In my ongoing effort to convince M that he can say no to me (of course) and make a decision based on what he wants, not mostly based on what I want, we had an interesting, and somewhat comical discussion tonight. We were deciding whether or not to make the trek over to Group Ride this icy evening (of note, the gym is two minutes from my house but even my own motivation was waning!)
Me: So, you are going to make a decision. Are you ready?
M: What? What do you mean?
Me: I want YOU to decide whether we go to Ride tonight.
M: Well, what do you want to do?
Me: SEE! This is what I mean. What do YOU want to do?
M: *scratching head* I’ll go either way. I’m indifferent.
Me: But I want YOU to decide if you want to go. Pretend I’m not here. Would you go? I can go anytime I want, you can’t (note: he doesn’t have a membership to my gym, but I think that’s going to be my Valentine’s Day gift to him. Shh, don’t tell.)
M: Am I annoying you? Why does that bother you? I want to do what you want to do.
Me: I just want you to do things that you want to do too, not just me. I don’t want you to feel stifled or get resentful in the long run because we never do what you want.
M: Okay. I get that…*getting distracted* I will go clear off our cars and see how it goes. How about that?
So, we’re getting somewhere, but slowly. Very slowly. I know part of it is that he genuinely does want me to be happy and to spend time together. I completely get that. And I love that. But I want to try to use small examples like this to show him that he CAN and SHOULD make decisions too.
Now this conversation is pretty hysterical. Call it cabin fever. Call it our weird sense of humor. But we tend to get into really wacky conversations at night before we drift off to sleep. Not always, just sometimes. Last night was one of those nights where we just kept giggling to the point of tears over the most inane conversation. Here goes (TMI alert, it’s kinda “hi, I’m 12” conversation about to play out!).
Me: Is there anything that would turn you off while we’re in bed?
M: No, not really. I’m pretty sure that’s not possible. Why?
Me: What if I farted? Like a really smelly one…an SBD!? (note: I would NEVER EVER fart in front of him, or well, anyone, for the record).
M: *laughing hysterically* No, I think I could ignore it.
Me: What if I peed on you?
M: Depends on the context of said peeing.
Me: *laughing hysterically* Eww! What if I shit all over the bed? (and wow, I can’t believe I am actually writing this for all of you to read. I must sound absolutely disguisting. Or, 12.)
M: *laughing hysterically* Okay, yes, if you shit the bed, that would be a turn off.
*conversation then shifts to bad shits*
M: Don’t you hate those poops that are so long that the top of it sticks out of the toilet water and smells? And looks like this? *mimicing a poop that looks like the scope on a submarine.* Hello, I’m a stinky poop!
Me: *crying, legit. Laughing so hard, tears are streaming down my face*
Um yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was the extent of our conversation last night. Hysterical. Innapropriate. Ridiculous. And one of the many reasons I love him…he has a hysterical sense of humor.