Conversations with M.

In my ongoing effort to convince M that he can say no to me (of course) and make a decision based on what he wants, not mostly based on what I want, we had an interesting, and somewhat comical discussion tonight. We were deciding whether or not to make the trek over to Group Ride this icy evening (of note, the gym is two minutes from my house but even my own motivation was waning!)

Me: So, you are going to make a decision. Are you ready?

M: What? What do you mean?

Me: I want YOU to decide whether we go to Ride tonight.

M: Well, what do you want to do?

Me: SEE! This is what I mean. What do YOU want to do?

M: *scratching head* I’ll go either way. I’m indifferent.

Me: But I want YOU to decide if you want to go. Pretend I’m not here. Would you go? I can go anytime I want, you can’t (note: he doesn’t have a membership to my gym, but I think that’s going to be my Valentine’s Day gift to him. Shh, don’t tell.)

M: Am I annoying you? Why does that bother you? I want to do what you want to do.

Me: I just want you to do things that you want to do too, not just me. I don’t want you to feel stifled or get resentful in the long run because we never do what you want.

M: Okay. I get that…*getting distracted* I will go clear off our cars and see how it goes. How about that?

So, we’re getting somewhere, but slowly. Very slowly. I know part of it is that he genuinely does want me to be happy and to spend time together. I completely get that. And I love that. But I want to try to use small examples like this to show him that he CAN and SHOULD make decisions too.


Now this conversation is pretty hysterical. Call it cabin fever. Call it our weird sense of humor. But we tend to get into really wacky conversations at night before we drift off to sleep. Not always, just sometimes. Last night was one of those nights where we just kept giggling to the point of tears over the most inane conversation. Here goes (TMI alert, it’s kinda “hi, I’m 12” conversation about to play out!).

Me: Is there anything that would turn you off while we’re in bed?

M: No, not really. I’m pretty sure that’s not possible. Why?

Me: What if I farted? Like a really smelly one…an SBD!? (note: I would NEVER EVER fart in front of him, or well, anyone, for the record).

M: *laughing hysterically* No, I think I could ignore it.

Me: What if I peed on you?

M: Depends on the context of said peeing.

Me: *laughing hysterically* Eww! What if I shit all over the bed? (and wow, I can’t believe I am actually writing this for all of you to read. I must sound absolutely disguisting. Or, 12.)

M: *laughing hysterically* Okay, yes, if you shit the bed, that would be a turn off.

*conversation then shifts to bad shits*

M: Don’t you hate those poops that are so long that the top of it sticks out of the toilet water and smells? And looks like this? *mimicing a poop that looks like the scope on a submarine.* Hello, I’m a stinky poop!

Me: *crying, legit. Laughing so hard, tears are streaming down my face*

Um yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was the extent of our conversation last night. Hysterical. Innapropriate. Ridiculous. And one of the many reasons I love him…he has a hysterical sense of humor.


51 thoughts on “Conversations with M.

  1. OMG. This LITERALLY had me laughing right out loud.

    Yes, I have the heart of a 12 year old boy.

    Part of what made me laugh is that CBG is NOT into shit jokes at all. As my 7 year old says, “He’s not really into the toilet humour.”

    But me? Um…yeah. I can make poop jokes all day long and laugh at how funny I am. πŸ˜‰

    1. LOL! I LOL’d reading your response! I too, am 12 at heart, because I was laughing so hard to the point that my stomach hurt! I have no idea why, but I love toilet humor! Always cracks me up. Your 7 year old’s comment is awesome ‘hes not really into toilet humor’ – LOL!

  2. NySoonerGirl is gonna LOVE this post! Ew, I’m not so into toilet humor either! But I did laugh. You guys are too cute.

  3. Okay, I am so pissed, I had a whole witty response to this typed out and then my phone rang and I hit the keyboard and it disappeared.

    But seriously, it is clear….I mean, very very clear, that you guys have left the honeymoon stage. I mean, this folks is true comfort with one another. In fact, I encourage you to fart in front of him. I mean, why not! LOL.

    But seriously, I think you should continue to try and put him in the driver’s seat. I would have been extremely frustrated with the convo above. In fact, it reads like something that was said between Ty and I, except I flipped my lid at the end of the conversation. The difference is, you actually like M and I was at the end of my rope with Ty. I would feel pressured if I always had to run the show and make the decisions. I suspect that M is like this because it is still so new and he wants to please. Hopefully that is true, and he gets more assertive as time goes on. Could he be any nicer? He must have another side and I can’t wait until you blog about it so that I know he isn’t perfectly behaved ALL the time, lol.

    1. Aw! I hate when witty comments dissapear. And yes, we are very comfortable with each other now, and I think that will help him realize that he can be comfortable telling me what he wants and what he doesn’t. Today’s conversation (not the farting one!) made it clear that it is a complete mindset change for him and it just won’t happen overnight. Again, I don’t want to change him, I just want him to speak his mind and challenge me on things that we do. He challenges me on other things, other conversations and opinions, so I know he has it in him!

    2. And yes, he is incredibly nice. But he’s also supremely sarcastic and has some witty comments when it comes to certain coworkers and such. He’s not mean, but he’s definitely not *only* nice.

  4. Oh Hardscape has been known to fart in bed often…nightly in fact. hell, so do I. However if he shits we could have a problem. WE got a bit of cabin fever yesterday too and my gym was closed!

    1. LOL! See, I could never fart in front of him! Or anything like that. I never have been able to. I guess that’s my line πŸ˜‰ Cabin fever, like whoa.

  5. SBD???! Oh no you di’n’t!!!


    I swear I *have* had this conversation before…

    …wait for it…

    with my teenage son!

    Only, he is very proud of the ones that poke up out of the water.

    Cowering back into my cave. I have an online class in 18 minutes, and I’m engaging in bathroom humor. What next?!

      1. Actually, we did have a similar discussion. He told me that he likes to fart, and he has been ‘behaving’ in front of me lately. I told him that he can do what he has to do, but if he dutch oven’s me in the bed or the car that I will sue! I sheepishly admitted that one is always threatening to come out and embarrass me to dying death, and that I wish he would already to relieve the pressure! He said one of us just needs to break the ice!

  6. re: the first conversation – oh, my lord, i have that same exact talk with the man at least three times a week. gaah, i hate it. i hate it so much. it’s getting to the point where the phrase “i don’t care” makes my skin crawl!

    he’s such a sweet guy, and honestly, about 6 times out of 10 he truly does not have an opinion on a given subject. but still. yikes! i think i’m going to have to start putting my foot down on this one… i’ll use this as inspiration…

    1. Wow, our men really ARE alike aren’t they? Well, we sort of had a breakthrough last night when I asked him more about WHY he just goes with the flow so much. He said his ex wife was very controlling and he eventually just went with it because it was easier. So that clears up a LOT. And he said it will just take him time to break out of that habit, but he genuinely DOES like to do what makes me happy too.

  7. Funny glad you guys are having a good time being snowed in. Would you believe I can never poop when I’m with a guy at the beginning. I’ll always have to go to the bathroom in the hotel reception if I need to poop rather than the bedroom toilet if I’m away with a guy on holidays in the early days.

    I was thinking too maybe M will never be good at making decisions in your relationship and will always let you take the lead. Maybe that’s not his strong point in relationships and maybe that’s just him. Maybe M won’t be able to change this but would it be the end of the world if he didn’t? It seems like you guys have a wonderful special relationship.

    1. I can’t either Susan! It takes awhile to get comfortable enough to do that in close proximity to a man! And you are right, it is not the end of the world if M lets me take the lead on some things…just not always, because then it just gets a little boring. Working on it!

  8. Yup. We’ve lately been on a string of bodily function talks…mostly because everyone in his family has wanted to know about his bodily functions while he’s been sick.

    And it would help me out a lot if you would let all the men in the world believe we don’t EVER fart. I almost have S convinced. Going on three years and he’s never heard or smelled one. πŸ˜‰

    1. That’s funny. Yes, the bodily function chatter when ill is definitely one of those convos. And yes, I will spread the word that we women? Yeah, we NEVER fart. Ever.

  9. Hahaha! That was awesome. Absolutely awesome.

    And HS Marine and I fart in front of each other all the time. Honestly, it’s those situations where we laugh the hardest!

    1. LOL! Knew you’d like that one πŸ˜‰ Yes, we seriously laugh SO hard when we get into these random conversations. They are the best kind as far as I’m concerned.

  10. Poop discussions must have beenthe order of the day recently! Three of my kids reported conversations with poop as the major theme to me recently. My youngest girls came home from school (8th grade) and told me why their friend, a boy from China who has lived in the US for 2 or 3 years now, doesn’t like “Chinese Peoples” (his words). Its because they poop all over, wherever and whenever they want! I’m guessing his family in China don’t do this? Anyway, I think he’s kind of obsessed or at least intrigued with poop in general. His FB picture is a pink pile of poop. Who would chooose that? I, like you, always think of poop as a pretty gross thing. I don’t want to talk about it or have it as my FB profile! Then a girl my oldest daughter (HS senior) knows came back from the bathroom in class one day, having taken a picture of her poop! What? Who would admit and advertise this?? Have times changed? Maybe I’m old fashioned? Hmm. Maybe pooping in the bed wouldn’t be the grossest thing to some people…

    1. LOL! Wow, those are some funny stories. I can’t imagine posting a picture of poop on my FB page either. That’s crossing the poop line πŸ˜‰

    1. I am too, so that’s why it’s also easy for me to slide into ‘allowing’ him to let me make all the decisions on what to do when we’re together. And I’d rather it be more balanced, at least in this case. We should both be happy!

    1. thank you! We are, and I love that. I think it’s important and the more comfortable we get, the more other things will shift, like his opening up to me and starting to make more decisions πŸ˜‰

  11. Ok, like everyone else, I was cracking-up! Eric recently informed me of his dislike for the submarine scope poo as well! I think I am going to laugh about this all day. The things you say when you’re snowed-in…I can’t wait to read tonight’s blog. : ) Miss you, friend!

    1. Ha-ha! See, I knew Eric and M had much in common, but the submarine poop too?! Wow πŸ˜‰ I can just imagine you laughing reading this, and if we were together, we’d laugh at our laughs together πŸ˜‰ Miss you too!

    1. LOL! Great pillow talk huh? So hot! ;-P And no, I never have. I don’t know how I do it, maybe it’s just habit? I’ve never done it in front of anyone before!

  12. Wow. This first conversation sounds so much like conversations between my man and me. It is better now, almost 2 years in. Just keep encouraging him. And sometimes… he just MAY be indifferent. I am indifferent a lot of the time because I just want to be around my Gentleman, no matter WHAT we’re doing.

    The second conversation? Hilarious. Love it! It’s so fun to have someone to be silly with!

    1. *sigh of relief* glad it’s not just M that has this thing with indifference;-) And you are right, sometimes you DO just want to be with each other, no matter what/where/when/how. As for the second convo, hehe, yea it was a goodie πŸ˜‰

  13. I don’t think, in 4 years of dating, that Stephen and I have EVER had a conversation like that.

    But, to be fair, the night after Stephen and I met, he BLEW UP my bathroom. Literally, it stank hours after he dropped his bomb. So I guess we never needed to have a conversation like that. πŸ™‚

    1. LOL! Yea, it was a fun conversation but uh, unique, let’s say πŸ˜‰ THAT is a riot about Stephen! I’m sure he will never live that down huh? Nice.

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