When the things he says are dead-on.
“Did you ever imagine yourself doing this? Jet-setting all over the place for your job?”
Me: “Actually, that’s a really good point. No, I didn’t. Especially not when I was married. Far too scary.”
M just ‘gets‘ me. He identifies with me and supports me in the challenges I set forth for myself, personally and professionally. It makes a huge difference when the partner in your life is ‘in’ it with you. And he is. He just gets me.
When you can sit across from each other at dinner and engage in deep conversation. About lessons learned, about love, and life.
Over dinner on Saturday night, we got into this really interesting conversation about balance in a relationship and where friends fit in. He used to get calls from his friends and he response, oftentimes was to turn them down, saying “guys…look, I’m married now.”
I raised my eyebrows at that and said, “wait…you don’t really believe that now, do you?” Because friendships are just as important as your significant other, in my opinion, and I think he learned that perhaps the hard way (putting his ex first, even if it wasn’t his priority) because his ex gave him a hard time for going out, and eventually, it just ‘stuck.’ I am really glad we talked about it, because I think he would easily fall into that habit if he (and I) let him. I never want to stand in his way of his life and friends, and vice versa. It was also my opportunity to be honest with him that my friends are very important to me, and as much as I love spending time with him, I also love spending time with my friends…they aren’t many, but they are golden. He tells me all the time how great my friends are and how lucky I am to have them. And ya know what? He’s right.
When you can talk candidly about your relationship.
Me: what’s the hardest thing about our relationship?
Him: “not seeing you every day.”
Me: “I knew you were going to say that. And ya know, the hardest part of our relationship, at first, not so much now, is adjusting my routine and fitting you in to my life because I got so used to it the way it was, that no matter how much I love seeing you, it has been an adjustment.”
And he completely understood, and knew that this has been my struggle. But he didn’t flinch or react negatively. He just gets me. Understands where I’m coming from. And has the patience of a saint, as we know.
When you can laugh hysterically, to the point of tears.
There have been many occasions where we laugh hysterically over stuff. Could be the most random discussion about something or a funny story, or just the way he delivers on a joke cracks me up. An example of a random funny?(mini TMI alert)
(laying in bed)
Me: “ugh, the tag in my underwear is itching me and I can’t tear it off. Help me?”
Him: *trying to pull off the tag* “I can’t do it, it’s hard to get a good grip.”
Me: “here, try this angle.” (as I guide his hand to the edge that is itchy, while holding down the seam so it doesn’t rip the actual underwear)
Him: “my hands aren’t scissors!”
Me: cracking up hysterically. For oh, maybe 10 minutes? I have no idea why, but that statement was so ridiculously funny! As I read it here, it’s actually not *that* funny, but in that moment, it was. Maybe it was the situation itself and what I was asking him to help me with, or just the way he said it. We just laugh together. So well. And I love it. Laughter is the spice of life, sometimes, isn’t it?
It’s real. I know it is. And this weekend proved it even more. With everything that we did together, it came through loud and clear. Our conversations are endless. Our goals in life are complementary. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and love each other. What more can I ask for at this very moment?
(well, maybe just a pair of scissors…)