The weekend in moments…and a few questions.

…the most perfectly cooked tenderloin steak and poached lobster ever. Bliss.

…cooing, drools, and naps on auntie’s shoulder. Isabel is perfection.

…realizing time and again how much M ‘gets’ me, anticipates my needs and is on the same wavelength. Almost always.

…double-dating with my sis and bro in law, laughter, jokes, champagne and wine flowing.

…day-dreaming about warm locales and thinking that perhaps a mini trip away somewhere warm may actually be in the cards.

…getting my first paycheck! (finally!)

…kitty cuddles. Squeezing them in before Monday’s trip to Cali.

…realizing that I actually *do* look forward to these trips, even if they are draining and new and scary. (and the mid-70s there vs. -8 temps here may be a factor!).

…noticing a few improvements since I start doing Core Fusion in the last few weeks. Little rocks are huge.

…a much-needed mani/pedi with my sis Jess for my embarrassingly awful toes and fingernails (legit. not even exxaggerating!)

..an evening ahead relaxing and gearing up for a hectic week ahead (but at least I get to stay in this hotel. check out those pics!).

Moments.

~~

Things I’m pondering (but can’t quite resolve):

Looking forward to alone time away from M. As much as I love him and thoroughly enjoy every moment we spend together, there are times where my alone time is in a way, sometimes more important. Why is that?

Blogging is my outlet. My mecca, in a way, and it allows me to connect with you, so many so similar in many ways. But sometimes I wonder, what if I didn’t blog? Would I overthink less? Would I not think twice about why my routine is sometimes more important to me than maybe it should?

As much as I consider myself a good friend, there are days where I wonder if I really am. Do I reach out enough? Do I spend enough time with those I care about? Am I considerate? Or do I just see things through puppies-and-rainbows glasses and have some work to do in this department?

And honestly, will I ever *not* overthink and just be? For as happy as I am, and for as firmly planted as I feel, why do I question so often? Is it paranoia? Am I an overachiever?

~~

On a side note…

Packing. Does anyone have a good ‘method?’ Snack ideas? Book or audio ideas?

(PS – I added a ‘players‘ page to my blog. Hopefully it helps some of the newer readers that pop in. For those of you who know me, anyone you see missing?!)

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39 thoughts on “The weekend in moments…and a few questions.

  1. I was JUST thinking about that the other day…the whole blogging thing. What if I didn’t blog anymore? Would I obsess less, overthink less, etc? Makes me think. As for your other questions, I think it’s totally normal that you look forward to your alone time. I totally do look forward to the one night a week that Scott goes to bowling because it’s mine to do with it what I want, whatever I want (not that i can’t do that any other day, but you know what I mean). I think it’s normal and healthy and just right. No overthinking allowed on that one 😉

    1. Seriously, right? Sometimes I get so blog-minded that I forget to just ‘be’ and see what happens. I mean, 90% of the time, I absolutely adore blogging, but that 10% of my mind just thinks too blog-focused sometimes. Weird. And yea, I know, you are right, it’s okay to want alone time.

  2. oh, overthinking. the sensitive, smart person’s favorite disease. i don’t know if it’ll ever stop for me, but i do salve myself with the thought that the whole cycle of “should i? do i? can i?” is a sign that i’m in touch with myself. it’s not much, but it’s something.

    and core fusion sounds AMAZING. i just picked up one of the DVDs – i’ll let you know how it goes for me!

    1. You’re right, I am in touch with myself, but sometimes I wonder if TOO much! That’s my blog ‘curse’ in a way. I guess. As for Core Fusion, I think you will love it! it’s super challenging and completely different than anything I’ve ever done, but so far, I am seeing it. And that’s huge, as most ab-type work doesn’t help me enough. Part of me needs to retrain my mind into realizing that an hour of core fusion IS a workout, even if I don’t sweat as much as an hour of spinning or something. The improvements show.

  3. I don’t think needing or wanting time apart from M is a bad thing. I think it’s extremely healthy for any relationship to keep a sense of “you”. Absence always does make the heart grown fonder and that is not a bad thing. Have fun in CA – that hotel looks fan-freakin’-tastic! Lucky girl!

    1. You’re right, it is very important. I don’t know why I keep questioning it, when I want it and need it, just like any of us! And yea, the hotel does, I just hope I get to actually SEE the beach instead of just locked in conference rooms!

  4. Sounds like a great weekend to me. Girl I am soooo with you on the over thinking. Maybe it’s just part of who you are though? As much as I try to not over think every single thing, I can’t seem to help myself. I am learning to go with the flow better, but I don’t think that’s my personality. I can only try to relax more, to enjoy more, but there is always going to be that tendency to worry, to think, to try to plot and plan it all out. Gotta find the positive side to that. Maybe learn to strike an acceptable balance.

    1. Yes, it is a balance, and I know we are very similar that way! It is hard NOT to plan ahead, think ahead and just plain THINK. I guess it’s mostly good, just sometimes, I would rather just enjoy!

  5. Alone time is a MUST. And you’re going to have to make an effort to find it now that you’re traveling and working from home. It may *seem* that you’re alone all the time but you need time to just BE at home, doing nothing, hanging out. Balance is good.

    Enjoy the Cali warmth!

    Oh and I see you got your lobster after all! 😉

    1. I DID get my lobster. So so good too! And you are right, it is one thing to be alone traveling or working from home and just BEING at home. That has definately got to be part of what’s at play here too. Learning that balance.

  6. I’m with T on the alone time. I think some of us need it more than others but if you are someone who needs alone time, it is really important to make that a priority.

    On M quitting school, I would encourage him to finish his thesis and then reevaluate. It sounds like he has a lot of pressures right now and quitting would be the easy way out but it not be the best decision in the long run.

    1. You’re right, I do still need to make that a priority, the alone time. I think that it’s just completely opposite what I was used to before – never wanting to be alone – that makes it feel ‘weird’ to me to want that, despite loving to spend time with him as often as I can.

  7. I don’t think you’re over-thinking, you’re just thinking, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think your blog is a safe place for you to express those thoughts and without it you would probably feel clouded.

    As far as alone time goes, we alll need it! It’s healthy, I’m glad you crave it.

    Thank god for paydays!!

    1. True, I think my blogging brain has helped me muddle through some thoughts and all of you have certainly helped provide perspective and encouragement, so I wouldn’t change that for the world!

  8. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting alone time. It’s totally healthy and required in a loving relationship, in my opinion. Don’t overthink this one!! lol

    As for packing, I’m a HUGE believer in lists. Start making your list, gradually, the week or so before you leave, as you remember items to put on it. By the time the day comes when you need to actually physically pack it all into a suitcase, it should be relatively easy! 🙂

    1. Yea, I know, I shouldn’t overthink the alone time! What am I thinking?! 😉 As for packing, I usually am a list person, but this time, I so didn’t make one and legitimately almost forgot to pack bras! Woops! Good thing I haven’t left yet 😉

  9. So glad you have so much happy in your life. And, yes, sometimes you should just be. Savor your alone moments. And think of me while you enjoy that magnificent view.

    Big hugs!

  10. I really treasure my alone time… Much more than most people, I think.

    As for packing… I roll my shirts. I can always fit more in that way. Also, I’m not picky about shampoo or conditioner so I always leave them behind. Hotels always have some available and it’s just one less thing to pack and/or explode on your neatly rolled shirts!

    1. Hmm. rolling my shirts. That’s a good idea. I think I fit everything laid flat, but when I need to travel for more than 4 days, I think I might need to go that route! (and I am glad I am not alone in the needing the alone time thing!).

  11. It is soooo ok to need some time away from M. Really. Seriously, it is. You adore him. That doesn’t change if one night you want to sit in yoga pants and watch Eat, Pray, Love, lol. We all need those nights.

    As for blogging? I firmly believe you would still overthink everything if you gave it up. Why you ask? Because that’s the type of people we are and that’s why we started blogging in the first place! haha.

    1. This is true. I DO adore him. I guess it just makes me feel guilty when I DO want alone time. I know that probably sounds weird. But I think we all do need that ‘me recharge’ sometimes! But yes, I think we blog partially because we are inquisitive and are thinkers at heart. So true.

  12. Packing. I am all over this.

    First of all I am incredibly anal so I have a list that I check off so that I don’t forget anything so that helps. But basically I try to always carry on so I take some steps to make that easier. SO here are a few tips.

    *Plan your outfits around one pair of dress shoes. Shoes take up so much space!
    *Keep a zip lock baggie with all travel related supplies in tact at all times. That way you don’t forget toothpaste or face wash.
    *Keep a separate travel toothbrush.
    *Phone/ipod charges – don’t forget
    *Workout shoes take up a lot of space so only take them when you know you will have time to use them.
    *Plan your outfits day by day and resist the urge to overpack. I am a big fan of day to night outfits so that you can wear essentially the same thing from work to dinner.

    1. I knew you’d come through for me 😉 This is a great rule of thumb list and I am mostly following it. I am wearing my workout sneakers to the airport so I don’t have to pack them and am bringing two pairs of shoes, working all outfits around them. I only packed one extra outfit in case I don’t like one, but I know that’s probably overpacking a bit 😉

  13. I think you do a wonderful blog but if you feel it’s not right for you to blog or it makes you overthink and doesn’t make you happy, then maybe quit blogging. You have to do what feels right for you. You seem like you’d be a great friend to your friends so I think that’s all good. I get what you mean about wanting your own time now, I’m like that too when I’m in a relationship and like having “me” time.

    As for packing, I’m a nerd when it comes to packing. I work through the a typical day and start with getting up in the morning and then I know what I need to pack eg. have my shower so I need to pack shower stuff (unless they supply toiletries with your job), put on clothes and go through the day and then I never forget anything. I also roll all my clothes, you can fit more into a bag this way and the clothes never look creased. I leave some of my clothes in my work wardrobe in work so I take less clothes in my bag.

    As for the workouts, so glad you’re liking Core Fusion, I’ve got to try these workouts.

    1. The second person to mention the rolling idea! I like it. As for the blogging…i don’t know that I would quit, as I DO love it, it’s just those rare occasions where I get to a point where I think too much about it, or about overthinking. If that makes any sense!

  14. I still want time away from Hardscape. I like my sapce and it makes me miss him but it is good. I can be an over thinker from time to time but I shut it off pretty well. I’ll drive myself crazy with all the what ifs. Life is to short. I’ve had hard lessons in that though so it is easier for me to say “fuck it, lets see how this works out.”

  15. I’m jealous of the sirloin, lobster, and niece time! 🙂 It sounds like you had a great weekend. I don’t know what to make of your wanting alone time away from M. I do think it’s important to cultivate that part of your life. But it may be worth a deeper examination (because you don’t overthink things enough). Maybe things are going a little fast or something. I don’t know anything obviously. I’m just speculating. I know for me personally when I want alone time, it’s because I don’t want to be with that person. I hope I don’t get a lot of backlash for this comment! I still love you and M together!!!

    1. Haha, nah, no backlash. Everyone is different. For me, I know for certain that it isn’t because I don’t want to be with him at all, it is simply just wanting that ‘me’ time. I also think it has to do with my fear of losing balance. The life/man balance and the friend/man balance. Both are very important to me, and I think should be taken into consideration for anyone getting involved in a serious relationship.

  16. Packing tips? I have them.

    Buy a good piece of carry on luggage that you like (unless you are the checking bags type). Mine has a seperate section for my laptop, built in shoe section, etc. Makes packing way easier and it goes a lot faster through security when I’m not digging stuff out.

    Snacks I always bring a refillable water bottle (empty through TSA security) that I fill before I get on plane. And I typically bring fruit/nuts whatever as a snack. I’m still old school and carry books though.

    1. Thank you! I have to check my bag as seriously, trying to fit everything in a carry on for a week is so not something I am capable of 😉 But I like the refillable water bottle idea. Hadn’t thought of that and hate paying a boatload of money for water everywhere! I am bringing a book this time vs. kindle given last time it gave me trouble and then I was bookless! at least on my flight out, I have JetBlue 🙂

  17. I definitely think it’s okay that you’re looking forward to your alone time! It shows how much you’ve grown as a person. And I truly, TRULY think that those who have their own independent lives (and are happy with them) are the happiest in relationships, too. 🙂

    And that HOTEL?!!! Oh my word!!! I hope you’re having a blast, girl, and enjoying that heat! I won’t tell you what temp it is currently here…. 😉

    1. You are right, it is okay, and I need to keep remembering that! Of course, now that I am away, the last thing I want is time away from M. Sigh 😉 And yea, the hotel should be really nice! I will be there this evening! It’s 72 degrees out here, I am in heaven.

  18. Packing tips – less pants than tops and stick with the same colors. It might be boring to only have black pants/skirts for one trip (and one pair of jeans or something for going out), but it makes packing so much easier.

    With respect to blogging, I don’t see it as over-thinking, but rather, how you process things. (I do the same.) And, I consider you a wonderful and incredibly considerate friend. I bet the girls who you know in real life think even more of you :). Go easy on yourself! xoxo

    1. Yes, good call on the coordinating colors. I am learning that slowly. And to bring comfier shoes if I have to wear them repeatedly! And thank you so much for considering me such a good friend, I hope I am. Sometimes I just worry that I’m not doing enough!

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