometimes. Usually during the downtime on days I don’t have as much planned during the evenings (like tonight) and that the majority of the time I will be okay, and I will enjoy it and stretch myself out of my comfort zone.

So rather than wallow in it in my hotel room as my habitual side of me would prefer to do…I opted to shake myself out of it. Or at least attempt to.

First attempt:

After sitting in meetings all day, I needed to get some energy out. So I figured I’d explore the hotel gym. Given my hotel is pretty nice, I figured the gym would be pretty good (I have low expectations for hotel gyms, generally, as they are often tiny and not well kept).

Wrong.

It was literally half the size of my hotel room and the equipment was ancient. One treadmill dreadmill. That’s it! But I soldiered on. The damn dreadmill was ridiculously awful though and after 10 minutes, my shins ached and it felt like with every step, my joints were collapsing into my bones. SO unsupported. Fail. I finished my up my pitiful attempt on the bike (which is almost worse than the dreadmill, in my opinion). The only good news is that I got a good sweat on, anyway, and shook out the sitting-all-day cobwebs. I’ll give myself a half a point for the attempt.

Second attempt:

Dinner.

One of the things I hate about traveling is how much eating out there is, just by nature of not having a kitchen or even a mini-fridge at my disposal. I didn’t know what I wanted. I wasn’t in the mood for anything and just wanted a home-cooked meal (knowing that M was home cooking up a chicken curry was making me more homesick and homecooked meal-sick!). I ventured out anyway to see what I could find closeby. Ended up at Panera, which is okay, but to me, more of a ‘lunch’ place but I wanted something quick and relatively low fat so in I went. Got low-fat chicken soup and a salad. Ventured back to my hotel and opened the soup. Almost entirely broth. Fail. Ate (er, drank?) the soup and the salad but am now feeling slightly underwhelmed. What can I expect, I suppose…it is Panera, not Capital Grille! 😉 I will, however, give myself a point for going out to check out something local rather than holing up in my room.

Third attempt:

Home contact.

My sister Jess talked me off the homesickness ledge (thank you!) and reminded me of the fabulous weekend (LONG weekend, I might add) we have planned (more on that later) and made a few jokes to make me giggle (even used the word ‘swell’ in a sentence…Hi, Mr. Brady. That’s all I think of when I hear the word ‘swell’ – the Brady Bunch!).

My mom updated me on my kitties at home as she’s taking care (GOOD care of them, I might add, she even brought them organic cat treats!) of them for me this week. Made me smile that they were cuddly and happy.

M gave me a pep talk and encouraged me that I am at a job I love, in a warm, fun place, and that there are only two more days until he can give me a hug, rub my feet (man, he gives good foot rubs, just sayin) and spend the weekend with me. Sigh. He’s the best. Always knows what to say (even when I know he misses me, as I miss him, he isn’t a downer about it. He’ll tell me he misses me, but he isn’t mopey. I don’t do mopey well.).

Success.

So, after an up and down afternoon and being close to tears as the wave of homesickness overcame me, I realize that this is where I am meant to be. This is what I am meant to be doing. It’s stretching me, it’s making me uncomfortable, but I’ll be damned if I don’t come out of this in the next few months better, stronger, and more confident.

A little homesickess never hurt anyone, right?

 

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34 thoughts on “The ups and downs.

  1. Homesickness is the worst, and I should know because I get homesick so easily. I’m glad you had your support system to lean on and hope you feel better soon – the week is almost over!

  2. Sorry you had a rough day. I hope the next couple are much easier on you! I’m sure they will be. You should get yourself a massage one of these nights while you’re there… it would help you relax and unwind. 🙂

  3. Homesickness sucks, some days you just get it and it’s hard to cheer yourself up. It’s funny the things that can trigger homesickness. One minute you can be fine and then the next minute, all you want to do is be at home. I remember I used to get it all the time when I was at boarding school. Strangely enough I didn’t get it when I lived in Australia or when I worked in the States. Maybe because they were fun times and school was school and work is work for you if that makes sense. On the bright side, it’s nearly the weekend and you’ll be going home and seeing M and having a great weekend!

  4. I know it seems hard right now, but you’re having an adventure lots of people would kill for. Plus, one day, when you’re settled at home with kids, you’ll look back on this and be so thankful that you took the opportunity when you had it.

  5. Awww, I understand. And I think you are doing amazingly well. I know I couldn’t do what you are doing…so much travel. (More logistics with the kids than anything else.) And I am so proud of you.

    Chin up! Big hugs!

  6. Totalllly agree with what everyone has said so far here! Especially about the massage, hehe. 😉 I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times more – I am SO frickin’ proud of you for stepping SO far out of your comfort zone! You impress the hell outta me, if you didn’t know that already. You do. The fact that you have so few of these down days is amazing to me! I’m glad I could cheer you up last night. That makes me feel swell, hehe. xoxoxo

    1. thank you sis. You are right. And sometimes I just need to hear it, and realize that I am doing something completely out of the norm for me. I am glad you could cheer me up too. You sure are swell 😉

  7. Awww, so sorry girl. Hugs. I hear you on less than stellar eats, makes you just not even want to mess with it. And those damn hotel gyms. Seriously, why is it so hard to maintain at least a few pieces of nice equipment??? The last hotel I was in that had shitty equipment, I left a long suggestion note 😉 Maybe that’ll help LOL

    1. Yes, I know you can totally relate to crappy food! And the stupid gym was awful. If it wasn’t raining, I Wouldn’t even have had to attempt it! A suggestion is a good idea!

  8. Awe, I’m sorry you had a sucky day. Homesickness does suck, and I’m sorry that the gym sucked too and your watery soup 😦

    Hopefully today will start and end much more positively and the time will fly until it is time to get back on the plane and go home!

  9. When I traveled all the time with work, especially where it was warm, I would go for night time swims in the hotel pool. So awesome to swim under the night sky…

    If the hotel gym is awful, why not go for a run outside? Another friend of mine would also call around to local gyms and get a temporary membership so he could work out while traveling. Me? I like to explore. I would find something cool to do or just go for a long walk to explore the area.

    Or… one of my FAVE things to do was order room service and rent a movie. It was sweet time to myself.

    You’ll get into a comfort zone soon. You’ll figure it out. How awesome to have the support you do!

    1. A run outside is what I would prefer! It was raining though that’s why I attempted the damn dreadmill! I am going to try to explore more too, get out of the ole zone. I love the movie idea too…yes! Must do.

  10. I get homesick on trips too. The most common trigger for me? When I see someone walking their dogs. Instant desire to be home that very second. But I know that I will go home and I will feel as though I never left as soon as I see my dogs and the cat. The eatting failures are never ending. Say what you will but I love the Olive Garden. I was so excited to eat there last week and I had a terrible meal. My food itself was good. But the breadsticks? The breadsticks! Were terrible. If I were a person who cries I think a single solitary tear would have rolled down my cheek.

    1. Yes! Seeing one of my friend’s cat pics on facebook last night made me miss mine! So true, right? And breadsticks at olive garden…yum! How could they be crappy! I’d shed a tear too.

  11. i get homesick a lot. when i’m in louisiana, i miss DC. when i’m in alabama, i miss louisiana. when i’m in DC, i miss alabama. lather, rinse, repeat. i tend to suffer big-time from “grass is greener” syndrome, where i forget all the annoyances of living in a place and elevate all the good parts to shining-high pedestal status.

    so it’s a) good that you’re in touch with your emotions and b) proactive enough to try to beat it down. i usually respond to homesickness with pouting, snappish behavior and naps. not becoming at all…

  12. I think homesickness helps put in perspective how great home really is. I’m feeling it lately too. And the Mr. Brady swell thing made me laugh out loud!

  13. I have struggled with homesickness my WHOLE life. Still do! I guess that’s why I don’t see myself ever moving away from Indy (unless my family does). 🙂 I definitely think it’s normal and GOOD – it shows you care. And you have all of the right coping strategies, too. Will your traveling settle down in the future at all?

  14. Being homesick hits us all from time-to-time. You felt it, and you dealt with it. Some days on the road will be easier, and some won’t, but you employed a lot of good strategies (although hopefully the exercise room at the next hotel won’t be as horrid). xoxo

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