I was flying high yesterday. Today? Still had a great day on the job, but around 3 pm today, it hit me.
A wave of homesickness.
In realizing that I still had two full days left before I’d be home (and a full afternoon of meetings and work to accomplish, when in my brain, it felt like 6 pm, not 3 pm), I got sad.
I know it’s normal that I’ll feel homesick sometimes. Usually during the downtime on days I don’t have as much planned during the evenings (like tonight) and that the majority of the time I will be okay, and I will enjoy it and stretch myself out of my comfort zone.
So rather than wallow in it in my hotel room as my habitual side of me would prefer to do…I opted to shake myself out of it. Or at least attempt to.
After sitting in meetings all day, I needed to get some energy out. So I figured I’d explore the hotel gym. Given my hotel is pretty nice, I figured the gym would be pretty good (I have low expectations for hotel gyms, generally, as they are often tiny and not well kept).
It was literally half the size of my hotel room and the equipment was ancient. One
treadmill dreadmill. That’s it! But I soldiered on. The damn dreadmill was ridiculously awful though and after 10 minutes, my shins ached and it felt like with every step, my joints were collapsing into my bones. SO unsupported. Fail. I finished my up my pitiful attempt on the bike (which is almost worse than the dreadmill, in my opinion). The only good news is that I got a good sweat on, anyway, and shook out the sitting-all-day cobwebs. I’ll give myself a half a point for the attempt.
One of the things I hate about traveling is how much eating out there is, just by nature of not having a kitchen or even a mini-fridge at my disposal. I didn’t know what I wanted. I wasn’t in the mood for anything and just wanted a home-cooked meal (knowing that M was home cooking up a chicken curry was making me more homesick and homecooked meal-sick!). I ventured out anyway to see what I could find closeby. Ended up at Panera, which is okay, but to me, more of a ‘lunch’ place but I wanted something quick and relatively low fat so in I went. Got low-fat chicken soup and a salad. Ventured back to my hotel and opened the soup. Almost entirely broth. Fail. Ate (er, drank?) the soup and the salad but am now feeling slightly underwhelmed. What can I expect, I suppose…it is Panera, not Capital Grille! 😉 I will, however, give myself a point for going out to check out something local rather than holing up in my room.
My sister Jess talked me off the homesickness ledge (thank you!) and reminded me of the fabulous weekend (LONG weekend, I might add) we have planned (more on that later) and made a few jokes to make me giggle (even used the word ‘swell’ in a sentence…Hi, Mr. Brady. That’s all I think of when I hear the word ‘swell’ – the Brady Bunch!).
My mom updated me on my kitties at home as she’s taking care (GOOD care of them, I might add, she even brought them organic cat treats!) of them for me this week. Made me smile that they were cuddly and happy.
M gave me a pep talk and encouraged me that I am at a job I love, in a warm, fun place, and that there are only two more days until he can give me a hug, rub my feet (man, he gives good foot rubs, just sayin) and spend the weekend with me. Sigh. He’s the best. Always knows what to say (even when I know he misses me, as I miss him, he isn’t a downer about it. He’ll tell me he misses me, but he isn’t mopey. I don’t do mopey well.).
So, after an up and down afternoon and being close to tears as the wave of homesickness overcame me, I realize that this is where I am meant to be. This is what I am meant to be doing. It’s stretching me, it’s making me uncomfortable, but I’ll be damned if I don’t come out of this in the next few months better, stronger, and more confident.
A little homesickess never hurt anyone, right?