You know it’s real…

When the things he says are dead-on.

“Did you ever imagine yourself doing this? Jet-setting all over the place for your job?”

Me: “Actually, that’s a really good point. No, I didn’t. Especially not when I was married. Far too scary.”

M just ‘gets‘ me. He identifies with me and supports me in the challenges I set forth for myself, personally and professionally. It makes a huge difference when the partner in your life is ‘in’ it with you. And he is. He just gets me.

When you can sit across from each other at dinner and engage in deep conversation. About lessons learned, about love, and life.

Over dinner on Saturday night, we got into this really interesting conversation about balance in a relationship and where friends fit in. He used to get calls from his friends and he response, oftentimes was to turn them down, saying “guys…look, I’m married now.”

I raised my eyebrows at that and said, “wait…you don’t really believe that now, do you?” Because friendships are just as important as your significant other, in my opinion, and I think he learned that perhaps the hard way (putting his ex first, even if it wasn’t his priority) because his ex gave him a hard time for going out, and eventually, it just ‘stuck.’ I am really glad we talked about it, because I think he would easily fall into that habit if he (and I) let him. I never want to stand in his way of his life and friends, and vice versa. It was also my opportunity to be honest with him that my friends are very important to me, and as much as I love spending time with him, I also love spending time with my friends…they aren’t many, but they are golden. He tells me all the time how great my friends are and how lucky I am to have them. And ya know what? He’s right.

When you can talk candidly about your relationship.

Me: what’s the hardest thing about our relationship?

Him: “not seeing you every day.”

Me: “I knew you were going to say that. And ya know, the hardest part of our relationship, at first, not so much now, is adjusting my routine and fitting you in to my life because I got so used to it the way it was, that no matter how much I love seeing you, it has been an adjustment.”

And he completely understood, and knew that this has been my struggle. But he didn’t flinch or react negatively. He just gets me. Understands where I’m coming from. And has the patience of a saint, as we know.

When you can laugh hysterically, to the point of tears.

There have been many occasions where we laugh hysterically over stuff. Could be the most random discussion about something or a funny story, or just the way he delivers on a joke cracks me up. An example of a random funny?(mini TMI alert)

(laying in bed)

Me: “ugh, the tag in my underwear is itching me and I can’t tear it off. Help me?”

Him: *trying to pull off the tag* “I can’t do it, it’s hard to get a good grip.”

Me: “here, try this angle.” (as I guide his hand to the edge that is itchy, while holding down the seam so it doesn’t rip the actual underwear)

Him: “my hands aren’t scissors!”

Me: cracking up hysterically. For oh, maybe 10 minutes? I have no idea why, but that statement was so ridiculously funny! As I read it here, it’s actually not *that* funny, but in that moment, it was. Maybe it was the situation itself and what I was asking him to help me with, or just the way he said it. We just laugh together. So well. And I love it. Laughter is the spice of life, sometimes, isn’t it?

~~

It’s real. I know it is. And this weekend proved it even more. With everything that we did together, it came through loud and clear. Our conversations are endless. Our goals in life are complementary. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and love each other. What more can I ask for at this very moment?

(well, maybe just a pair of scissors…)

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38 thoughts on “You know it’s real…

  1. I can so relate to this post! This sounds a bit like my weekends. Mr. Perfect & I have progressed to the stage where we say things at the exact same time. We can be honest with each other. He doesn’t have a lot of friends here and he wants to make more and spend time with them. I am ecstatic about that, because I have been craving a little more me time. Neither of these are developments that I could have forseen, but they were things we talked about with no hurt feelings.

    It’s just so good to enjoy where you are and the person you’re there with, isn’t it? To know that he’s “going your way” so to speak, that you’re walking together (because you agree)? I love the little moments that make that even more clear to me.

    1. Wow, really does sound like we are on the same wavelength in our relationships right now. I totally get the ‘me’ time need too. I definitely need it! And I think it’s healthy to want and to each have, too.

  2. Reading your post with a smile, so glad you and M are getting on so well and are so comfortable with each other. It’s great too that you “get each other” and you share the same sense of humour. It’s also wonderful that he’s happy for you to spend time with your friends and vice versa. I think sometimes girls more than guys have a tendency to ditch their friends when a new man comes on the scene, having time with the girls and guys having time with the boys is really important.

    1. Glad to make you smile 🙂 and you are right, I think women do tend to “ditch” friends when they find a man, more than men. It’s a bad habit for either man or woman in a relationship, as far as I’m concerned, but one very easy to slip into!

    1. LOL care to mail the scissors? Just kidding 😉 And yes, Maine will be AWESOME. I know he’ll love it and it’ll make it that much more awesome!

  3. it’s so true. it’s been such a relief to be with someone who gets me inside and out. and it’s doubly good to experience this after being with someone who often just didn’t. you learn to appreciate being understood after something like that.

    glad y’all are so happy. 🙂

    1. you really do appreciate being understood so much more after *not* being understood for so long. It’s really important! So glad you are having the same with your man!

  4. Love this. And for future reference, try buying underwear without tags. There are other things he can be doing with his hands and your underwear…

    So thrilled for you.

    Big hugs!

  5. I love everything about this. How supportive M is of you, of everything about you, and even knows you better than you even know yourself in some ways. AND any man that you can laugh hysterically with is a keeper – if you can’t laugh in a relationship, what’s left really? It goes back to the whole being in love but also being companions and best friends who supports eachother, watches eachother reach for new goals and dreams and loves every single second spent together (and apart).

  6. It’s so easy to let friendships slide in the wake of love. But a lot of good friends have been lost that way!

    All relationship studies point out that one of the key ways to keep love alive is to have outside friends and interests, so how insightful of you to realize this!

    You’re gonna make it after all!

  7. It sounds like the two of you actually have a pretty good routine together. I still like my me time from time to time, I think it makes your appreciate the time together more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder or some crap like that:)

    1. LOL yea some crap like that 😉 But I agree with you. We do have a good routine going and when we aren’t together, I enjoy my me and friend and family time, and can share that with him too, so it’s all good. We’re starting to just roll with it more 🙂

  8. I can’t do it, it’s hard to get a good grip

    If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard THAT in bed…

    Seriously, I can’t believe he told his friends he couldn’t hang out because he’s “married now.” I hope he did learn his lesson. As you know, one of my slogans is: you can’t get it all from one person.

    And TMI might have been warranted if he offered to bite off the tag.

    1. LOL!! That has ‘that’s what she said” written allll over it, doesn’t it? Tee-hee. Yeah, I know, that comment caused me to raise my eyebrow, too. I couldn’t believe he actually told his friends that. I am glad he mentioned it because I want to make sure and help him NOT fall into that trap ever again!

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