It sounds simple. It sounds easy. It sounds like a n0-brainer. Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Love happens.
But sometimes, it is truly easier said than done (Marathon’s Mistress says it well in this recent post). Don’t get me wrong, I have known I loved M for almost as long as he told me he loved me last fall, but there was part of me that wasn’t fully allowing that love to happen. But something snapped in me last week when I saw M during the week for dinner. It was this pull, this need to be near him, to show him I absolutely love him, to accept and allow how much he loves me, too.It was then that I realized in every movement, in every thought, and in every action, he is on my mind, he is who I want to be with for as long as we are meant to be together, he is the man I was meant to meet and fall in love with.
I’m not scared.
I’m not railing against it.
I’m not struggling to find balance.
I’m not worrying how he feels about me, or what he’s thinking.
I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I’m in love.
I’m hopeful for our future together.
And, I’m at peace with where I am, in the here and now.
Almost five years since I got married to the man I thought I was meant to be with forever…I know, without a shadow of a doubt, my life has led me to M, as the man that was meant for me, far more than I ever imagined.
Another reason I know that I’m head over heels in love with M?
I cried this morning when I said goodbye, as I head out to Costa Mesa this afternoon for my next week-long trip. I haven’t really cried when I’ve left for my last few trips, with him, even though I was sad to say goodbye. This felt different. My heart ached. I was sad. I wanted to hug him and never let go. I wanted to sink into him and just be.