I’m noticing a smattering of breakthroughs in the last day or so, and even though I had another post in mind for tonight, I’m gonna go with the flow on this one (wow, so un-routine of me. *gasp*).


Saying no.

We had a breakthrough tonight. Kind of (well, to me it was, but to you, it may not be). Our plan tonight was for him to come by after work and given it usually takes him until 7:30 or so to get to my place after getting out of work (remember, he has no concept of time), my plan was to go to Group Kick first, getting home just around 7:30 as well (also a mini-breakthrough – to be ‘seen’ by him all scrubby after a workout. Huge for me).

He called me around lunch and realized he had forgotten his workout clothes. He thought he would go home after work, work out, shower, and then come over. In my mind, I’m thinking ‘no concept of time’ – here we go! – because, let’s face it, after all of that, he likely wouldn’t be over until 9. And I knew he’s stressed about getting some homework done this week and hasn’t had much of a chance. So I told him maybe he ought to stay home and get stuff done. To which he said that he’d skip the gym so he could come over earlier. To which I replied, “you don’t have to change your plan or sacrifice your routine to come see me, we have the weekend too, it’s okay!”

Fast forward to post-Group Kick.

I called him. He sounded absolutely drained. He wasn’t even home yet (let alone worked out or showered). I finally just said, “stay home. you sound drained. you NEED tonight.” He paused, and finally replied, “yeah, I think I will.” So even though it took me basically telling him to stay home, I am glad he is, because I know he will feel 100% better tomorrow once he’s gotten through some homework and had a night to un-drain himself.

I could almost see the lightbulb go off in his brain though. As if he realized that ‘yeah, she will be okay if I say no.’ I know that sounds silly, but it feels like it was a clarifying moment for him, and for me, to be as pointed as I was with him tonight (nicely, of course).



When I went to Group Kick tonight, one of my friends asked how the adjustment is working from home. And now that I’m in full swing with it, I am realizing that I AM adjusted, for the most part.

My new routine is built, I love the flexibility I have to really focus on my job and what needs to get done, but also making sure I take mini-breaks and my lunch break. The full hour lunch break seems to be a huge thing where I work. Everyone unplugs for that full hour.

This is a novel concept to me.

I am so used to hovering over my laptop working and eating and multi-tasking. They unplug. I love that. It makes me feel better about doing the same (as odd as that sounds). I’ve tended to actually work through lunch about half the time and take ‘their’ lunch (noon PT, which is 3 ET, my time) and doing something for me. I’ll go get coffee, or do a quick errand, or do Core Fusion. It’s actually a great way for me to break up the day.



Speaking of Core Fusion, this is my second week of the Core Fusion Challenge I am doing with my sister and it is absolutely enlightening. It’s working wonders. I feel stronger. I feel tighter. I can see definition starting to appear where it never did before, with other workouts. It’s challenging in a completely new way.

And, I had my first semi-decent 3 mile run this week. I’ve had a hell of a time trying to get my mojo back after the half marathon I ran last fall and for the first time in a long time, I had a relatively good run without any breathing problems.



Sometimes it’s the little breakthroughs that add up to feelings of great progress. This is one of those days.


31 thoughts on “Breakthroughs

  1. First of all, great news on “M” doing what he needed to do for him, even if you did nudge him a little. I think you guys are going to be fine in that department, I just think he’s a pleaser and the more comfortable he gets with you the more he will be inclined to tell you what he needs. That’s progress.

    Secondly, congrats on your fitness goal progress. I imagine that for people like you and your sister, you have to mix it up and try new things otherwise your body will get in a rut, right?

    And last of all, glad you have adjusted to working from home. I am sure you are much better at it than me. I sort of fly by the seat of my pants. I could stand to establish a routine. It’s always on my to-do list.

    1. Thank you! Yes, he IS a pleaser but I am trying to help him break that auto-habit he has. This felt huge to me! So for that, I am glad. As for the fitness stuff…yea, it is sort of just something I dig. It’s not for everyone, but for me, it’s always been something that I love. The mixing it up is key. As for the working from home, yea, so far, so good, in the routine department. I know it will get mad crazy when my boss goes on maternity leave, so for now, I’ll embrace what I can routine-wise!

  2. yay breakthroughs. πŸ™‚ and congrats on the fitness challenge! that sounds amazing. i still haven’t started that DVD yet, but i think i will soon if it’s that good..

  3. I’ve gotten spoiled working from home 2 days in a row. I get more done, and actually get up and move around rather than just sit at the computer all day never moving (so bad for you). I’m loving your breakthroughs. I really “feel” your happiness with all this newness and it’s great.

  4. YES! Love this! And I think sometimes we do need to remind our men that we ARE okay and that we CAN take care of things ourselves. Men want to nurture in their own way too.

    Good for you for these great breakthroughs in your routines & workouts.

    Have an awesome weekend!

  5. Love those days when things just happen and work. Sounds like M is slowly expressing his needs and took time for himself yesterday. Glad your new job is working and you can make it fit your lifestyle. I try and make work and the odd hours ( I work two or three long overnights and the have time off each week) to suit my lifestyle, it took some getting used to but think I’ve figured it out now. Well done on the core fusion challenge.

  6. I second all comments that say the following: hoorah for breakthroughs!

    And it really is the little things that matter sometimes. The “lightbulb” moments that end up adding up in the end! I agree – it was a breakthrough, even if it could be seen as minor (i.e. you told him to stay home first). πŸ˜€

  7. 1. all awesome news.. πŸ™‚
    2. how strange to have to encourage a man to put himself first.. *cue twilight zone music*
    3. loving the way you’re living lately, lady.


  8. I love this – when you see it all together in one spot, it feels monumental! All those little mini realizations and breakthroughs really add up! I love it! I agree on CF too – it feels better and better as time goes on, I’m LOVING it!

  9. I think that is so awesome. I am one that doesnt take No very well. Especially if its something I was planning on or realy looking fwd to. Pathetic I know.

    I am sure this puts some pressure on my sportsman to always please me. I have recently tried to be more flexible with what I expect.
    Work in progress.

    1. Work in progress is still good…aren’t we all? Besides, being aware of what you want and need and vice versa is a good thing. Being open and sharing is a good thing. As is working on it together!

  10. Those are awesome breakthroughs! It’s not just you who thinks that. I love to see your relationship with M evolving.

  11. I love that you feel comfortable enough with M to have even suggested that he stay home. It shows a level of security about your relationship. I’m smiling at my laptop for you! xoxo

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