Changing it back absolutely sucks.
Case in point? Changing my passport over from my married name to my maiden name. Care to hear the story? Here goes…in step by step fashion for your reading convenience 😉
- Rifle through piles of paperwork to look for divorce decree so I can get a new passport (which, by the way will cost a whopping $110 to replace since the name change happened more than a year after the name change occurred. Fail #1). Can’t find said divorce decree (fail #2).
- Call the ex to ask him if he has a copy. He says I had the only copy (I call BS on that and ask him to look as I guarantee we were both mailed copies!). He looks. Doesn’t find it. (fail #3)
- I then call the passport office to see if I can use my separation papers and court filing as proof instead. Nope, has to be the divorce decree. (fail #4).
- I contact my lawyer and ask if she can email me a copy. She can (score!) but then reminds me that I need a certified copy anyway and that she can’t provide (fail #5).
- I go to probate and family court this morning before work to get said divorce decree (and circle courthouse 4 times before finding a spot. semi-fail).
- Security. Asks if I have more than a cell phone in my purse. I say no. The security guard points to the screen and says “what’s that then?” Woops, forgot my camera was in there. I have to leave it there, checked, until I return. (annoying, but not quite a fail, moreso on me!)
- I go up to the room to request the appropriate form. I get my file, rifle through and the divorce decree isn’t certified. They send me around the corner to another office to get a certified copy (fail #6 – costs $25. Grr.)
- I gather my camera, and trot over to the district courthouse as the passport office said I can get my passport sent in easily that way. I *again* go through security and have to leave my camera (annoying…) and go to the clerk’s office. They tell me they can do it but it costs $25 to mail. WTF? They tell me to go to the post office and mail it myself instead to avoid the cost (nice gesture. and she also helped make sure I had all the right docs and gave me an envelope!). Fail #7.
- I go to the flippin post office, and finally, FINALLY mail my passport, with the $110 check plus the cost of mailing ($5.85) for a total of $140.85 to replace my less-than-three year old passport allll because of my name change. Massive fail #8.
The good news? THAT means I can finally book the trip I keep mentioning…M and I are going on vacation together!! Jamaica. Late March. With my sister and brother in law. Hell-bent on booking that sucker tonight now that my passport is officially en route. Bring on the beach, cocktails, sun, relaxation and what I can only imagine will be one hell of a trip. (anyone else feel like joining? Please do! The more, the merrier, in my book!)
This does bring me back to my original point…why I may never change my last name again. For starters, I’m still going with the ‘never say never’ mentality to remarrying (I won’t say I definitely won’t remarry, but I am not sure if I will. Time will tell I suppose) and changing my name? Well…I’m just not sure if I will or not IF I do remarry. Beyond it being a huge pain in the ass to ever change back (not that I am planning on a repeat divorce by any stretch, but I guess it’s also the slight fear/cynicism in me), my name is so ME. I’ve embraced it since regaining it and am not sure I want to change that again. Sure, it’s ‘just’ a name, but after ‘losing’ it, it feels too significant to not at least think about and take heavy consideration into account if I ever come upon that decision again.
It was also weird going through all of the paperwork again yesterday. It all came rushing back. Our initial rudimentary separation agreement that I remember tearfully writing, with my ex sitting next to me. We made that soon after we decided he was moving out and we were officially going to separate. Our official separation agreement and detailed financial statements. And our divorce agreement and paperwork. And lest not forget all of the gory details of the short sale we had to go through. I could barely look at those documents, but the rest, well, the rest just felt like a lifetime ago. And it was. This is now. And it’s amazing.